Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Your Passing Success Stories

In Monday’s post, I asked you to send me your passing success stories in order to cheer things up at the end of this dreadful year. 

Some of you told your stories in the Comments section of Monday's post, while some of you sent me your stories via email. I will begin posting the email stories below in the order received. Regarding the Comments stories, I refer you back to Monday’s post.

Thank you all who responded. And it is not too late to send me your story. And as I wrote on Monday, please only send me one – your very best – passing success story, even though you may have a million of them. That way everyone will have a chance to tell their story.

Anna María

Three or four times a year we go to a town about two hours away to visit with a dear friend. It is not often that my wife accepts to go out with me while dressed; she is afraid we may ran into someone we know and for some reason or another, I had not been there dressed for many years.

We arrived early so my wife could visit a store she likes and at the store we ran into our friend. She did recognize my wife right away and though she knew I would be presenting as a female, she did not recognize me at all. 

This is what she emailed to me the next morning. “Truly, it was a shock to realize who you were... and you looked so comfortable in your own skin... be well... see you again.” 

Later we had lunch together at a large table to keep our social distancing. It was a perfect girls’ lunch and my first real outing this 2020, other than once a week dressing up to walk our Cocker Spaniels.


I was shopping one of those huge wig and beauty supply super stores just north of Philadelphia. I was dressed business-like in black slacks, a magenta sweater and demure jewelry. A young sales associate asked me if I needed help. I sat down in a chair and we started trying on wigs. 

I didn’t try to conceal the fact that I was a femulator – heck, my wig was off so I thought it was obvious. It was so much fun trying so many different looks. After a while she asked me “Did you lose your hair from chemo?”

“Oh no,” I answered, “This is just the natural me.” 

It didn’t click that the reason she asked this was because she thought I was a cisgender woman recovering from breast cancer. It dawned on me later. Because she had seen me without a wig, I assumed she knew I was a femulator. So,I asked her, “Do you get many other men customers in here?” 

She replied, “No, not really,” and then a minute or two later with a confused look she asked, “Why do you say it like that?” 

She was confused by the word “other,” so I explained to her that I was a guy who was transgender and that I lived part-time as a woman. 

“Oh… I thought you were a woman,” she stammered. 

Now I’ve played this over in my mind a thousand times. I’ve had sales associates appease me and act surprised when I mentioned that I was transgender. You can tell when someone is being polite. This young lady didn’t have to say that. I kept dropping clues that I was a femulator, but she truly seemed surprised. She thought I was female and for me, to be recognized as a woman was the perfect end to that two-week period.

Angela Booth

I had an appointment to have a new wig styled at my salon. I always go dressed and go to a side room with my stylist. On arrival, I gave my details to the receptionist who checked my appointment and asked me to take a seat. I saw my stylist working away and she waved at me. 

One of the other girls had just finished washing a ladies’ hair. She walked towards me and asked if I was next to have my hair washed...

Gracie Rose

I love when I hear someone say ma’am or refer to me as her. I work hard to blend, but when I hear something like that, I feel that I am truly passing.

A few weeks ago, I was walking a walking trail in a local park en femme. The trail was a 1-mile loop that I completed three times. There was a gentleman going the opposite direction, so we passed multiple times. I smiled and said “good morning” as we passed the first time, as is my standard greeting to everyone on the trail. 

The second time, I smiled as we passed. The third time, he waved for me to stop. I pulled out my earbuds and he asked me, “Has anyone ever told you that you look like Christine Baranski, the actress?”

I told him that no one had told me that before. I was somewhat surprised to hear that. He noticed my confusion and said, “When you smiled back there, you reminded me of her.” 

He paused and said’ “That’s a compliment.” 

I thanked him and we both continued our separate walks. I was elated that I not only seem to have passed, but was compared favorably to a nice-looking actress.

Stay tuned for more of your passing success stories in near future posts.

Wearing ModCloth
Wearing ModCloth

Georg Preuße and Reiner Kohler femulate on West German television's Mary & Gordy.
Georg Preuße and Reiner Kohler femulate on West German television's Mary & Gordy. Search YouTube for “Mary & Gordy” and you will find a slew of videos from the show.


