Fear

A reader asked, “Could you discuss the fear of telling your wife that you are a crossdresser, especially when you and your wife are conservatives?”

A healthier way to frame the conversation—particularly in conservative marriages—is to avoid presenting crossdressing as “this is who I really am.” A more accurate and less threatening approach is: “This is one part of me that I’ve struggled to talk about, and I want to be honest because I respect our marriage.”

Several points often matter deeply in conservative relationships. You are not asking to leave the marriage, not rejecting your masculinity or your role as a husband, not demanding instant acceptance and you are choosing honesty over secrecy.

It’s important to remember that silence may protect a marriage in the short term, but secrecy often damages it in the long term. Even conservative wives frequently care more about trust, stability, and being included than about strict ideological purity.

If you’re not ready to tell her yet, that doesn’t make you weak or dishonest—it means you’re cautious. Still, it’s worth asking yourself a few questions:

• What am I afraid she will assume?
• Are those assumptions actually true?
• What would I want her to understand first if I did tell her?

The answers often point toward a calmer, more intentional conversation when the time comes.

Being conservative does not mean being incapable of compassion or nuance. Many conservative wives struggle at first—not because they stop loving their husband, but because they need time to reconcile something unexpected with the man they trust. The fear you’re feeling is understandable. It doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you care deeply about your marriage and the values you share.

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

Matteo Cetinski femulating Jelena Rozga on Croatian television’s Your Face Sounds Familiar. Click here to view this femulation on YouTube.