Monday, April 12, 2010

coming out is hard

Updated Below

I wrote here on Friday that I came out to another close acquaintance who I will see when I attend a conference en femme next month.

It took me awhile to get up the nerve to click on the send button and come out to her. The build-up was stressful and I was very moody for days before I finally pushed the button.

Coming out to that friend went very well. Next, I faced a more difficult coming out.

I am on the board of directors of an organization that is one of the major players at the conference I will attend. I felt that I had to come out to the other members of the board as well as the officers of the organization. I have known some of these people for a long time, some for a short time, and two are newbies, who I hardly know, yet I had to come out to all of them.

All weekend, I was stressed out about coming out to these folks and I was in a foul mood as a result. I finally clicked on the send button about 9 PM last night.

I received three e-mails back within minutes. All three were very positive and supportive.

I received two more positive e-mails back this morning.

Three people have not responded yet. One is a short term acquaintance, and the other two are the newbies. The five who did respond are the guys who I have known the longest, so it did my heart good to receive positive supportive responses from them.

Anyway, I am finished coming out with regards to the upcoming conference. I have informed everyone who I think should know. This morning, I woke up feeling relieved that I don't have to click on another send button. And I am in a much better mood, too.

UPDATE: One more responded positively, so the score for the officers and board members is six positive responses and two no responses.


  1. I recall a few years ago when a friend and coworker came out to me about being TG and pursuing SRS. [He] did it by phone, which must have taken tremendous courage. I am sure I was pretty non-committal at his announcement, although of course not overtly negative. But I did then converse with several other friends in the organization (whom had already been told) along the lines of "help me decide how to think about this announcement."

    Only after my talking to them and thinking about it was I then able to go back to my friend and be supportive and helpful.

    In a similar way I would not be surprised if the two newbies are busy chatting to the other members of the committee "what do we think about this?" as they formulate their own opinions. The fact that the rest of the committee has already been supportive is extremely good news in this regard, as it suggests that the Group Think will be positive.

    Congratulations to you, Staci, on taking this bold step.


  2. Chris --- Thank you. I am very happy that I did it and now I feel secure enough to tell a few other friends that I am bound to run into at the conference.

  3. I'm impressed, Staci, with your strength and determination. I, to, am on some boards and was elected to a national board for several years. For now, my secret remains a secret, but I am watching what you are doing and learning from you.

    Calie xxx