Do not dress like an exaggerated idea of a woman. Passing is not accomplished by wearing every feminine item in your wardrobe at the same time. The objective is to fit in, not to advertise how much you enjoy womenswear.
Proper fit is essential. An inexpensive dress that fits well will look more convincing than an expensive dress that pulls across the shoulders, hangs loosely at the waist or ends at an unflattering point on the legs. A-line skirts, wrap dresses, longer jackets and tops with open necklines can help create a more feminine silhouette.
The same principle applies to padding. Modest breast forms, a little hip padding and some waist definition can improve your proportions. Too much padding may attract attention for all the wrong reasons. You want to suggest natural curves, not create a cartoon.
Dress appropriately for the occasion. A dress and heels may be perfect for dinner, church or a special event, but jeans, a casual top and flats might help you blend in better at the supermarket. I love dressing up as much as anyone, but I have occasionally found myself conspicuously overdressed among women wearing sneakers and sweatshirts.
Study what women around your age are actually wearing. You do not have to copy them exactly or abandon your personal style, but their clothing provides a useful guide. If every woman in the shopping mall is dressed casually and you arrive wearing a sequined cocktail dress and 5-inch heels, people are going to look and not necessarily because they have identified you as a man.
Details matter. Shoes, handbag, jewelry, hosiery, nails and outerwear should belong to the same outfit and occasion. One or two tasteful accessories often look more convincing than a jewelry counter’s worth of sparkle.
Hair can make or break the presentation. A natural-looking wig that suits your face and age is worth the investment. It should be positioned correctly and, ideally, trimmed by someone who knows how to style wigs. Nothing announces “wig” faster than an unnaturally dense hairline or a style that looks as though it came straight out of the box.
Makeup should soften and enhance rather than serve as a mask. Conceal beard shadow, even the complexion, shape the eyebrows, define the eyes and select a lipstick appropriate for the time of day. Heavy makeup may be suitable for an evening event, but it can seem out of place during a morning visit to the grocery store.
Do not overlook facial hair, eyebrows, hands or exposed body hair. These relatively small details can undermine an otherwise excellent presentation.
Clothing and makeup are only part of passing. Practice walking, sitting, reaching for things, carrying a handbag and getting in and out of a car. Learn how to manage a skirt and how to walk comfortably in your chosen shoes. Natural, relaxed movement is far more convincing than an exaggerated feminine performance.
The same is true of the voice. Pitch is not everything. Resonance, rhythm, volume and word choice are equally important. A relaxed, pleasant voice is usually more believable than an artificially high one.
Before going out, take a full-length photograph in ordinary lighting. Photographs often reveal problems that the mirror overlooks. Ask yourself, “Do I look like a woman going about her day, or like a man wearing every feminine thing he owns?”
If it is the latter, removing one conspicuous item may improve the whole presentation.
Finally, wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and composed. Confidence alone will not guarantee that you pass, but nervousness, fidgeting and constantly checking whether people are looking at you will attract attention.
Passing takes effort. It also takes practice: practice choosing clothes, applying makeup, walking in heels, using your voice and simply being out among civilians.
As I have written many times: practice, practice, practice.
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| Wearing Paige |
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| Professional femulator, circa 1960 |
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