Even though I pass very well and I get flattering comments from both guys and other T-girls, this is only when I am at a T-girl club. Outside of the club, I always 'know' that I am not a natural female and this reflects in my looking nervous; in turn, the lack of confidence then makes me more easy to read!
I also go for a glamorous look, which once again, is great at a T-girl club, but natural girls don't wear heels and a glamorous dress to buy a quart of milk. But without the glamorous additions, I feel less female and more drab and therefore, more easily read. I also hate looking dowdy as a girl as the fun (to me anyway) is dressing up and looking 'sparkly' and glamorous. Else wise, I might as well stay a boy!
I know this is all due to confidence, but it would be lovely to just be Emma and go out to lunch without all the worry. If you have any ideas to reduce the anxiety then that would be great.
Been there, done that, and still doing that!
I don't dress glamouously unless the occasion calls for it, but I do dress very nicely (heels, dress, jewelry, makeup, etc.) when I go out. As a result, I sometimes am overdressed for the venue in which I find myself.
Like you, I worried that overdressing was a dead giveaway that I was a tran. So I avoided going places when I was overdressed, which in effect, kept me out of a lot of places.
Six years ago, I was dressed to the nines (very sparkly) to attend a Christmas party. On the way to the party, I realized that I forgot to buy munchies for the party (all the attendees were supposed to bring some food or drink to share).
There was a Stop & Shop in the neighborhood where I could buy something. I was way overdressed for Stop & Shop, but I convinced myself that I had a perfect excuse for being overdressed. Also, I recalled in the past seeing other overdressed women in Stop & Shop while (I assumed) they were on their way to or from a wedding or graduation or some other dressy event (or maybe they were trans, too).
Although my confidence was shaky, my mind was set and I went into Stop & Shop, picked out some baked goods, paid the cashier, and was out the door without an issue. No one paid any special attention to me, no one pointed at me, no one laughed at me. It was all so anti-climactic.
That episode did wonders for my confidence. After that I stopped worrying about being "overdressed." I go where I please and if I think about it, I just tell myself that I am an appropriately dressed office girl running an errand for the boss or somesuch excuse.
You say, "you pass very well," so that just makes it easier.
So just do it --- after a few forays out in the real world, you will be amazed how confident and comfortable you will feel.
You go, girl!
Need advice concerning femulation, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Overdressing vs. Passing