Stuff 104: Carnegie Hall

By J.J. Atwell

How to Get There

You may be familiar with this story. A guy is hauling a violin case on the streets of New York, but gets lost. He asks a passerby how to get to Carnegie Hall. The stranger says, “Practice, practice, practice.”

Yes, it’s an old joke. But I think it applies to those of us who femulate as well.

Practice Your Presentation

As you might have guessed, that’s a lead in to today’s Stuff which is all about practicing so you make your best presentation. What do we need to practice? My list would certainly include:

• Doing makeup
• Dealing with long hair
• Walking in heels
• Having long fingernails
• Wearing a skirt
• Being conscious of your boobs 
• Mannerisms

Before actually talking about the individual items, I should be clear that my experience in dressing is actually somewhat limited. I’ve only been going out dressed for a bit more than three years. Before that I didn’t need to think about those things, but now that I get out in public, they have become important.

Let's Consider Some of Them 

My biggest need for practice is doing makeup. When you only dress about once a month that’s not really much practice. It’s easy to forget steps or remember what works best from past outings. 

I suppose I should just go ahead and try doing makeup even when not going out dressed. I could do that but it takes time and time can be hard to find. It takes me probably an hour from shower to full face. Happy to do that when I’m going out, but if I’m staying in and will have to wash it right off, it seems like a lot of work. So I don’t. And hence, I fail at makeup. Sigh. 

Dealing with long hair is an interesting adjustment. As a guy, I have a typical guy haircut. When dressed, my hair depends on the wig. You probably read about my adventure buying a new wig in Stuff #98. The new wig (see photo above) is quite different from the previous one and took some amount of re-learning. Things I notice most are how I need to hold my head when eating so I don’t get some hair in my forkful of food. Yuck. I also find I need to pay more attention when driving as the longer hair affects my peripheral vision, requiring me to turn my head further when checking for cars on either side. Another annoyance is that I’m always fiddling with the bangs so they aren’t in my eyes (a bit more hair spray should take care of that). 

Walking in heels is kind of a fun adjustment for me. Of course it depends a bit on how high the heels are, how narrow the heel is and if there is a platform. So each pair of heels can feel different. But mostly, we need to concentrate on our walk when we wear heels or flats. Swinging the hips a bit as we walk but not over doing that sway is important. Fortunately it’s easy to find time to practice walking in heels. 

I’ll Be Back

I know I didn’t address all the items I listed. Watch for them in a future installment Stuff. As always, comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff, so if there is something you would like to read about please let me know!

Wearing Ann Taylor

Matt Damon femulating in the film The Good Shepherd.