Tuesday, November 18, 2014

ad nauseum

framed_photo ad nauseum - a Latin term for a discussion that has continued so long that it has continued "to [the point of] nausea" (Source: Wikipedia).

On my desk at work is a framed photo of me at work en femme on Halloween in 2012. It serves as a reminder to me of who I really am and is my way of virtually going to work every day en femme.

During the two years that that photo has been on my desk, only one co-worker has ever commented or asked about it and their question was an innocuous, "Who took the photo?"

I am not sure what that says about me or my co-workers.

  • Maybe my co-workers suspect that something is going on with me, but are too polite to ask.
  • Maybe my co-workers suspect that something is going on with me, but are bored with it, so don't ask about it and just wonder what is taking her so long to move on with her life.
  • Maybe my co-workers feel that it is none of their business or maybe they just don't care.

Regardless, it will be interesting to hear my co-workers thoughts on the matter after the fact.

I appreciate all your concerns that you e-mailed me or left as comments to Thursday's post. I believe that I have everything covered (read my replies to your comments) and there is only one thing holding me back: telling my wife.

That one thing holding me back is a big thing and I am carefully strategizing  how I am going to handle it. Haste makes waste, as they say, but on the other hand, I am ready to burst and need to resolve this soon.





Source: DailyLook

Wearing DailyLook.





Actor Hemmo Karja femulating in the 2014 Finnish film Nightmare 2.


  1. I so totally see that your at post time and ready to traut out of the gate at the moment the barriers swing wide. I respect totally your care and concern for your wife. And hope that she sees the importance of you being you. As you have cared for her desires though out your lives my desire no is she cares for yours!

  2. Stana, you only have one life to lead and if the only obstacle to being truly happy is telling your wife who does not seem to mind as long as she is not involved then go for it! You clearly have been pondering on this for a long time and what better time to come than now when trans issues are out there for all of us to see. You have been an ambassador for a long time and inspired us all to get out there....so take that final step!!.....best, Joanna

  3. Dare I say Stana, the concept of anyone being transgender is becoming more and more common place today. And, the concept of you being trans has reached the "yawn and so what" around your work place.
    As far as your wife goes, it's sad to say but she too will have to come to a place of "calm and so what?"
    You only live once and I can speak from experience (as you know) I wish I had made the gender move long ago.
    You have the life others can only dream of now...go seize the rest of what is yours!

  4. My preferred idiom of speech has tended to be the combined "ad nauseum, ad infinitum", but one of the pleasures we have from reading your blog is the true humanity that you display in all aspects of your life. Therefore I likely speak for others when I suggest that your readers have not tired of reading about the practical aspects of your soul searching quest to address your gender issues in the context of your personal and professional situation.

    You are likely correct that at this point in time, with your long history at your company and the fact that the remainder of your work life is getting shorter every day, your presenting to work some days dressed as a man and others as a woman or going full time would not alter the workplace landscape any more than when my place of work converted from full time formal business attire to part time and then full time business casual.

    Only you and your wife can gauge how much your regular dressing at work will create concerns in other areas of your life. In that regard you may be guided by the concept of "primum non nocere" ("First do no harm").

    Good luck and keep writing from your soul.


  5. The old carpenter's adage - "Measure Twice - Cut Once" - applies here as well, my dear. Be sure of what to say, how to say it, and when to say it BEFORE you start cutting. Blessings to you and her, sweetie.

  6. what i fail to see is why is being transgenered sissy lg cd tg boy's wishing wanting to be girl's why what is so very terrible about this it is quite natual to revert back into the gender you are most comfortable being and i too wish and want to be a girl female i have wished and wanted this ever since i was three four and or even five to be a girl and not male at all being a boy is not what you think it is!