Saturday, June 14, 2014

One Person's Journey to Womanhood – Part 22

By Monica M

In October 2013, my wife and I went to Boston. I went on the one-day course that Ginger held just outside Boston. There were only three of us taking the course. Ginger knew that I was transgender and it was not a problem; I was far from the first transgender client that she had.

We had her full and undivided attention for the whole day. I tried on lots of outfits and was given feedback by Ginger and the others. It was such a valuable and wonderful experience. The course was held in a really nice country inn in Tyngsboro.

I had had spent a day with Ginger earlier in the week getting my colors and Fashion Fit Formula done. She also took me on a shopping outing and organized a bra fitting, a facial, and a tutorial on wig care. Ginger is an amazing resource to have in your life.

My BFF and evolutionary sister extraordinaire, BethAnn also lives in Boston, so we got to spend time with her and her husband. She and I even organized to have a MAC makeover at the same time, followed by lunch. How girly is that!

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BethAnn and I in Boston before we rented a car and head off to see Ginger.

In April 2014, I set off for Denver (having done the obligatory confidence build-up in San Francisco) to do Teacher Training 2 for the second time.

I notice now that after all the work I have done on myself and the techniques that I have practiced, nothing scares me any more... not being read, not going into the ladies' room in public places. I am even happy to get in the line at the ladies' room now. This is something I would not even have dreamed about 18 months ago.

Teacher Training 2 was very good. It had about ten women taking the course and as usual with AFP ladies, they treated me wonderfully. Unfortunately, BethAnn could not make the course, but my dear, dear friend Amrita was there. She brings so much joy to my heart. She is such a wonderful person. Truly, she has the heart of a Buddha! We hung around together a lot and really enjoyed each other’s company.

This is a picture of her having a margarita (well it was my margarita!) on the night that the course finished. We had gone to a local Mexican restaurant. Amrita had also joined me at dinner with Kathe Perez earlier in the week and the two got on very well. It was so sweet completing the circles in some way! Amrita is very keen for me to go to Japan to meet her AFP group and to work with Japanese transgenders.

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At this Teacher Training, I learned to practice a new technique: opening the heart. The idea is to open your heart and let your innate femininity shine out. This technique should really help me pass more effectively as people will respond (if only unconsciously) to my feminine essence and not be distracted by the male signals, large hands, etc. It will be an interesting experiment, if nothing else!

So this is the end of my tale. I am accepted by my AFP friends as being one of them. I have wonderful girlfriends, who I know I can rely on for support. I have a weekly heart circle call with about five or six close female friends, who treat me like any other woman. By my definition, I have succeeded in my journey. I really love being a woman, for me it is a whole other and joyful world.

Having been the first TG into AFP and FP, I look forward to knowing who the first transgender is to take Mama Gina's Course and how it went.

I have tried to show here one of the many ways of becoming the woman you desire, there are plenty of ways of achieving the dream. Suicide should not even be considered an option. There are lots of people out there who are happy to befriend you and relate to you as a woman and that brings a lot of joy to life.

My final message: say “no” to suicide. There is a path that is waiting for you; it is probably just around the corner. Wait for it!

In closing, I would like to thank the many who have helped me on my journey.

My wife for supporting and loving me and always believing in me and negotiating a settlement where she can keep her man and I can stop being a man!

Stana for giving me the space to pontificate here.

Rachael Jane for helping me change my operating system.

Ginger for kindling a new perspective on clothes.

BethAnn, Amrita and Mei for being so kind to me and supporting me in my attempts to really be myself.

Kathe for my voice!

Don for showing me the woman inside me.

Alex, Laurie, Sally, Ella, Cynthia, Virginia, Elena, Su, Marlese, Anna, Maria, Bella, Elisa, and all the other women, too numerous to mention from AFP an FP, who have gone out of their way to help me become the woman of my dreams.

And to finish, a photo from Don of how I now see myself.

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Thank you all.

Over and out!

And finally, a word from our sponsor! :)

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(Part 21 of One Person’s Journey to Womanhood appeared here.)

 

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Source: Nordstrom

Wearing St. John Collection.

 

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Andrej Pejić

14 comments:

  1. You've found the key to dealing with your gender dysphoria while not needing to transition. Congratulations Monica and thank you for sharing your story here. Many others will find hope and inspiration from it....joanna

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    1. Thank you Joanna for your sincere and positive comments.

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  2. Monica, thank you for sharing your journey, a wonderful story of hope, love and perseverance.

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    1. You are welcome Linda, thank you for reading.

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  3. Dear Monica,

    Thank You for sharing your experiences with us here on Stana's blog. I'd like to send you a private email. When you get a chance, please email me at ...

    rinfp@yahoo.com

    Please indicate in the subject or body of the email that it is from Monica M. (in case, like me, your email address does not contain your femme name).

    Thank You,

    Sheila
    Tampa, FL.

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    1. Thank you Sheila, I have sent you an email.

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  4. Why do you cover your eyes?

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  5. Because somehow he thinks covering his eyes will prevent someone from recognizing him. Like I said before, I wish you zero harm, but lord you do need a large dose of common sense.

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  6. I agree that the technique of opening your heart and truly being who you are is very effective. People react very strongly to non-verbal messages.

    I love your portrait, I wish you didn't need to cover your eyes.

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    1. Thank you for your support and feedback Iw....and thank you for reading my jottings!

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  7. Thank you Monica for sharing these intimate details from your life. You are a good person and you write well...It would be nice if you had your own bog but I understand that the responsibility for operating and updating a blog calls for a commitment that not all can handle. In the meantime I would encourage you to share your milestones and adventures with us through Stana's generosity.

    Regards,
    Pat

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    1. Thank you Pat, I appreciate your feedback. Please keep in touch.

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  8. Thanks Monica for taking us on your life journey. Every trans person takes on a unique path to living with their true identity.

    You have mentioned that trans people should just say NO to suicide. However, the reality is a lot more complicated than that. You are probably one of the lucky few who have found acceptance at home and elsewhere and without being judgmental, what you have described is a charmed life. Those who attempt suicide are the ones who are kicked to the curb by their families and loved ones and don't really have means to support themselves. A report was recently published on suicides by TG and gender non-conforming population and it speaks of those same issues. The report can be found here:
    http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/AFSP-Williams-Suicide-Report-Final.pdf

    I have talked with trans people in their 20s and their issues are completely different than that of older trans individuals who are already in relationships/with a job/children. May be it will help to be a big brother or a big sister to a trans person in need and help them through difficult times so that we can reduce suicide rates.
    Wish you all the best!

    ~ Jess

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    1. Thank you Jess for your very insightful contribution: you make a very valid point indeed! The more we can do to help our tribe survive, the better.

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