Wednesday, October 26, 2022

No one would ever guess that you’re not a woman

Hard to believe, but one of my favorite Halloweens was five years ago even though it seems like it was just yesterday. I just reread the post describing that outing and I am sharing it with you again.

I slept late (I've been doing that a lot since I retired) and pretty much abandoned my Halloween plans because I would be getting such a late start. So I performed my normal morning routine, then sipped a cup of coffee while reading the newspaper.

My wife and I always read our daily horoscopes to each other for amusement, but when I read mine, I was enthused rather than amused. 

So I put down the newspaper, took my cup of coffee to the bathroom, set up my makeup mirror and began doing my makeup. Ninety minutes later, I completed my transition and looked very business-like wearing a vintage pinstripe skirt suit that I bought on eBay over 20 years ago.

Hair Salon

I was on the road at 11 AM and made my first stop only two miles away at the salon where I have been getting my hair done for over 25 years.

Two years ago, I was getting my hair done after Halloween and my hairdresser, Miss D, asked if I did anything for the holiday. So I pulled out my iPhone and showed her my en femme photo. She was floored and could not get over it, so I decided to let her see my femulation in person this year.

I entered the salon and Miss D greeted me without a glimmer of recognition. I played along and said I wanted to make an appointment with my regular hairdresser, Miss K. Miss D opened the appointment book and found an opening that I could fill, then she asked my name (to enter into the book).

When I told her my boy name, her jaw dropped and the “Oh, my God’s” began flowing without interruption. Just then, another hairdresser, Miss C, showed up for work and she was flabbergasted, too.

Miss D had to return to her station to attend to a customer, but Miss C hung back and agreed to take some photos with my iPhone.


Next stop was my bank, where I usually do my business via the drive-through window. Since I was cashing a check and making a withdrawal, I would have to show my I.D. (my drivers license) and there might be some confusion considering how I appeared, so I went indoors rather than driving through.

As I entered, I saw three women staffing the bank — I have done business with all three of them for a number of years, usually at the drive-through window and occasionally up front and personal.

I greeted the woman who was seated typing away at a computer in the cubicle just inside the bank entrance. She looked up from the computer and was clueless.

I smiled and said, “Happy Halloween! You may know me as [insert my male name].”

I believe she heard me, but I think she could not believe her eyes and asked, “Who?”

I had to repeat my name a couple of times before it sank in and she said, “Wow — you look fabulous!”

“Thank-you,” and I proceeded to get into the line waiting for my turn at the teller, who greeted me with a big smile as I queued up. The third woman was staffing the drive-through window and did not seem to recognize me.

When it was my turn, I walked up to the teller, who greeted me so profusely that I knew she knew who I was.

“You look lovely today,” she said.

“You know who I am, don't you.”

“I recognized you as soon as you walked in.”

There were no other customers in the bank, so my teller called over the other teller and asked her if she recognized me.

The other teller did not have a clue.

My teller tried to clue her in with this hint, “Who has a green car and always uses the drive-through window?”

The other teller was still clueless.

Another clue, “Who has a little friend (my dog) in the passenger seat?”

Still nothing!

My teller finally showed her my drivers license and the other teller shouted out my male name followed by a series of question marks and exclamation points. She was amazed and gushed over my “disguise.”

I asked my teller if she would take my photo and she said she would love to do it, so I handed her my iPhone and she took a half dozen shots including the one above.

I said my goodbyes and as I passed the cubicle where the first woman was working, she stopped me and went on and on about how convincing I looked.

I mentioned how my wife always said that I would never pass because of my large size.

“Oh, no,” she retorted, “No one would ever guess that you’re not a woman.”

And so it goes.

Source: Elisabetta Franchi
Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

Warren Fremming and Chuck Bratton
Warren Fremming and Chuck Bratton femulating in the 1972 film All About Alice.


