Monday was a half day en femme.
I attended the last day of the workshop en femme, then returned to my hotel to change into boy mode for my trip back home. As a result, I did not have much interaction with the public at large en femme.
I can look back and laugh at myself now, but you know what I worried about the whole time I was in Manhattan? I feared that while I was walking around town, someone would recognize me as a guy, grab my wig, and run off with it! (I brought an extra wig just in case.)
The photo shows me dining with Prometheus at the Rink Bar restaurant in the heart of Rockefeller Center.
In conclusion, I found myself.
Everything just fell into place.
* Getting cold feet about attending the workshop en femme
* Phoning the workshop to find out if they had any issues about my attendance en femme.
* Getting their green light of support to attend in whatever way I felt most comfortable.
* Finding a group of fellow attendees, who did not shun me, but respected me.
* The group's respect motivated me to be completely up front with them about my transness.
* My planned "show 'n' tell" became a natural conduit for coming out.
* The group's respect seemed to grow ten-fold after I came out.
* Coming out freed all my stress about the workshop; I really let myself go and apply myself fully in the workshop...
* Which permitted me to get a lot out of the workshop that I will apply in my career as a writer.
There was always the possibility that something could go wrong, but it did not. Maybe I was just lucky, maybe I was well-prepared, maybe some higher power was watching over me, I dunno.
But I do know that integrating all of me at the workshop permitted me to integrate myself outside the workshop, too. I was myself throughout the day rather than trying to impersonate someone else. And integrated as myself, I felt very confident about myself.
An example: one morning after I dressed en femme, I adjusted the thermostat in my hotel room and somehow managed to shutdown the system. Nothing I tried could bring the system back to life, so I called the front desk and they said they would send someone up. In the recent past, I would have panicked and changed into boy mode as quickly as possible. But, that morning, I stayed in girl mode. When the maintenance man showed up, I interacted with him without concern or nervousness and he reacted in a positive manner.
Another example: Flag down a cab wearing a dress and high heels and you usually get the first available cab. Now that's power and it just added to my confidence!
I am so happy that I did what I did. It changed me for the better by making myself whole and more confident, so confident that I no longer fear being outed, nor do I fear coming out to anyone.