Sandra Cole Will Be Missed

Sandra Cole died on Monday.

When I went to Fantasia Fair for the first time back in 2008, I attended a group session for trans people who were attending Fantasia Fair without their Significant Others (SOs). Titled "Cinderella - Alone in Paradise," the session was run by Sandra Cole, who according to the Fantasia Fair website "is a sexologist, nationally AASECT Certified as a sex educator and sex counselor, and for thirty-eight years has been faculty in University academic medicine. For the past 25 years she has been friend and colleague with the transgender community, working with transgender individuals and their partners on topics of sexual health, intimacy and relationships. Over a period of 20 years she has conducted scores of important group discussions at Fantasia Fair, where she experiences many wonderful friendships, amazing programs and creative events."

Six of us attended the session and we each poured our hearts out telling our stories about our relations with our SOs. I broke down near the end of my turn to speak. I am not going into details except to say that Sandra was very supportive of me and said that considering my circumstances (which she said were "difficult"), there is nothing wrong in what I do in order to be the real me. She made me feel great about what I do and I am so glad that I decided at the last minute to attend her group session instead of attending the "Fierce Evening Makeup" presentation.

The session went 30 minutes over its two-hour allotment and I think we all would have been willing to stay and talk things out longer except that we all had other commitments.

I will always be indebted to Sandra for running the group session and relieving me of some of the guilt that weighed me down for a very long time.

God bless you, Sandra Cole.

Wearing Nine west (Source: Nine West).

Thomas Kuc and Benjamin Flores, Jr. in a 2016 episode of television's Game Shakers. (Thank you Zoe!)