Thursday, December 21, 2017

Girl's Day Out

Tuesday, this girl went out for the day.

After I did my face and my hair and slipped into my undies, I had second thoughts about the outfit I had put together on Monday and began formulating Plan B.

Hanging in my closet was a hunter green lace dress that I wore to my support group's Christmas party about 25 years ago. It was dressy, not over the top and very suitable for an office Christmas luncheon. I slipped it on and discovered that the lining was falling apart (strike one), the zipper was not working properly (strike two) and it looked like an old dress (strike three). I literally threw it away and went back to Plan A.

After I put on "the outfit," I realized it would have been a mistake if I had not worn it. It made me feel like a million bucks and a few years younger.

The weather was unseasonably warm (in the low 50's), so I was able to wear my blue trench coat instead of a heavy winter coat. Perfect because the trench coat grazed my knees. Although I was very comfortable wearing "the outfit" to the luncheon, I was less comfortable wearing it around the mall and my trench coat would hide "the outfit" while I went shopping before the luncheon.

First stop was the nail salon in the Waterbury mall to buy a gift certificate for my daughter. In the past, I avoided that mall, as well as all the other stores in Waterbury because I spent the first half of my life in Waterbury and I did not want to run into anyone I knew from my male life.

I realize that even if I did run into an acquaintance, they probably would not recognize me, but they might recognize my wheels. My license plate displays my ham radio callsign, so anyone who knows my call (most of my family and friends) might wonder who was the blond driving my car.

But I don't give a damn anymore. If I ran into an old friend or acquaintance, I would say "Hello" rather than run away. Then I  could cross another person off my Coming Out To Do List.

So I went to the mall, found the nail salon, purchased a gift certificate and no one batted an eye. And I did not run into an old friend or acquaintance.

I did not browse the mall because time was of the essence and I had two more stops to make before going to the luncheon.

I drove to Big Lots in Wallingford (the city where I was formerly employed and where the luncheon was being held) to purchase CD/DVD jewel cases. Big Lots has the best price for jewel cases (25 for $5) and since the store was on the way to the luncheon, I stopped by to stock up.

I picked up two packages of jewel cases and went to the cashier to pay up. The cashier was a 20-something fellow and I think he was flustered by my presence. Instead of spouting out the usual, "Were you able to find everything you wanted?," he said something that I did not understand, so I asked, "What did you say?"

He replied, "I meant to say 'Were you able to find everything you wanted?'"

I don't know if he was flustered because I was a crossdresser or a ravishing beauty or a ravishing crossdresser. Whatever... I was amused as he settled down and handled the rest of the transaction in a professional and pleasant manner.

I have my car serviced at the dealer where I bought it in Wallingford. Whenever I have my car serviced, the dealer always gives me a coupon for a free car wash.  So after Big Lots, I went to the car wash to use a coupon.

There is only a brief encounter with a human being (to turn in the coupon), so I did not expect any issues and there were none, although the human being I dealt with is the same guy who I have encountered during past car cleansing. Evidently, he did not recognize me, my car or my license plate.

It was now high noon. I was five minutes away from the luncheon location, so I would be fashionably late.

I arrived at the banquet hall, parked my car and as I walked to the entrance, I encountered J, who was also on her way into the hall. I confessed to her that I was nervous and she said I had nothing to be nervous about, but that did not comfort me much.

I entered the hall and almost every seat was full and the contents of every full seat looked up as I removed my trench coat and revealed "the outfit." There was a definite buzz in the air. R, the fellow who organized the luncheon greeted me and pointed out the empty seats that were available. I was always on very good terms with R, so I took the empty seat next to him at his table.

I was the only woman at that table, but I had worked with all the guys at the table for years. In fact, I worked with one fellow at two previous places of employment, so we have known each other for over 30 years. The other fellows were always supportive when I dressed en femme at work for Halloween, so I felt comfortable with the group. As I settled in, one of guys offered to buy me a drink ("A glass of pineau, please"). That never happened when I attended past Christmas luncheons en homme!

One hyphenated word described the luncheon: anti-climatic.

