Friday, November 26, 2021

We don’t need no stinking trousers!

Monday’s post (“Dresses & Skirts – A Thing Of The Past?”) by Carollyn Olson received a lot of interesting comments. What follows is my take on the subject.

I seldom see civilian women in dresses or skirts. At the mall last week, I saw one woman in a skirt – all the others were in pants. However, there were still racks of dresses for sale in Macy’s. Don’t know who’s buying them because nobody was wearing them. Maybe they should move those racks to the men’s department because it seems that “men” like us are more likely to wear dresses than cisgender women.

Despite what civilian women are wearing or not wearing, I still dress up when I go out. In addition to the dress, I am fully coiffured and wear heels, hosiery, handbag, jewelry, bra, girdle, full makeup, etc. – just like when Mom when she used to go out. (She taught her “daughter” well.)

People notice. But what’s wrong with being noticed? Being noticed may result in compliments and what girl doesn’t like to receive unsolicited compliments on their appearance.

I’ve received compliments from complete strangers while out and about. My favorite occurred one day while I was looking through the racks at JCPenney. 

A middle-aged woman (same age as me) approached and asked, “Can I ask you a question.”

I had no idea what she was going to ask (“What time is it?” “Where did you buy your shoes?” “Are you a transvestite?”). I girded my loins, smiled and agreed to answer her question.

“You're dressed fashionably, so I'd like your opinion about a pair of slacks I was thinking about buying.”

Wow! I did not see that coming!

I did not like the slacks that she had picked out and suggested something with a bolder pattern. She admitted that she really did not like her pick and liked my suggestion better.

I pointed out a skirt with a pattern similar to what I had in mind and her eyes lit up as she said, “I saw slacks with that pattern. Now I just have to find them again! Thank-you for your help.”

It does not get much better than that! But how ironic: a “man” wearing a dress helping a woman shop for slacks!

I admit I have a few bifurcated garments in milady’s wardrobe. But I seldom wear them. Maybe when I attend a very casual affair like a cook-out or a softball game. Otherwise, I’m in a dress. 

After all, they don’t call it “cross-trousering,” do they?

Source: JustFab
Wearing JustFab

Femulate reader Heather Elizabeth Stevens, not out and about as often as she would like. Hotel stays while on business trips after a long day typically finds Heather short on time to get out, yet she still adores having her time in a hotel with a glass or two of wine and friends on the Internet.


  1. A skirt or dress with pantyhose can be far more comfortable than the trousers that men have to wear at all times

  2. I believe men wear trousers since at one time they rode horses. What a stupid reason to have a wedge of cloth.against male "junk". As a male I find skirts and dresses so MUCH more comfortable.

  3. I was out dressed up on Wednesday. I went to two clothing consignment shops, got some groceries and perused the racks of Social Dresses at Macy’s. ( I love that term Social Dresses! Are there dresses you wear to be left alone?) I saw no one else in a skirt or dress, not even with tights and boots, which would have been appropriate in the low 40’s temperatures. I, of course, was in sheer pantyhose and peep toe heels despite the weather. The elegant Italian wool jacket I was wearing kept me toasty despite any cool breezes that found their way up my knee length skirt.
    While I applaud modern women for embracing pants so they can be comfortable, I prefer skirts and all the delightful accessories that go with them. For a day that I don’t expect to be crawling in the dirt, why shouldn’t I feel as pretty, graceful, elegant and feminine as I feel in a beautiful dress?

  4. I had a nice interaction with a civilian a few weeks ago. I was grocery shopping in one of the pricier suburbs. I was dressed in an outfit befitting a corporate executive and was wigged and made up as well. A woman who was giving out samples of a new product left her station to offer compliments on my Franco Sarto heels. “Your shoes are so pretty. I can’t wear heels anymore since I ruined my ankles.” I replied “ I only wear heels once or twice a month. Really no one should be wearing them much more often than that. And, I DO feel prettier in heels.” To that she nodded and looked a little wistful. I think she thought I was a woman and we had a sisterly moment. It was wonderful!

  5. "Cross-trousering"! You may have coined a new one here, Sweetie!

