Monday, January 4, 2016

Femulating Loves Company

A little company in the real world can go a long way in building your confidence for solo excursions. 

By Tami

A long, long time ago, I can still remember that going out as Tami alone was pretty scary. So I found a kind soul whose business was helping someone like me shop. She specialized in crossdressers. She did one’s makeup and hair, and in general, got one to the mall! I spent a couple days with her and she was constantly telling me how well I was doing.

In a few months, I gave it another try with even better success. We did the obligatory shopping, plus dinners out, museums and attractions in the area. I even met a few of her friends. My confidence was building quickly. Can you say hubris?!

In the following years, I started asking for appointments with women who were wardrobe consultants and had never considered helping someone like me. (I was rarely turned down). With an explanation by phone or a sincere email or both, I made appointments with these women in different cities (in my travels) and really had a great time improving my selection of clothes and personal style, as well as getting to know them.

I found that it took no time at all for us to warm up on the initial meet and have a fun day! In following visits, our relationships usually went beyond shopping to meeting for coffee in the morning just to talk, doing lunch or dinners. I have become friends with several of these women and stay in touch all the time.

One friend no longer does the wardrobe thing and instead, she is very involved in fashion shows,and productions of other events. So we have met up at different locations such as Phoenix Fashion Week to see the show and go behind the scenes to meet the many people she knows working the show. Very fun and the models are so pretty!

The moral to the story is that my seeking help or a partner to get me out made it possible to develop confidence, meet others and begin some long-term friendships that otherwise would not have happened. I often count my blessings that this group of gals is so accepting of me and willing to count me as someone who is fun to be with. And the circle is still growing!

Source: Ann Taylor
Wearing Ann Taylor.

20-something femulator
A 20-something femulator takes time out from shopping for a selfie.


  1. My experience mirrors Tami's.
    For years I was unable to be honest with salesladies about what my real needs were - until finally a counsellor I'd been seeing concluded by saying "I don't normally give advice but in your case I'll make an exception. Why don't you "go for it"?
    By this she meant that I should try and equip myself as best I could with a good wig, suitable clothes etc etc to try and look as good as I could possibly look - and then to try going out in public. Because, as she said, "If you don't, all this will remain a fantasy and you'll never know if you could "pass" in the real world".
    Once I'd made up my mind to follow her advice, one of my first calls was to a bra shop that specialised in bra fitting for post-mastectomy ladies. I explained over the phone that I had been diagnosed as TS and that I needed a bra and breast forms. I asked if I could have an appointment for a fitting.
    I arrived at the shop to be met by 2 ladies (no turning back now). They sat me down and over tea, I told them what I was about and after an hour-long chat, they were sympathetic to my cause. In fact, they couldn't have been nicer or more friendly.
    After successfully equipping me with breast forms and bras that fitted me, one of them later accompanied me on a shopping trip and she's become a friend. Prior to this, I'd never had a 'girlfriend' before and we can talk about things that are off the agenda with women I encounter as a man.
    I can fully understand that this approach is not easy for someone who has not disclosed their "secret" to anyone. However, I believe that being honest with salesladies is the only way to go. They've heard all the 1001 variations of "this is for my sister who's housebound & who happens to be about my size" etc etc.
    Women are naturally compassionate and less judgmental than men, especially if they believe that underneath the male exterior there's a 'sister'.

    1. I think money plays a part --- I have had success with male sales reps, too.

  2. Helpful! i've come close to doing this...good inspiration, thank you!
    i agree women are less judgemental. The guys just find Stana so attractive! :)