Thursday, October 27, 2016

Shopping Like a Woman

Femulate reader Missy wrote, "Since you seem to me to be so very comfortable with who you are it would be great to read more about you. For instance, how do you maintain your confidence when you shop for clothes, shoes, ... I am always so intimidated I have ended up buying everything but pantyhose online and consequently not always getting what I want."

Shopping en femme is so much better than shopping online.

If an item doesn't fit, you put it back on the rack and try on another size. If an item doesn't look good on you, you put it back on the rack and try on something else. You don't have to deal with the time and expense that returning an online purchase entails.

Shopping en femme also is an affirmation of my feminine gender. Shopping among other women, I blend in and become another woman. Typically, the other women are concentrating on shopping and not on me. They may be aware of my physical presence, but will assume that I am just another girl hunting for a bargain.

While browsing through the racks, I always encounter other women doing the same. They may look up momentarily to see who the other bargain hunter is and when they don't recognize me, they return to the hunt. Sometimes they may offer a friendly smile or a pleasant "hello." Rarely am I the target of daggers aimed at a man in a dress.

My last shopping experience was typical. I spent about an hour in the Misses department of the local JCPenney's perusing the racks and going back and forth to the dressing room to try on my finds. During that hour, I encountered a lot of customers doing the same and I noticed none of the other bargain hunters paying any attention to me.

However, I did not go unnoticed. A few people who were not busy shopping noticed me. A woman, who had finished shopping and waiting to pay for her finds, checked me out while she was in line at the cashier. I also noticed two saleswomen checking me out.

Perhaps they were just checking me out because they were impressed with the way I look. Or maybe they suspected I was en femme and were trying to confirm their suspicions.

Whatever... although some salespeople noticed me, I have never had a salesperson give me a hard time. Their job is to make a sale, so if the customer looks like a duck, then treat the customer like a duck and everything will be ducky.

While on the subject of looking like a duck, while I am shopping en femme, I try to be as womanly as possible. I concentrate on carrying myself like a woman, speaking like a woman, acting like a woman. It is no time to fall back into my guy ways. And after making a concerted effort to pass, it begins to come naturally and I have to concentrate less and less on passing and just enjoy being a woman.

 As I was looking through the racks at JCPenney, a middle-aged woman (probably younger than I) approached me and asked, "Can I ask you a question?"

I had no idea what she was going to ask ("What time is it?" "Where did you buy your shoes?" "Are you a tranny?"). I girded my loins, smiled and agreed to answer her question.

"You're dressed fashionably, so I'd like your opinion about a pair of slacks I was thinking about buying."

Wow! I certainly did not see that coming!

We discussed the merits of the slacks. I did not like what she had picked out and suggested something with a bolder pattern. She admitted that she really did not like what she had picked out and liked my suggestion better.

I pointed out a skirt with a pattern similar to what I had in mind. Her eyes lit up as she said, "I saw slacks with that pattern. Now I just have to find them again! Thank-you for your help."

"Good luck," I said.

Then I took a deep breath.

“Oh, my God!” I screamed to myself, "I am a woman!"

(Caveat Emptor: This post is a repurposing of posts from the past.)

Source: Intermix
Wearing Intermix.

James Charles
CoverGirl spokesperson James Charles


  1. Stana I continue to have very much the same type of experience as you and find that it relates so much to confidence in the way you carry yourself and have that shine through. Regardless of what people think you are have them see a happy and content soul who is being themselves...

  2. I was shopping en femme at Pennys and while stepping out of my cubicle in the women's dressing room, another woman stopped me and asked for my opinion on the fit of the slacks she was trying. I suggested a different style. Being asked my fashion opinion made my day!


  3. Stana, The ladies and myself have totally agreed with your last statement for years!!! and we also believe that you are one tough feminine class act to follow. We really, truely admire you for the woman that you are and we wish you success in everything that you do in the future. You inspire us in ways that you will never know so as we always say "YOU GO GIRL" and don't let anyone or anything stop you from being totally feminine in any aspect of your life that you desire. Your Sincerely, S.A.S.

  4. Stana, You and Joanna have said very much what I find when shopping en femme. Whether I'm read or not really doesn't matter ... I'm just accepted as one of girls. What a wonderful compliment to be asked your opinion by another woman!

    Claire Cook

    1. It sure makes my day when it happens, Claire!

  5. Stana, You and Joanna have nailed it for me about shopping en femme. I don't know (and really don't care) if I am read or not ... just being treated as another woman really makes my day. (Not to mention trying on clothes...) And what a wonderful compliment to be asked you opinion by another woman .. thanks!

    1. Yes ... not to mention trying on clothes!!! LOL

  6. Agree 100%.

    Prior to this week, I had tried on clothes while dressed twice, both time last year (one time out of town, the other Halloween).

    This past week my wife went away for three days so during that time I had my nails done (a first, but in drab), a makeover at Sephora (second time, but this time I took notes), went to a wig store dressed (bought a new wig that I love), AND I got to try on about 50 dresses (and bought two, and wore one of them out of the store).

    I got lucky because I screwed up my courage to ask the SA at my nearby Nordstrom whether I could try on dresses after my makeover. After checking with her manager, she said it was OK. I got her business card with her email, and told her what day and time I would be in, and my size range (14 - 16). She emailed me AND called me to ask what style and lengths I wanted, so she could pull dresses for me when I came in.

    So after my makeover, I went to the dresses area, where another SA knew about my coming (my contact wasn't working). She starts a room for me, and hangs up 15 dresses of various lengths, styles, and colors, and I'm in heaven. The SA gives me feedback, helps me with zippers, and is amazingly positive.

    I couldn't decide between two dresses so I had the SA hold the two, and I came back the next day after the wig store to decide. In the meantime, the store had gotten a new shipment so this SA had pulled another 10 or so dresses to try on. I narrowed it down to three choices, and modeled each for the SA who was helping me and another SA who was there. We all agreed on the order of the three, and I bought two of them.

    Plus, they said anytime I want to come back, I am most welcome, because they enjoyed helping me.

    So because I was brave enough to ask, and because I was at a store that prides itself in customer service, I had the time of my life, and the possibility of doing it again in the future.

    So shopping while dressed is a big thumbs up.