  1. I hope the bank would make sure I am who I say I am
    Having my account cleaned out by thieves does not appeal to me

    1. My bank always insists on seeing an ID (drivers license) before they allow you to clean out your account.

  2. The greatest of all "Escapes" is when "No one would ever guess that you’re not a woman." A good day!

  3. The holy grail is when they read you as cisgender, I am sure that happens all the time with you Stana. I had a couple of good days like that and they buoy me thru the tough times. I went to my favorite thrift store en femme and they didn't know who I was. When I cam back a week later the told me the same that they thought I was female. (sigh)

  4. The last pre-covid Halloween in 2019, I went to work en femme. Professional attire, black faux leather skirt, knee boots w/4" heels, fuchsia faux suede jacket and pink turtleneck top. What made my morning was when my colleague came in a workroom and told me she was upset with me "because I looked better than she ever could." It's too bad I am still working offsite this Halloween, but I still plan on heavy pink mascara during ZOOM meetings. You can't let this day go bye without having some fun!

  5. Do they now know about that side of you or was this just a thing you did at Halloween and have not been back en femme since?

    1. I dunno what they know. I have not returned en femme to either establishment. However, the hairdresser knew that I was en femme at work at least once before my Halloween in-person visit. And my banking habits have changed and I seldom do business at that branch any longer.

  6. What a terrific affirmation of your true self!!

  7. A couple of years ago I had an appointment in Atlanta, which is about an eight hour drive from where I live in Florida. I thought it would be a great outing for Lee, so early that morning I got dressed, did make up and all the other things that Lee would need to do and then headed to the Big Peach. I arrived at the hotel on the north side of Atlanta and went in to check in. I had forgotten that they asked for ID in addition to the credit card on check in. So when the clerk asked me for my ID after I had given her the credit card, I took a hard swallow and handed her my very real male driver's license. She looked at it and then looked at me and said "I will need your husband's ID since the booking is in his name." I told her that is me on the license, she still looked a little uncertain. I told her I know it can get confusing, but that 's me... I'm sorry. She gave me a big smile and processed the reservation!

  8. My guess. Stana, is you might have a tenor voice. I get read as a woman until I speak, and then most of the time I get read as a man. My voice borders on being based profundo which in no way.sounds like a woman. If I wanted to pass as a woman I would have to alter my speaking voice which I refuse to do.


  9. I will be Femulating Monday. I have a lovely blue Polka-dot dress that I'll be wearing to the office.
    Re not being recognized: I live outside of Las Vegas, NV. I regularly drive into the city to go to Costco or to do things that aren't available in my hometown. My blue dress is from an auction based in Vegas. I had items to collect from the auction house last weekend. I've started making these trips en femme. Saturday was no exception. That trip, I went to Vegas alone. Everything was normal until the driver behind me at an intersection became impatient when the car ahead of me didn't proceed through a green light.
    When the car ahead of me finally moved I proceeded forward but the guy behind me had already started passing me while using the right turn only lane and he sideswiped me as he went by. As his little car brushed my minivan, I didn't notice and kept going on my way. He pulled to the curb as I went by him. Angered by my failure to stop after he'd hit me, he raced from the curb to the center turn lane and steered his little car into the side of my van to perform a PIT maneuver to get me to stop. It worked, it stopped me. I got out of the van and he immediately asked why I'd hit him? Um?
    Police called. Blah, blah, blah. I called my ex-wife to let her know that I'd not be there any time soon, she sent her new husband over to keep me company. I told her to let him know that I'm the one in a skirt. He's a former LV police sergeant. We sat in his truck. My in my skirt and tee shirt, waiting for the responding officers to arrive. Ex arrives a few minutes later and my two kids shortly after that. We're just hanging out, chatting, being silly and having a grand time. Three hours later, the officers arrive, mister new hubby goes to chat with them, they call me over to get my story. Another officer calls the other driver over to get his tale.
    Blah, blah, blah. My wife's van is battered but was fine to drive home. I'm fine, no injuries at all. Other guy destroyed his car and blew out a tire and now is claiming injury.
    The real reason why this all matters is: The insurance lady keeps asking if my wife took the photos of the damage at the accident scene or if she was driving at the time of the crash. I'm dying for her to ask why someone in a skirt is was on the scene at the time of the incident.


    If I can manage it, I'll get photos of Monday's work outfit!