  1. Hi all my best success story was in holiday with my girlfriend,i had a night en femme we both dressed to the nines heels short dresses black hose,we went to a jazz bar/restaurant as we entered and turned toward the dining area we heard a voice behind shouting "Wow Ladies" we didn't look back but i felt brilliant it made my night my girlfriend enjoyed the compliment
    too thanks Sara

  2. For what it's worth, this is the outfit I was wearing when I had my passing expereince

  3. Thank you ladies for sharing your wonderful stories! I'm living vicariously through I'm sure others are too:)

    Ciao! Elise

  4. I get "ma'amed" fairly often, but I think it's mostly politeness. A couple times I've been actually treated as a woman in shopping situations. But on one of my very best attempts I had lost a fair amount of weight so my body + padding looked really good. My bodycon dress showed a nice figure with my "girls" prominently featured. My stylist gave me a beautiful hairdo and my MAC lady really outdid herself. I barely recognized myself in the mirror.

    I met a small group of ladies for a play -- "Dorian's Closet", about a transwoman in the NY "House Voguing" heyday who had a certain secret stashed in her closet -- and we headed to our seats. I got "Ma'amed" a lot on the way in. As I passed across the first row on the way to my seat I heard, "Hi, Mike". It was the night this particular theater critic was reviewing the play. I knew her pretty well through my work at another Baltimore theater. So I sat down and chatted with her and her husband for a couple minutes. She told me I looked "fabulous" and that she loved my dressing to attend a play about drag. The rest of the night I was treated as a woman, even to the point of having someone buy me a drink and asking me to dance. All this good stuff might have had me floating on air -- had my bubble not been popped by an instant recognition earlier that evening. I guess you can't fool everyone!

  5. Thanks for reminding me of "Mary und Gordy", Stana. They were really good. This and the mention of Christer Lindarw made me think about the difference between European and American audiences. In Europe a good Drag/Female Impersonation show draws a very diverse audience. Here in American we still see these shows being performed before "certain" audiences. Is it the Puritan influence or the lingering effect McCarthyism and the Eisenhower presidency had on "the dreaded homosexuality"? I can't begin to tell you how happy I am that RuPaul is getting that stigma removed, one fabulous episode at a time, not to mention all those road shows.


    So I had my makeup on and fully dressed and said I am going out!! Really going out! I walked into Goodwill and shopped for about an hour and when I went up to the cashier she did not give me a second glance. In fact no one in the store gave me a second glance. When I said the cashiers name, she looked up at me and because she was not wearing her name tag she ask me. "How did you know my name?" I pulled my mask back and smiled. She always ask to see my photos when I come in but this was the first time I was en femme. She went on and on how great I looked. It was wonderful. Then to TJ Max and bought some makeup and not a glance. Then to the pharmacy at the grocery store and the pharmacist who I have known for 20is years ask for my birthday and name. I asked her if she recognized me and she apologized "I am sorry ma'am should I know you? I showed her my face and she almost fell over. She came around the corner and went on and on about my legs and the boots!! Then when I was in the produce section a young man saw me and said to me "Can I help you find anything?" I said no thank you. It is the first time anyone has asked to help me at that store. Then the best. After getting the milk I turned and a man was looking me up and down. When I caught his eye he said "I was just admiring you boots" I said thank you and had a smile under my mask that lasted 4 more isles. Hugs Diane

  7. For those who know me I am fortunate to be on the petite side. Several years ago I was at the monthly meeting of my transgender support group. One of the wives walked over to me and starting to chat with me. She asked me who I was here with. That really made my day.

  8. My wife and I have a timeshare with a major hotel company that allows us to use our timeshare points worldwide. Like many of us, I looked a lot better and more passable over a decade ago (somewhat out since the mid 80s, out more frequently since the late 90s), and we used to take vacations in which I left male attire at home. One was a Caribbean cruise, on which a couple passengers at the pool and a couple ramdom Jamaican guys in port tried hitting on me. Another was a trip to Palm Desert, in which I never heard a "sir" all week. On both trips, I had the liberating experience of being able to go swimming enfemme, and after swimming one day at Palm Desert, the management was was setting up the clubhouse for a wine and cheese party; the manager offered me a glass of wine pre-event, and invited me to come over and join the event. I was wearing a swim cap, and the only makeup I had on was water-resistant foundation, waterproof mascara and eye liner, so I know I wasn't looking my best. My wife and I dressed up, I redid my makeup, fixed my hair, and attended. It was great, there was a women's vacation club staying there and they immediately accepted us for their shopping, tourist, and restaurant trips the rest of the week. In both cases, I traveled to and from vacation sites enfemme (car for the cruise, air for PD), and even went through port Customs enfemme for the cruise. By the way, there is little hazard in flying commercially enfemme with a guy pic and name on your passport or license, so long as the international destination is not Russia, Muslim countries, or any other trans-unfriendly place. Do your homework, you'll be OK.