It was as if I showed up in boy mode. Except for J, who said she loved my skirt, no one mentioned "the outfit" or the fact that I was presenting as a woman. Everyone called me "Stan" and socialized with me as they always had in the past.

I was seated at the first table in the room, so everyone had to pass by me to get to the bar and the food. About half the attendees greeted me in one way or another — waving, shaking my hand, giving me a hug, asking me how I like retirement, etc. Folks I have known for a long time stopped by and spent a longer time conversing with me.

A few co-workers confirmed my suspicion that they suspected I was transgender, so it is likely that most of my co-workers shared the same thought. I guess being transgender did not make a difference.

What a great bunch of people I worked with!

Source: Metisu
Wearing Metisu (Source: Metisu)

Jeffrey Donovan
Jeffrey Donovan femulates in the 1997 film Catherine's Grove.


  1. So after all the angst about attending or not, femme or not, it was fine... anti-climactic is good,
    Let’s face it Stana, you are a woman in all the ways that matter and everyone who meets you knows that. Confident, girlie .. only a woman would have chosen that outfit dressing so young and confident.
    You are also a true inspiration and breath of fresh air.
    Thank you for sharing.

  2. I think it is a tribute to how much they like you Stan.

    1. Thank you for that nice comment, Connie.

  3. Great outing. How many were at the event?

    It seems logical that people who knew Stan for decades would treat Stan as they always treated Stan. Same person they knew for ever...just a somewhat different package. No reason to expect a different name than the one they used for you for ever. Most folks do not attach a gender to a name.

    You were at a table of men and as you know one difference between men and women is that women often comment on what others are wear and are generous with their compliments. Men NEVER say anything about how anyone is dressed unless it is a negative jestful quip. Of course, in today's supercharged climate a man has to be ultra careful if they even think about commenting on any aspect of a woman's appearance or attire. When I would get out I never had a comment from a man but almost without fail some woman would pass a compliment about my shoes, or dress or makeup.

    Congratulations and I hope you enjoyed that glass of wine. Were you treated to the wine because you were presenting as a woman or was it a nice gesture to a retired colleague no longer drawing a company pay check.

    Merry Christmas to you and your family.


    1. 8 tables seating 8 people each with very few empty seats, so 60 is a good estimate on the number of attendees.

      When I sat down, I said, "I needed a drink" as in I need a drink to settle my nerves and a good friend offered to get me something.

      Merry Christmas to you too, Pat!

  4. Dear Stana,

    Great experience! Thank You for sharing. From the lovely reactions to your appearance, and how much your ex-coworkers seem to have always liked you ... plus, of course ... your "new" look, I imagine you'll be invited to future events where retirees are welcome, and virtually everyone will be expecting to see you as an attractive, stylishly dressed woman.



  5. For outings like this - anti-climactic is always good! So glad it went well and you had a good time, Sweetie. You have given me a shot of courage for my upcoming outing on Dec 29th. Thanks!

  6. I'm glad people accepted you as "Stan" when you were dolled up to actually look beautiful instead of the dull "Plain and Ugly" coat, tie, and trousers presentation. It's way overdue men ditch that hackneyed appearance.

  7. with regard to the main theme: for what it's worth, these days many women are referred to by male-style abbreviations of their (pretty and feminine) given names i.e. sam for samantha, george for georgina, etc. they seem to like it, whereas i don't. but then again they are biological females living in a modern pc/equality world, whereas i am a transvestite living in an old-fashioned fantasy one. i didn't think about it at the time, but when i named myself i'm glad i chose something that couldn't be shortened into a "matey guy" version!

    regarding the bottom photo in this post: i first came across jeffrey donovan in the fairly recent (and excellent) action tv series "burn notice" where he played a resourceful spy trying to find out why his employers abruptly cleared his desk, whilst doing a "robin hood" and giving various local villains their come-uppance in the meantime. although donovan often had to play characters opposed from his usual cool tough-guy stance (including some real nerds at times) he never cross-dressed, so never gave any idea just how great he looked in drag - as i found out later, when i came across this pic of him from this pre-fame obscure film. i was so impressed that i bought a copy of the rare video release of it at great expense. however, i haven't got around to watching it yet as i'm afraid the 20-year old tape will get stuck in my video player!