  6. Stana,
    I feel like you. The last three times I have been out, I wore a skirt and sweater. I knew I probably would be the only person in a dress or skirt, but I didn’t feel right unless I was showing off my legs.
    Of the thousands of people that were on the streets those days, I was the only one in a skirt or dress. I received no comments, nor any unusually long stares.
    I felt wonderful. And maybe I was an inspiration to other women to dress more feminine.
    We should all look beautiful while out and about.

  7. While "cross-trousering" made me laugh, I do not like the term cross-dresser since it carries with it such a negative connotation. That word is used in making us the butt of jokes, to shed a negative light on what many people to be deviant murderers, especially in such films as "Dressed to Kill" and "Body Double." Probably most telling of all is that if you believe, as I do, that you are more than just a man who likes to wear women's clothing and that in your mind you know that you were born a woman who happens to have the wrong outer casing, then how in the hell can you possibly be a cross-dresser!!! That's why I love the terminology en femme and femulate.

    1. I agree, Jasmine. Cross dresser has a negative connotation since it suggests transgression against an accepted norm. I prefer “skirt enthusiast”. It is gender neutral, and it respects the fact that some women genuinely do not like wearing skirts, which makes them no less female than their skirted sisters. Similarly, I am more feminine in a skirt but no less male.

    2. I also agree , I don't like the name cross-dresser because it sounds like just a fetish and it doesn't Respect one's genuine true felt trans identity which no one should belittle .


    3. I agree as well. In my opinion, "cross-dresser" merely denotes the physical wearing of clothes of the opposite sex. There is no other dynamic attached to it. That is why I so love Stana's term "femulating" because in my opinion it covers the entire spectrum from dressing up, getting made-up and emotionally and mentally presenting yourself as a woman, whether you are merely enjoying impersonating a female or have truly accepted your feminine nature.

    4. Yes,
      Paulette, perfect description of our femulation which includes skirts

      We may spend an hour getting femmed but its worth it


    5. Leslie LangfordNovember 27, 2021

      I think that within the context the current times the term "crossdresser" has become archaic and should be consigned to the dustbin of history.

      The word "cross" by definition denotes "against", "in opposition to" and the like. If genetic women have largely abandoned wearing traditional female clothing such as skirts, dresses, pantyhose and high heels etc., who exactly are we dressing in opposition to then?

      Let's just call it what it is...we have simply co-opted dresses, skirts, hose and heels etc. for our own purposes, the same way that genetic females have laid claim to male clothing under the guise of "menswear", "boyshorts", "borrowed from the boys" and "the boyfriend jeans" etc., and as best exemplified by the "Annie Hall" look that was first popularized by actress (oops..."actor") Diane Keaton. That probably contributed significantly to getting this whole trend started in the first place.

  8. I agree as well. In my opinion, "cross-dresser" merely denotes the physical wearing of clothes of the opposite sex. There is no other dynamic attached to it. That is why I so love Stana's term "femulating" because in my opinion it covers the entire spectrum from dressing up, getting made-up and emotionally and mentally presenting yourself as a woman, whether you are merely enjoying impersonating a female or have truly accepted your feminine nature.

  9. I guess we're all different and variety can be a good thing.

    Personally, I don't mind trousers - at least, if they are the right cut.

    By the right cut, I mean said troos shouldn't feel blokey: so that's a no to boyfriend jeans, but I'm probably not the target audience for them 🙂

    I think leggings and a tunic are a great everyday look. See also skinny jeans. For a smarter take, ankle graders, fitted trousers, or palazzo pants can be very chic and dressed up if you're going somewhere fancy.

    In my bloke appearance, I really don't like the everyday loose fit jean. Oddly, they're too mannish for me and I find them a bit triggering.

    As another blogger once said, "and so it goes" 🙂

  10. "Cross-trousering" is so funny! Thank you Stana!

    Yeah, I have lived most of my life wearing pants. I don't need them. The girl inside now that she is out wants to wear skirts all the time.

    I am ok with Crossdresser as a term but I get the negative connotations. I never liked the term Transvestite for probably the same reason many don't like Crossdresser. The implication of deviance. For me it goes beyond "clothes" and is something in my mind. The clothes appease the mind. And so does shaving my legs, thinning my eyebrows, shaping my nails. I consider myself gender fluid.

    - Christina Cross

  11. Thanks so much for the Femulator Feature of Me! I do love your Blog. You are just amazing and an inspiration.

    1. You're welcome and thank you for the kind words, Heather!