Dress Says Lady. Manspreading Says Otherwise.

You have selected a flattering dress, blended your makeup, styled your wig and found earrings that pull everything together. Then you sit down, spread your knees and plant your feet as though you are guarding a parking space.

Sometimes, the little habits need as much attention as the clothes.

There is no single way women sit, walk or talk. Women manspread, men cross their legs, and nobody needs to impersonate a 1950s finishing-school graduate. But if your goal is a feminine presentation, familiar masculine habits can work against the overall impression you have carefully created.

The answer is practice—and a little awareness.

Start with the knees

Manspreading is an easy habit to overlook because you may have been sitting that way for decades. Put on a short skirt, however, and that comfortable position becomes a wardrobe problem as well as a presentation issue.

Try sitting with your knees comfortably close together and your feet beneath them. You can also cross your legs at the knees or keep your knees together and cross your ankles. Choose a position that suits your body, clothing and mobility. A tight, uncomfortable pose will hardly make you look relaxed.

Practice getting into and out of a chair, too. Smooth your skirt as you sit, lower yourself with control and check where the hem lands. When standing, place your feet where they give you a stable base.

Grace begins with staying upright.

Give the shoulders a day off

Some of us carry ourselves as though we are about to move a refrigerator: shoulders raised, chest thrust forward and arms held away from the body.

Let your shoulders relax. Allow your arms to hang naturally. Keep your head comfortably upright.

You do not need to make yourself tiny, and tall readers need not fold themselves in half. Good posture looks better than an apologetic slouch.

Retire the parade-ground stride

A long, forceful stride may be perfectly comfortable in trousers and walking shoes. In a pencil skirt and heels, it can become an argument between your habits and your wardrobe.

Take slightly shorter steps. Let the skirt and shoes help determine your pace. Look ahead instead of watching every footfall, and give yourself time to turn.

Avoid adding a theatrical hip swing. Comfortable movement is more convincing than choreography.

If the shoes make every step a struggle, change the shoes. You have an outing to enjoy.

Remember what you are wearing

A skirt requires different attention from a pair of jeans. Bending straight over, climbing out of a car or reaching for something on the floor can reveal more than you intended.

Practice those ordinary movements at home. Try sitting in your actual outfit, picking up your handbag and reaching for a low shelf. Use a mirror to see what happens to your neckline and hem.

When getting out of a car, turning toward the door and bringing your legs around together may help you manage your skirt. Use whatever support you need, and put balance ahead of appearances.

The goal is to become familiar enough with your clothes that you can stop worrying about them.

Watch the hands

You may remember your lipstick while forgetting the hand parked inside your waistband.

Pocket rummaging, scratching, tugging at foundation garments and repeatedly adjusting a bra can distract from an otherwise polished appearance. If something needs fixing, excuse yourself and take care of it privately.

Give your hands something ordinary to do: hold your bag, rest them in your lap or gesture naturally while speaking. There is no need for fluttering fingers or a permanently bent wrist.

Listen to the whole conversation

Voice involves more than pitch. Volume, pace, resonance and conversational habits all contribute to how you are perceived.

You need not force a high voice. Speak at a comfortable pitch, avoid straining and listen to a recording of yourself if you want to hear what others hear.

Also notice whether nerves make you talk too loudly, rush your words or interrupt. Those habits are hardly exclusive to men, but they can interfere with the relaxed impression you want to make.

A feminine presentation does not require you to become timid. You can be direct, confident and courteous in the same sentence.

Stop checking yourself every thirty seconds

Tug the wig. Pull down the skirt. Check the bust. Touch the earrings. Repeat.

Many of these movements begin as attempts to improve our appearance. Repeated constantly, they advertise our discomfort.

Before leaving home, sit, walk, bend and reach in your outfit. Resolve the slipping strap or wandering wig before it becomes your afternoon’s main activity.

Once you are out, allow yourself to be interested in something besides your own presentation. Read the menu. Browse the dresses. Listen to your companion.

You went out to experience the world.

Practice the ordinary things

The most useful rehearsal may involve sitting on the sofa, answering the door, carrying a shopping bag or retrieving your keys.

Try recording a short video of yourself doing those things. A still photograph shows the outfit; a video shows the habits. Pick one thing to work on rather than compiling a list of everything you dislike about yourself.

Perhaps this week you practice sitting comfortably in a skirt. Next week, you work on relaxing your shoulders.

And remember: none of these habits makes you a failure. Women come in every size, with every kind of voice, posture and mannerism. You are aiming for a presentation that feels natural to you, not a flawless performance of womanhood.

The clothes may be ready for their public debut. Give your everyday habits a little rehearsal, too.

Especially those knees.

John Carroll Lynch femulating on television's The Drew Carey Show.