Thursday, December 5, 2019

Femulating Failure

It works!
I learned quickly that there are a number of advantages to sitting to urinate. So much so that I sit to pee in boy mode, too.

In boy mode a few days ago, I sat to pee as a good girl should and as I dropped my drawers, my iPhone slipped out of my back pocket into the toilet bowl! I retrieved it as quickly as possible and dried it off as best as I could. I thought all was well until I made a phone call – there was no sound emitting from the phone!

I soon discovered that there was water in the headphone jack and the iPhone interpreted the water as an inserted headphone plug. Thus, the iPhone defaulted to headphone mode; it was sending audio to the headphone jack instead of the speaker.

I messed around with the phone for an hour trying to get the water out of the jack, but no luck. I dreaded taking the iPhone apart again, so I decided to first try a trick that worked in the past with my daughter's drowned iPhones: put the phone in a bed of uncooked rice to absorb the moisture.

Happy to say, when I retrieved the phone from the rice bowl the next morning, all was well with my iPhone!

And I learned my lesson: from now on, I will leave my iPhone in my purse when I sit to pee.

Source: Moda Operandi
Wearing Sophie Et Voila

Ross Adams
Ross Adams femulating on British television’s Hollyoaks.


  1. It just goes to show. You should always keep your cell phone in your purse! ;-)
    Next time phone meets water, try to suck our the water using your shop-vac, just to speed the process.
    As for sitting and peeing, this process is much easier on an elderly prostate than 'stand and aim'. Prostate inflammation (for whatever issue, including constrictive 'lady garments' causes diminished urine flow, pushing only backs up the urine and inflames the prostate even more, creating a very painful 'feedback loop'. Ultimately, the only real solution is to 'relax' the kegel muscles and NOT PUSH--ever and allow gravity do the job. Soon the inflammation subsides.
    I learned this 40 years ago from an ESQUIRE article, written by by an HONEST UROLOGIST, titled: "HOW TO PEE". The doc explained that most males do it wrong by pushing, or having the proverbial "Urination Contest" by pushing, instead of relaxing the kegel muscles..
    The urologist claimed this 'push method' was the source of a great deal of his income! BTW, cellular (body cells, NOT your phone, stupid!) inflammation is bad, which causes cellular death and excessive cellular replacement, which can lead to mis-transcription of DNA ...
    I had the unfortunate experience last week of visiting a friend (same age)in the hospital-- his prostate grew to ginormous proportions, and the urine flow ceased. Doctors had to 'ream out' (called TURP) his urethra/prostate-- TWICE! as they did not get the job right on try one. SERIOUS, HUGE PAIN!
    DO avoid this.... Learn to pee....

    1. I second Velma's comments about sitting down to pee. I'm 78 now and that strong stream I used to have is now more of a spray or spritz that can go everywhere, including on my pants sometimes. So I sit to pee about 90% of the time. I learned to take my phone out of my pocket, by the way, when it fell on the floor. But now I mostly carry a purse when I'm in casual mode. Sometimes it's a "gender neutral" messenger bag but usually it's just a plain purse with a shoulder strap that matches my clothes. I wonder what kind of purse Stanley carries?

    2. Currently, a red crossbody Coach clutch.

  2. Stana -

    I use a simple rule to determine whether I sit or stand to pee. If I'm wearing feminine clothing, I sit. Otherwise, I stand.


  3. In "boy" mode (I still get ma'amed frequently) I carry a cross body bag where I put my phone. I have washed my phone in the past when I had it in a pocket. Washed phones don't work so well. Also it's nice to pick up trousers and not have a bunch coins fall out.

  4. Stana, I dread this happening! A number of times I've had it fall out of my pocket when sitting down to pee, but (not yet) into the john-ette. Like you, I find it much more reasonable (and less messy!) to sit down and pee in whatever mode. I seem to recall as a kid I always did, until someone, maybe my dad, informed me that males stood up. (But my aim was never very good). The other day I asked AnnMarie, our gardening girl friend, how she managed in the little girls' room with her phone in her back pocket. She said she always worries about that, and tried to remeber to take it out before she starts. (She also sometimes keeps her phone in her bra ... I couldn't manage that!) So, yes Anonymous, I keep mine in my purse when I can.

  5. "And I learned my lesson: from now on, I will leave my iPhone in my purse when I sit to pee."

    wow, very ladylike, Stana

  6. I sit also and although I haven't dropped the phone out of my back pocket yet, I've come close enough times that I am careful as I drop my drawers and squat. I'm so glad that the rice trick worked for you.

  7. Episode detail of Holyoaks please


  8. I'm soo glad your phone still works!! And thanks for the reminder on that! Sara