Monday, August 16, 2010

Failures in Femulation : Bad Hair Daze

stana_in_ryan_by_noriko This is the first in a series about the major errors femulators make in their presentations that detract from their femulations, in my humble opinion. In addition to pointing out the\ errors, I will explain how to avoid and/or correct them.

Caveat emptor: I have no formal training in the arts related to femulation. However, I do have over 45 years experience practicing those arts and have become so adept at them that I pass more often than not.

Inexpensive wigs are attractive to femulators because they are inexpensive. Their attractiveness ends there because a cheap wig by any other name is still a cheap wig.

When you wear a cheap wig, there is no fooling anyone that the hair on your head is fake. And when people see that you are wearing a wig, they might examine you more closely and find other clues that give away your natal gender.

I have owned a few cheap wigs in my time and I have photos wearing those cheap wigs that convinced me to go upscale in the wig department. “Upscale” meant spending $99 rather than $49 for a wig.

It was an improvement, but not good enough. A $99 wig was still relatively inexpensive for a wig (it was just more expensive "cheap" wigs).

Also, I did not know what wig was best for me. I tried different styles, different lengths, and different colors, but always avoided blond shades and short lengths.

I avoided blonds because I thought that blond was oh so drag. All the boys who wanted to be girls wanted to be blond girls.

Also, I avoided short lengths because I thought my head was too big to be properly covered with a short wig.

A trip to a pro convinced me otherwise.

Annually, a local wig shop hosts a meeting of my support group. A few years ago, I was the hostess, which meant that I showed up early to bring the refreshments. I had no intention of buying a wig; it was just another opportunity to be out en femme, so I was happy to be the hostess and not necessarily a wig customer.

We had an excellent turn-out and new wigs were flying out the door throughout the evening. As things were winding down, the wig shop owner, Kathy, said it was my turn. She sat me down at a mirror and went to the back room to fetch a wig she thought would be perfect for me.

A few minutes later, she returned with a short blond wig.

I thought to myself, "Oh no; she's is making a mistake."

She pulled the wig over my head, finger-combed it a bit, and then let me look in the mirror.

In a very soft voice, I said, "Oh, my god!"

The wig looked absolutely fabulous on me and I did not think twice about purchasing it.

That wig (“Ryan” by Noriko) cost about $333, but it was worth every penny. It pushed my femulation skills up a few notches.

I lost count how many times people complimented me about my hair and how many times those same people were shocked to find out I was wearing a wig. (I never received such reactions wearing my $99 wigs.)

So the bottom line is (1) seek out a professional wig seller for advice concerning the best wig color, style and length for you and (2) be willing to spend much more than $99 for a wig.


  1. Amen Stana.

    There are a few things in life that it simply does not pay to cheap out on.

    Legal advice, shoes and wigs come immediately to mind.

    Looking forward to the rest of the series. Thanks!

  2. I love your short blond wig (Ryan). When I first saw your picture with that wig, I thought you were a woman. Keep up the good work with the blog, it means so much to so many of us.

  3. I agree with everything you wrote! I think there are a number of reasons this wig works so well for you; the quality, the color suits your skin tone, it fits your head well, and most of all, I think the darker roots make it look more realistic.

    Personally, I have been struggling with finding the perfect style and color, so I just ordered several cheap wigs on clearance just to experiment with style and color. Maybe this will be a subject for my next blog entry.

  4. Petra --- I agree with you except I'd put the shoes and wigs ahead of the legal advice.

  5. Michelle --- Wow, what a wonderful thing to say!

  6. Allison --- The dark roots is a big factor in my opinion.

  7. I agree with you 100%

    Not only is the wig a better quality, but also I would add that when you by a wig at a store rather then on-line, you get personal service. Kathy customs cuts the wig to your preference, I like the bangs little shorter then average and a little wider (if the bangs are long they tangles up in my glasses).

    In addition, when you have to wear a wig for 14 hours a day, seven days a week, quality becomes a factor. My wigs last about 4 months before they have to be replaced, but I don’t just through them out. The new wig I wear to work or important functions, for play or around the house I wear the older wig and finally when I go swimming I wear the third generation wig (I’m wearing the wig I bought last September to wear swimming this weekend).

  8. I just love,love,love your hair. It looks so natural and so good on you.
    wonderful article and wonderful advice-although it will be awhile before I'm in the position to splurge on myself to that degree. But beautiful hair is worth waiting for!
    & as a relative newcomer hoping someday to pass, your site is like a master class! thank you so much!

  9. Hi Stana,

    I, too, invested in a human hair wig at the suggestion of my feminity coach. She recommended a wig stylist here in San Francisco.
    While it seemed a little expensive, I think the results are well worth it. My wig also has roots, is reddish-brown and styled a little longer, ala Jennifer Aniston. I think anyone serious about expressing their feminine side should invest in a quality human hair wig, and have it styled professionally. For that matter, time spent with a coach for one's feminine side is worth the expense, too.

    I endorse Michelle's comments about the importance of your blog
    and your lovely feminine presence. Please keep both coming.


  10. Shelley --- My fault for not being more informative in my posting, but none of my wigs are human hair wigs.

    Thank you for the kind words about my blog!

  11. Gwen Girl --- Thank you for the lovely compliment!

  12. Diana --- Your wigs always look great, but I will admit that I have never seen you in a swimming scenario!

  13. Hi Stana

    I was pleased to read your comment that none of your wigs are human hair. The advice I was given was to avoid them unless my intention was to be 24/7, which has never been my intent. A good quality fibre wig has much more ability to bounce back into shape after the mauling it tends to get from me. I have several but have probably not spent sufficent. One day I will take my time, buy from a shop and have some post purchase styling.

    I am fairly new to your blog but you offer good advice based upon your own experience of being out there, which is great. A short wig is much easier to look after and when out allows you to forget about it and concentrate on other things that matter.

    Hugs TinaCortina