My 65th birthday is just around the corner and I have been doing a lot of thinking about how I am going to live the rest of my life after that landmark birthday:
- As a frustrated woman because I will continue to pretend to be a man most of the time or
- As a woman
I have accomplished a lot in my life while pretending to be a man, but imagine what I could have accomplished if I was not a frustrated woman.
Truth be told, I suspected I was a frustrated woman most of my life, but it was less than ten years ago when I had my epiphany and realized I really was a frustrated woman. So I am kind of off the hook about all those years before my epiphany, but plead guilty to dragging my feet (pun intended) since my epiphany.
It seems that I have been closely following Scarlett O'Hara's words, "Tomorrow is another day" as I procrastinate.
The thought of living the rest of my life as a woman thrills me. Every morning when I get dressed to pretend to be a man, I pretend I am dressing to live as a woman. As I put on my briefs, I picture myself slipping on a pair of panties. As I pull a T-shirt over my head, I picture myself clasping myself into a bra. As I pull on my socks, I picture myself carefully pulling on a pair of thigh-highs. Etcetera, etcetera.
Oh, how I wish it were true! And I have the power to make it come true.
My employer would not be an issue. Human resources says I can start coming to work as a woman anytime and my boss said she is more than ok with it. And my many Halloweens at work as a woman have prepared my co-workers, so they are already used to that girl and will not be surprised if I go full-time.
Home is where there is a catch. I have not broached the subject with my spouse and I have no idea how she would react.
For what it's worth, about a month ago, her and I are eating dinner, when out of the blue, she asks, "Do you think you might be transgender?"
I blurted out, "Duh."
And that was the end of the conversation. So she knows something is up with me and has been up with me for a long time.
I have to make the next move.
|Wearing Bergdorf Goodman.|