Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Should He or She Go?

My former employer is having their annual Christmas luncheon on Tuesday and they invited me to attend.

I accepted, but I am on the fence about attending en homme or en femme.

You may recall that I showed up for work en femme the previous five Halloweens in a row. You may also recall that I did not visit my former employer on Halloween this year because I got such a late start.

At my retirement party in May, two female co-workers asked if I would visit the salt mine on Halloween en femme. I answered that if I did make a Halloween visit, I would be en femme.

I don't think anyone would be too surprised if I showed up en femme. It would kind of confirm any doubters that I am gender diverse and not just a talented Halloween costumer.

So what is holding me back?

I feel I was a little dishonest showing up for work en femme the previous five Halloweens in a row, presumably as a talented Halloween costumer. I did not dissuade anyone of that notion, but I also did not announce that I was transgender. And nobody asked, so I did not lie.

For what it's worth, I did come out to two Human Resources reps (both female), two of my bosses  (both female) and one friend (a gay male). After I retired, somebody may have spilled the beans, but I don't know.

What do I have to lose? It is likely the last time I will see these people, so why not let them see the real me.


I received the invitation Monday afternoon and RSVP'd Monday evening. The person who sent the invitation and received my RSVP is the executive assistant at my old salt mine. She loves my past Halloween appearances en femme and has bragged that I am "very good" at femulating. She also calls me "Sandy" (long story) when I femulate.

Anyway, I RSVP'd Monday evening and composed the above post Monday night.

Tuesday morning, I received an email from the executive assistant responding to my RSVP. It contained only two words, "Awesome Sandy."

Source: Vogue
Wearing Adam Lippes (Source: Vogue)

Dalibor Gondik
Dalibor Gondik femulates Dolly Parton on Czech Republic television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.


  1. It certainly appears that 'Sandy' is expected to attend! Go for it, have no regrets. Whatta' they gonna do? FIRE you?

    "It would be illogical to protest against our natures"--Spock of Vulcan speaking to T-Pring his betrothed during his Pon-Farr...
    ncmarko aka Velma Dinkley

  2. I'd interpret that as being that the invitation was for the en femme version of you. ;-)

  3. Stana,

    then it is clear, they are expecting “Sandy”, so don’t let them down.

    But even without that encouragement be true to yourself... give yourself lots of time to prepare and travel and enjoy a wonderful time.

    You are an inspiration to me and so many other followers. One day I may even become confident enough to become a contributor, send you a picture and my story.

    Go girl !

    a UK home femulator

  4. OMG. I am so thrilled for you. Own the moment.

  5. Of course you're going en femme. You're retired. You've no need to hide your true self from anyone. I imagine a lot of wagers will be won and lost that night, and that's ok. You always represent us in grand style, so unless you can think of some significant reasons to go en drab, don't.

    I'm surprised that you don't have a Christmas card this year with Stana's (and wife's) holiday photo on it. That would be daring, and cute as all heck.

    Enjoy the party and the reunion.

    Best wishes for the holiday season,

  6. Oh i would love to be in that situation..., even if i´m so deep in the closet that i coulnd´t found myself sometimes...
    And if i had this invitation i´m shure i would love to show myself en femme.
    And you look so wonderfull as a woman that i would be a shame to waste that opportunity.
    So dress yourself up, wear your new boots and show them the woman you are....

  7. So Stana, You now must go en femme. Go and have a good time.

  8. I say go for it! And you must tell us about the story of "Sandy" sometime!:-)

  9. It looks like the organisers are expecting Stana
    The perfect excuse to wear your best dress and accessories
    Just be carefull you do not look better than the non TG ladies there

  10. I second (or third, or whatever) all of thee above - go forth en femme and have fun!

  11. I think everyone has voted for you to attend the event en femme. I agree 100%!!! That said be dressed very sophisticated yet exhibiting a holiday flair! Take photos with everyone there and have someone use your camera/phone to record the event for your remembrance as well. Celebrate the season, your femininity, and your friendships. Be yourself and celebrate life. Remember to live life in the moment without regret!


    As already mentioned: there is no need to hide anymore. Even if the president of the United States will attend.
    Just wear, what you may wished to have dressed like since years!
    Now YOU have the "luxury" to define your own dresscode.
    Hope to read your story soon! :)

  13. Stana, ok, now you have to tell us the "Sandy" story! Hugs Allison!

  14. Julie M ShawDecember 14, 2017

    Is there still a question? I think not - but it is your decision to make.
    I have recently been invited by 2 gal pals to hit the town one night between C'mas and the New Year. I am still very much closeted in my town, but they have been very supportive and gave helped me take great steps forward as Julie. All I'm saying is - if you will, I will! ❤