Wednesday, April 8, 2020

My Trans Days of Visibility

Diana wrote this about Trans Day of Visibility (TDoV), “For those of us who have transitioned it really doesn’t make too much sense, for us everyday is a TDoV. For those who crossdress what are they supposed to do, get dressed up and walk up and down the a street?”

Well, yeah.

I never walked up and down the street on TDoV. In fact, I don’t recall dressing pretty at all on the official TDoV. My TDoV occurred on October 31, when I crossdressed as authentically as possible and went to work. 

First two times I did it (in 2000 and 2003), the office was having costume contests, so I had a legitimate excuse. Then I did five years in a row (2012-2016) without a safety net, that is, there were no costume contests.

What was I thinking?

First time, I encountered knowing smiles from a couple of my female co-workers as well as comments from other co-workers hinting that I looked too good for a one-shot female impersonation. So right from the get-go, I realized that I was outing myself, but I did not care. In fact, I was very open about it. 

More than once, co-workers asked, “Who did your makeup?” I could have said my wife or daughter, but instead, I admitted that I did my own makeup. 

One time, my pantyhose developed a run and I halted its progress by applying some clear nail polish to the run. When I mentioned it to the woman in the next cubicle, she remarked, “How did you know to do that?”

After my fourth or fifth on-the-job femulation, my wife commented, “Don’t your co-workers suspect something?” I figured my co-workers were idiots if they did not have some suspicions and that was confirmed when I finally came out to my boss and she responded, “I'm not surprised.” 

And it was probably not a surprise to my other co-workers. After retirement, I was invited back to the company Christmas party and no one blinked when I showed up en femme. They socialized with me as if everything was normal — Stan is in drag again — nothing to see here. 

So my Trans Days of Visibility were an unmitigated success.

Source: New York & Company
Wearing New York & Company

Sadri Alisik and Yusuf Sezgin femulating in the 1970 film Fistik Gibi, a remake of the 1964 film Fistik Gibi Masallahthe Turkish version of Some Like It Hot. You can view both films on YouTube — the 1964 version and the 1970 remake.


  1. I am of the opinion that any day that any one of us gets out and about and has any positive encounters with the civilian population is a good day for all of us. We are slowly but surely getting to the point where no one is either surprised or offended to encounter one of us. At worst we are accepted as a bit of curiosity. Most often it is primarily a non-issue for others to interact with us as we gradually learn to overcome our concerns, fears and drawbacks and allow ourselves the freedom to do what we enjoy.

  2. Due to the shutting down of every facet of American society, our office has been closed to the public. Just over half of our staff has been working from home and I'm part of the "still in office" crew. As as a morale booster someone decided that we needed a theme for the week. Yesterday was "twins day."
    We chose partners and I suggested a theme of "Harry Potter" for our group. Easy, everyone has a white shirt, black pants and I supplied neckties. The ulterior motive was I'd be Hermione. I had the pleasure of being fully dressed at work on April 7, 2020. I wore a long black skirt, black knee highs and a white blouse with well padded and form filled bra beneath.

    Today is "Wacky outfit and hair day."

    I don't know what to wear.


  3. Good for you Heather!

  4. I think Stana you were lucky to be in a workplace that had a strong accepting culture.

    You seem to not have suffered any harassment or HR issues with your once a year dress up

    I am sure society has become more accepting with more and more famous people being Gay which translates to more acceptance of cross dressers. Not that being a CD means your Gay.

    Whats funny is the women in your workplace must have been jealous as you looked better than most of them. I wonder if any thought of upping their game on Halloween to compete against you?

    "Damn, that Stana I will out heel, out dress you and make sure all the men look at me and not you"

    Office women all want be the one with most admirers


  5. Hi Stana,

    Nice to read that you had a nice moment with your co-workers. Our world is changing and the mentality also.

    Thanks to share your story which also contribute to all that movement.


  6. Brian / RachelApril 17, 2020

    I finally accepted my gender about 10 years ago. I explain it to my friends and colleagues as "I'm the same product as I've always been. I just realize that I was shipped from the factory in the wrong box."

    After living for decades as a man, I just don't want to deal with the hassle of transitioning, so sometimes I present as male and sometimes female. Fortunately, my gender dysphoria is fairly weak, so that's sufficient to keep me sane and happy.

    My approach to public presentation is to emulate women of my own age group and social class and appropriateness of my attire to the setting. No genetic woman wears a cocktail dress to the grocery store, for instance. I don't usually "pass," but I seldom call attention to myself, which is the whole point: just to live my life as myself.