Monday, October 24, 2016

Best Fit

My mother raised my sister and me in the 1950s, while my father worked two jobs to finance our raising. With my male role model out of the picture (or out of focus) most of the time, my mother became my role model and as a result, instead of raising a son and a daughter, she raised two daughters.

The older daughter (me) was her favorite and received more attention; I was babied, pampered and spoiled, whereas my sister often had to fend for herself. As a result, I turned out to be very feminine, whereas my sister was more independent and assertive.

During the 1950s, "there were two distinct shapes, the waif like gamine figure epitomized in movies by Audrey Hepburn and the more womanly hourglass figure represented by Grace Kelly, with tiny waists, padded hips and circle skirts." (Source:

My mother was in the latter group and I found myself in that group. too! I assume extra estrogen is responsible for my hourglass figure and predisposed me to embrace the feminine environment I found myself in.

I never felt that I was a female trapped in a male body. Instead, I was "me" trapped in the expectations of what being a "male" was all about.

Although I embraced some things considered "male," I also rejected many "male" things, while embracing many "female" things. As a result, friends and enemies consider me to be effeminate.

I never tried to be feminine just as I never tried to be macho, but society branded me "effeminate" nonetheless. I was just being "me," which just happens to be considered “feminine” in the eyes of today's society.

My birth certificate reads "male," as does my driver's license and all of the other official paperwork I collected during my life. That is just a convenience because I have presented as a male most of my life, but the truth is that presenting as a woman is a better fit for "me."

Actually, it is a perfect fit.

Source: Haute Business
Helen wearing Romwe blouse, Ann Taylor skirt, Nordstrom scarf and sunglasses,
Michael Kors bag and watch and Christian Louboutin shoes.

Rafael Torres
Rafael Torres femulates in the 2009 video Satin Dreams.


  1. Es hermoso sentir y vestir como niƱa,es fascinante ,las puntillas,el color rojo,fucsia y rojo==las blusitas de tiras finitas y con brillos!! Y ademas lucir leggins con balerinas al tono!!

  2. ...and there is nothing better than simply being yourself Stana.

    1. It's a lot better than leading a double life!

  3. Stana, What a wonderful post. My sentiments exactly. So well said.

  4. Stana, if it fits then do it.

  5. When I checked out Helen's site, I saw the "me" I might have been if the dice had landed the way I would have liked. She looks to be a real woman all the way down from well-styled top to pointy toe.. She really sums up what being female is all about. Lucky lady!

  6. Stana, thanks for saying it so well!

  7. Yes Stana - "you" are a perfect fit!

  8. Can I ask is there anywhere I could buy the film Satin Dreams?