Wednesday, December 30, 2020

Passing as a Passion

My inbox is overflowing with your passing success stories. I thank you for sharing your stories and I promise to post them all. And if you have not yet sent me your best passing success story, I encourage you to do so.

Meg Winters

I had a few visits with a therapist. On visit one, I explained Meg. 

On visit three, I left work early and Meg went to the appointment. As the therapist came out with her current patient, I said hi and she said, “I'm sorry. I'm booked today. You'll have to make an appointment for a different day.” 

I identified myself and we had an... interesting session.

Lee B.

A couple of times a year I have to travel (via auto) from my home in Melbourne, Florida, to Atlanta, which is about an 8-hour drive. Not too long ago, Lee had the opportunity to make the trip! Although the reason for driving to Atlanta was an appointment for the “he” side, I thought it would be a great time to be Lee for the trip up to Atlanta and the ride back home to Florida.  

I started planning this adventure... it certainly is a lot more work laying out the different outfits, coordinating shoes, jewelry, makeup and throwing in the few guy things for the appointment. During this process of getting everything together, the thought crossed my mind... check-in at the hotel in Atlanta!  Not only do they want the credit card you use for the stay, they also want your driver’s license. 

There is simply not any way my driver’s license picture would pass even the most superficial examination, that is, the picture did not look anything like the person that was checking in. Not to mention the names don’t exactly match. Although Lee is my middle name on the license, I just don’t think that would overcome the obvious difference in the picture. I decided that a possible moment of awkwardness was not going to be enough of a deterrent to spending some quality time. On with the packing.

Up bright and early, probably earlier than I would have under normal circumstances, after all there are many more things to think about. Everything seemed to come together fairly smoothly and I was on I-95 by 8AM headed to the Big Peach (Atlanta). 

The next eight hours went by very uneventfully with the rest stops and one fill at a gas station. I really don’t know if the uneventful trip gave me some extra time to wonder about the check-in at the hotel or not, but I did roll it around in my mind a couple more times. Maybe it just reinforced my desire to do what I planned.

Atlanta’s legendary afternoon traffic did not seem to be overly challenging on this day; I drove up to the front of the hotel and picked up everything I would need for registering. There was only one clerk at the desk and she was waiting on a customer as I walked up. She finished with the customer and I went to the desk and presented my confirmation paper.  

After looking at it, she then spoke the words I had been concerned about the whole time, “May I please have the credit card used and your driver's license.”  

Although I was completely expecting those words, I no doubt took a little extra deep breath in anticipation. I placed the license and credit card on the desk, she thanked me and proceeded to enter whatever information she needed. Then she looked up at me and said, “I'm sorry, I will need your license, too.”

I then smiled and said, “That is my license.”

She just stood still for a moment and then I also said, “I’m sorry. I guess the picture makes it a little confusing.”

She then gave me a big smile while giving me the keys and wishing me a pleasant stay! I was very pleased with her handling of the check-in and I at least, I felt I passed.

One last little wrinkle in my little adventure. I got settled into the room and lightly unpacked. I separated “his” clothes and set them out for the next morning. As I was getting everything ready, it suddenly dawned on me I had not packed any guy shoes and I just did not think the heels I brought would go unnoticed at the appointment the next morning! So shopping was on the agenda!  

Somehow it just was not as much fun going shopping for guy shoes while dressed as Lee. However, I enjoyed it anyway!


I do not femulate out there among the people but I am fortunate enough to spend plenty of time en femme at home. A few Octobers ago, I saw a pair of heels on the Payless website that I just had to have and wearing a pair of nude hose under my jeans, I drove to my local Payless to buy them “for my Halloween costume.”  

The store was empty so I decided to try them on as quickly as humanly possible to make sure I had the right size. I did not hear the saleswoman behind me until she said, “Those are very popular.” 

And then, noticing my feet in nylon, said, “It appears you came prepared.”  

She suggested I take a few steps in them to make sure I had the correct size. Walking from one end of the store to the other in black stilettos under the warm smile of a compassionate woman is a heart-warming experience – I'll never forget!


Wearing Unique Vintage
Wearing Unique Vintage

I Heart You Pare
Femulators on Filipino television's I Heart You Pare 


  1. Stana, I love that you feature polka dot fashions regularly. I love polka dots and have lots of clothes with them in various sizes. My mother loved then, too. Connection???? Hmmmmm. I'm sure you've posted photos wearing polka dots buy can't recall them. Any chance you might post a "dotted" one?

    1. Here is a photo of this Polish girl wearing polka dots:

  2. I love the current stories from readers. I get "ma'am-ed" fairly often, but as I really don't pass very well I'm thinking in my case that people have become more used to seeing men in dresses, especially given the popularity of RuPaul's expanding exposure and programming. There's also this damned political correctness business that has people being almost afraid of saying the "wrong thing". And that leads them to default in favor of the way I present myself. I think it's fine -- fun, too. But my previous post about getting really nicely turned out only to have an unexpected friend see me and immediately saying, "Hi, Mike". That grounded me and, while I make an effort to look as femme as possible as Mikki, I mostly take "ma'am" references as politeness. Hey, I'll take it. I'm old enough to remember when it was actually dangerous to go out dressed. I love the progress!

  3. I just love Meg's story about her therapist..... she should have expected Meg's male identity on her waiting room, knew Meg existed.... and never made the connection.