Tuesday, November 10, 2009

femulating is hard work

My wife often comments that since it takes so long for me to get ready to go out en femme, is it worth it?

Of course, it is worth it (what a silly question), but she does make a legitimate observation, i.e., it does take me a long time to get ready.

My excuse is that I am obsessive compulsive. According to Wikipedia , "The phrase "obsessive-compulsive" has worked its way into the wider English lexicon, and is often used in an offhand manner to describe someone who is meticulous or absorbed in a cause. Such casual references should not be confused with obsessive-compulsive disorder…" (So, I'm not nuts, just a little crazy!)

As a result, when I go out en femme, I want to look as perfect as possible, which means flawless makeup and not a hair showing that should not be showing.

I love putting on makeup and if I have the time, I indulge myself in the makeup process and can while away an hour or so putting on the war paint. But usually I don't have the time and I must get the job done as quickly as possible.

After years of practice, I have my makeup routine down to about 45 minutes if everything goes smoothly. I see no way of reducing that time without cutting corners and I refuse to cut corners, so there is that 45-minute investment put into getting en femme.

The actual dressing is the easy part. I usually have my outfit picked out beforehand and I can have it on from soup to nuts, or should I say from corset to wig in 15 minutes or less.

The wig I wear these days is a "shake and bake" wig. I just shake it out, put it on my head, make a few adjustments, and I'm done. I use self-stick pre-glued nails and they go on in less than five minutes with no muss or fuss. So, once my makeup is on, I can be out the door in less than a half hour.

Now the part I hate: hair depilation.

I am hairy. It is everywhere and depending on what I plan to wear, it can take 30 minutes to an hour just to get rid of it all.

I have long legs and they alone take some time to depilate. If I wear anything other than a long sleeved dress or top, then I have to depilate my arms. If I am wearing anything that exposes my shoulders, then they must be depilated, too. And so it goes for my chest and back if I am wearing anything that is low-cut in the front or back. Shaving my face is a joy in comparison.

When I come face-to-face with my hairy problem, I start thinking that my wife might be right, i.e., is it worth it?

Yes, it's hard work, but I still think it is worth every minute of it.


  1. I agree, Staci - it's very much worth it! :) As much as I wish I could pull a "Genie" and just blink myself into full-femme-mode, it requires much more effort. The effort is time consuming and I honestly don't enjoy the transformation process - from hours of full-body shaving to putting the final touches on my makeup. Once the process is over, I'm left with a BIG smile on my face and feeling upbeat, confident, fully-alive, and let's not forget feminine.

    You're in very good company with the hairy issues, Staci, I'm sad to say. We got to do what we got to do though, right? The smiling face in the mirror deserves it. :)

  2. Susan McDonnellNovember 10, 2009

    I have to do a lot of shaving as well. I find my face the hardest. The hairs grow in various directions and I have to make several passes over each area to get close enough that I don't have to use spackle to hide it all.

    If it's any consolation, my wife has to shave her chin every day too, even though she's GG. She has to work to hide the shadow just like we do.

  3. Gabrielle --- The hard work is most definitely worth the price of admission into the girls' club.

  4. Susan --- My wife has some face hair issues, too!