Friday, January 30, 2009

I wish I was a girl

Last night, I watched My Name Is Earl on NBC. It was a rerun episode from 2008 titled "Joy in a Bubble."

I will not describe the plot because I was not paying much attention to the show. (I was reading with the television on in the background waiting for The Office and 30 Rock to come on.)

The show did get my attention when Earl's sons attended a young boy's birthday party. When it was time to blow out the candles on the birthday cake, the birthday boy wished aloud, "I wish I was a girl!"

It was the birthday boy's only appearance in the episode (he is not a continuing character in the series) and there was no trans theme in this episode. So, my guess it was a throwaway line intended to get a laugh from the audience, but I am sure it was not a joke to any trans-woman watching the show.

I don't believe I ever made a wish to be a girl when blowing out the candles of my birthday cake, but I do recall on more than one occasion going to bed and hoping I'd wake up female.


  1. Hah, funny that I would find this post only now. I saw this episode in rerun this evening and am posting my own blog about it, and about trans children. Glad you shared it!

  2. I don't think I ever made that wish when blowing out candles.. I wish I did.. Maybe it would have worked :/

  3. Wishes dont work, that's the problem with them.

  4. Blowing out candles? Yes.
    New years' wishes, every time.
    Several times I voiced it to my family when I was a small child even. It didn't matter.
    Sadly for me, a big part of losing my faith was linked to praying nightly to God to let me wake up as a girl, or go to sleep and wake up reborn a girl, and asking why I was born a boy.
    Prayers and wishes dan't work, no matter how many years you have them, nor how much conviction and belief in them you hold.
    Sorry to be such a Debbie-downer y'all.
    Now my physique is for too masculine to do anything about it and wrest satisfaction from it, even though I'm finally able to make that choice for myself.
    I just wish my family actually listened and sought help for me years ago, they had the means, they always just wrote it off.
    Now my girlfriend and I have switched gender roles and it helps us both, but its still dissatisfying for us, its still something where she tells me almost daily that she wishes we could trade bodies or something.
    I just needed an anon venting source.

  5. I've only realized that I was trans in the past couple months, but I've wished and prayed that I was a girl every night since I was like 5 or 6. once I reached middle school I gave up wishing and gave up believing, but now years have past and I know who I am and I'm not afraid to wish or to pray. I tell myself every hour "I am a woman, no matter what my mirror tells me". I love that part of me and I'm going to let it grow and blossom into something beautiful. Thank you random internet people for reminding me I'm not alone:)

  6. I was totally messed up because unsupportive parents. Parents are the worse. I got caught when I was 5 trying on my mothers dress. I really thought I was a girl at 5 years old, and I wanted to be one. But because I was a boy, I was punished for it and my parents just were the wrong kind to have for it. My Mother especially Was is a Baby Boomer, born during world war 2 not understanding at all and my father was a hardcore Military Man. So there was no room for a feminine Son. Especially not his only Son. So after that I kept the secret and only wore Panties and girls clothing in secret and never told anyone or let anyone see me as a girl. And I was Slender and sexy even when I dressed as a boy I looked gay. But Because I had to be Masculine and put on that mask I had to be tough, but I thought of myself as a girl most my friends growing up were Tomboy's Girls, and I never liked guy's either cause I am not gay, I dated girls and I loved foreplay only with girls. I am just a Lesbian with a Dick. I like things that girls like but growing up I had to hide from it mostly cause I was a guy though some parents would let stay over at my female friends houses because I had no desire of physical sex as a teenager unlike most boy's. luckily I had an over abundance of female cousins and I stayed over at there houses a lot because they just were my cousins, and I would let them paint my finger nails and stuff but would make sure they had remover before letting them do it. I learned that there was clear Finger Nail Polish and so I wore it even while at school and in front my parents. Girls at school would say to me often that they loved my finger nails and they was jealous and would say that it was a waste on a dude. Also being a guy and to keep dudes from knowing about me I learned to paint my female cousins and other girls nails, and give manicures. Even guys would be at my house to cause here I had several girls over all the time Guys thought I was a Pimp. And my parents had no ideal about me. And it became as to so that I didn't care what people thought cause people didn't know nothing. But I never let idiots date my female friends either I would beat there asses up cause I still was a Guy. Now I still am the same person but there just is nothing feminine about me anymore so I am stuck as a Man. I don't even like men at all or trust them. I even hate sports I never played Male Sports, I played Volley Ball, and when I serve the ball nobody can hit it. One time one my female cousins kicked me in the nuts and I just stood there like what was that for. I am a woman but nobody knows cause I have a dick and I'll kick your ass. Don't worry about gender just be you, that is what I did. I still can't tell my mother though because she doesn't even think gay people can be forgiven buy God, the bible doesn't say "thou shall not be gay". And the ten commandments are all you have to account for, for God. Fuck People. Today Women don't even know about me they just think I am shy or gay cause I don't hit on them like a Guy but I don't hide anything. I just don't like Men, I only desire Female Like Creatures and in my mind and heart I am really a girl I always was, and you don't change.

  7. yes yes yes i have wished and wanted to be a girl since i was just four years old and i still do want this!