Friday, May 31, 2024

Stuff: Blending In

By J.J. Atwell

To blend or not to blend?

Yes, that is the question. Do you dress to blend in or to stand out? I typically dress to blend in. But first, I guess we need to define just what it means to “blend in.” So, let’s answer one more question.

Who are we blending in to?

That should be obvious. We are dressing like GGs would dress for a particular venue. Let’s look around and see what they typically wear. That varies according to many things including the location and the time of day, as well as the season. It’s a lot of work blending in. 

A CD would look a bit out of place wearing a fancy dress when all the GGs are wearing jeans and a sweater. So, perhaps without intending, the CD would be dressing to stand out. 

How do you dress?

You could probably tell from the pictures accompanying my Stuff posts, I try to dress to blend in. I do that because I’m most comfortable when I’m not attracting attention. It’s a personal thing. I’m basically an introvert no matter how I’m dressed. 

But there is another consideration – the company I’m keeping. It’s axiomatic that the ability of a group of CDs to “pass” depends on the least passable member. Once people notice one, they will take a closer look at the rest of the group. I try not to be that CD. Yes, it’s a lot of pressure, but it’s also a lot of fun. There is so much Stuff to consider when you go out en femme

At this point, I’m sure people are wondering how a CD might fit in with a group of GGs. Would the CD stand out as much? Again, I think that depends on how well the CD blends in with the GGs. But I think the odds are better for the CD not to attract attention in that situation. I’d love to hear about your experience and perhaps Stana can find space to publish them.

I’ll be back

I’ll be back with more Stuff in the next installment. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff, so let me know what you would like to read about.

Source: Bebe
Wearing Bebe

1960 National Variety Artists Halloween Ball in New York City.
Femulating at the 1960 National Variety Artists Halloween Ball in New York City.


  1. Blending in? No way, José. I like to wear floral pattern dresses and dresses in general. A lot of the time I'm the only one wearing a dress. But do I try to pass as a woman as I talk? No, my voice is quite deep as I sing second bass.
    And I do get compliments from women with the dresses I wear. And I don't get any strange looks from anybody either.


  2. I also dress to blend. When I go out, it's always with GG friends, so I try to be one of the girls. I do prefer skirts and dresses, and as such I cause much "stress" to my Sister Friends. They accuse me of trying to make them look "frumpy" (lol)

  3. AnonymousMay 31, 2024

    JJ here - thanks for your comments. I'm happy that you can go out and be yourself in whatever you want to wear. I'm not quite that kind of CD but of course we are all different.

  4. AnonymousMay 31, 2024

    I'm with John on this one. As a child of the 1950's I observed women never wore pants in my neighborhood. Little girls were confined to dress and skirts; not only in school and church but at playtime. I can understand a woman shedding such attire for the functionality of pants. As a guy it was always single color blue-jeans and a tee shirt. For me I can never wrap my head around wearing the same dull clothes I wore in my youth. When I go to the store I see women wearing camouflage; none stand out. I read zebras huddle together in a group because the stripes make it difficult for predators to single out one animal. It's a big mass of nothing. If I want to express my "feminine side" why would I want to hide among the mass? As a kid I was artistic. As an adult I like to grow colorful flowers. If I am going to draw attention by the fact I am six foot and 200 pounds I'd rather be seen in a floral knee length pretty dress than a pair of women's pants in a boring color and nondescript top.

    1. I say pants have their place, such as going up on the roof to replace shingles. And in cool weather I might wear a man's coat and tie on Sunday mornings for the sake of variety. If I wear pants it will be of the men's kind.


  5. AnonymousMay 31, 2024

    Looking at the picture from the 1960s reminds me of how dolled up one needed to be back then, also jumping ahead a few years did you see there is a new biography out on Candy Darling, another queen like figure from the femulating past

  6. AnonymousMay 31, 2024

    I go out as Lily several times a week, mainly alone, so my goal is to be as anonymous as possible. My one fault is that I wear a skirt or a dress; most women here wear pants.Apart from this, I blend in as well as I can.

    Why be different and wear a skirt? I spent the first fifty years of my life in pants, with a skirt or dress tried on occasionally, so I'm not going to ruin the rest of my life by wearing pants.

    Most of my social interactions are with my female friends, one or two suggesting that if I want to be a "modern" woman, >I should wear pants.
    I'm going to be as womanly as possible, albeit perhaps a bit old-fashioned, but still blending in sa well as possible.


  7. AnonymousMay 31, 2024

    living in a warm climate you now see that most men have given up-shorts all the time. and ,unfortunately,the majority of women are dressing down. is this to assure their conformity?. as another writer pointed out-I wore pants most of my life so why now? not only do I wear dresses but also go for a lot of "sparkle". and get mucho compliments from women plus some men. feel tempted to suggest to the gals that they would be happier if they strut their stuff

  8. One of the silver linings of being a stay-at-home CD is that I can wear whatever I want without worrying if I blend in or not, so it's pantyhose and 5" stilettos with every outfit for me. But I often wonder if I would prefer to trade in the heels & hose for a bit more of a "drab" feminine wardrobe for the opportunity to blend in...