Tuesday, June 19, 2012

My Worst Nightmare

IMG_2862_cropped_web I was out femme all day Monday. (That’s me in the photo before going out.)

In the morning, I did outreach at a Human Sexuality class at Southern Connecticut State University.

After the class, the professor took us out to dine at a local New Haven eatery.

And after dining, I planned to return home. Before starting the car, I called home and discovered that my presence was not required at home as early as I had previously thought, so I had more time to spend out femme.

I pass a DressBarn on the way home, so I decided to stop and shop.

After shopping at DressBarn, I returned to my car and it won't start! The dashboard lights up, the radio plays, but when I turn the key, all I get is a loud ticking noise.

I have AAA, but I am a little concerned about dealing with AAA out femme.

As I am sitting in my car contemplating my next move and occasionally turning the ignition key to no avail, a small red pickup truck parks next to me just as I am cranking the ignition for the umpteenth time.

Two young fellows get out of the truck. They do not ask me if I needed help. Instead the driver walks to the front of my car and signals to me to pop the hood.

I gladly do so and the two of them poke around the engine compartment, but do not find anything amiss.

I have a set of jumper cables, so we tried jump starting the car, but that does not work.

Since my car has a manual transmission, they suggested rolling the car and popping the clutch to start it. (I had not done that in years and had completely forgotten about that trick.)

So they gave my car a little push. The car started rolling across the parking lot and I am trying to pop the clutch, but I am not getting the job done.

Just as I am about to run out of parking lot, I remember that I have to pop it into second gear, not first gear, and as soon as I did, the car started.

I waved my hand out the window to my two "good Samaritans" and headed straight home with my fingers crossed that nothing else would go wrong with my car.

I made it home without issue. This morning, I popped the clutch again to start the car and drove it to my dealer to get it fixed.

I always worried about having car problems when out femme. I thought it could be the worst thing that could happen. Now I am not so sure.

Maybe it is better to be a woman than a man when car problems strike. Would those two fellows be so quick to come to the rescue of a tall middle-aged guy as they were to come to the rescue of a leggy middle-aged blond?

I don't know and I am not anxious to find out again.


  1. Sounds like it turned out well for you. And a little exciting

  2. Ahhh! Been there a couple times Stana.
    One not so bad...one not so good which continued on to my dealings with AAA. One very good...one very bad.

  3. Wow. Glad you made it home safely. Weird things like that always happen in cars.

    Back in my younger days when I had hair down to my ass, I would occasionally have car issues. One day in the parking lots of a Bradlees, I was under the hood bypassing the starter with a wire to get it going. As I was doing that, a guy yelled out the window, "You better yell at your husband when you get home for making you work hard to get your car going!" I couldn't HELP but laugh!

    Another time a cop pulled me over for speeding. "License and registration Ma'am" he said to me, and saw that I was a guy. He was so embarrassed he just got back in the cruiser and drove off!

  4. AnonymousJune 19, 2012

    LOL! Yeah just never know do you! I've had two similar experiences femulating with car troubles. Once years ago I was on my way to a wedding at the Old TCNE in Wayland, and I was wearing a cream suit perfect for a wedding. Well needless to say, I get a flat tire. I no sooner get out of the car when a wonderful young gentleman offers his hand. And changes the tire for me. Also wanting to know if I would like to go for a coffee. I thank him told him that I was on my way to a wedding, and that I was faltered with his the offer. The last time was about 10 years ago and I was coming home from a girl friends house and was femulating, but just in casual go to friends house clothing. On my way home my brakes failed, fortunately I managed to not get into any kind of accident. Well this time there was no night in shining armor to come and rescue me. And being that I had to long of a drive to chance just using the E brake I opted to call AAA. Needless to say I was nervous. But what else was I to do. My girlfriends husband (My Best Friend) wasn't home and she doesn't drive. I called and a short while later the tow truck showed up. He hooked me up, and told me that he would give me a lift to where I needed to go. Home was my request and off we drove. I have to say, I think guys are a little clueless, or very polite to anyone female. We exchanged pleasantries, and small talk on the drive to my home. He unhooked me, offered me some advise as to what I should do, and went on his way.

    Those experiences plus others have convinced me, that one, we are our own worst enemies when it comes to being ourselves, and if we present in a manner to which people expect women to present. We are successful regardless if they figure it out or not, as we have presented as female in their minds and that's what matters most.

  5. AnonymousJune 19, 2012

    BTW, sounds like a solenoid switch.

  6. Hi Joan --- The battery was the culprit. It was the car's original battery with over 80,000 miles / 5 years of use.

  7. AnonymousJune 20, 2012

    I'd say so! Just enough to light the light but not enough to start the engine! Sounds like me in the morning, before I have my coffee!

    But what a great experience. Getting our feet wet in ways we aren't prepared for. Then to come out pretty much unscathed and a sense of accomplishment. It has to help reinforce who we are and that we are doing OK. You go girl!

  8. I had my worst nightmare while driving (WNWD), just a few months ago. I was dressed en femme, on my way to a walking trail where I was going to take a walk. I somehow lost control of my car and lo and behold, it slammed into a pole! Needless to say the car was totaled. Airbags got deployed and it was undrivable from that point onwards. People from nearby homes rushed to help me. Someone shouted: "Is she hurt?". I told them I was okay and I can manage so they went away. A few folks had funny looks on their face when they realized who "the lady" driving the car was. Since the tow truck and cops were en route, I quickly changed into drab mode fearing that I might have a difficult time with them.

    When I narrated this episode to my therapist at a later date, she said I did not have to worry too much as I live in a part of the country which is pretty wide open regarding gender variance- however, it was a harrowing experience overall. Looking back, I am glad I did not get hurt to the point of passing out and taken to a hospital en femme. Also that I did not hit anybody and it was not night time...I felt quite lucky to get out of this relatively unscathed (not counting the pain in my shoulders). A positive aspect of being en femme was that when the airbags deployed, I did not get a chest burn because of my forms and not much whiplash since my waist cincher provided great support! (At least there is something to cheer about after all LOL) My experience just tells me that I have to be extra careful anytime I am driving en femme. And same goes for you all ladies out there. Take care and stay safe!

  9. I'm a bit late responding to this post so please forgive me.

    I have to congratulate you on your selection for the photo of the side femulater, Stana. I especially love her breasts, the size is very womanly and rather convincing.

    As for your outfit, it fits my image of you very well, IMHO you're stunning!

    During my cross dressing life I've had a few experiences similar to the one you had with your car, AAA was called each time because no one came to my rescue. The AAA truck driver was sometimes cruel (younger) and other times (elder) not. I'm sure it has a lot to do with their maturity, the length of my skirt is always noticed.

    I'm glad you made it home without further incidents and "thank you" for the out-reach you do.

  10. My only driving while en femme problem was when I was pulled over for speeding. I did my best to talk my way out of the ticket but,while he was professional, he wrote me anyway. When he came back to the car with the citation I gave him a bit of gruff for having the nerve to write me for only doing 41 in a 30. Come on...give a girl a break.

    Stana...how do you make out driving in heels. I have an old car with manual that I have never driven in heels?


  11. Pat --- If my heels are over 4 inches high or if my heels are platforms, I switch to flats when I drive because space is getting a little two tight under the dashboard to manipulate the peddles. If my heels are 4 inches high or less, space is not an issue and I drive wearing my heels.