Monday, March 12, 2012

Call Me Sissy

sissy1 According to my recollection, the first negative word ever hurled at me was "sissy."

"Sissy" according to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Third Edition is "a boy or man regarded as effeminate."

To illuminate that definition, the dictionary defines "effeminate" as "having qualities or characteristics more often associated with women than men; characterized by weakness and excessive refinement."

Yes - that's me. The dictionary could print an image of me next to the printed words to illustrate the definition.

The thing is that the first time I was called a sissy, I had no idea that I was one. All I knew was that I was "me" and I was not intentionally emulating females.

But the name-calling continued. And then there was bullying.

So I figured something was wrong with me and when things really got bad, I eschewed anything feminine.

After things settled down, I went back to my old ways and was myself again comfortably picking and choosing what I liked from the masculine and feminine aisles in that big department store called "Life."

Older and wiser, I eventually ignored the taunting, learned to embrace my self, and became my own man or should I say "woman."

Actually, I am somewhere in between. Circumstances prevent me from being a woman all the time. Some of the time, I am a feminine man and some of the time, I am a feminine woman, so you can call me "sissy;" it's a good fit.


  1. you said that certain circumstances prevent you from living full time as the person you are. Do you think that is the right path for you when its the path for someone else? I'am only asking because I am a young transsexual (22). I am only a crossdresser technically right now but I try and get out as much as I can. I have a feeling that down the road Im going to want to transition and i know that my family wont like it at all but Im going to want to anyway. I have a girlfriend and I know she has the same feeling that down the road I may want to transition but she doesn't know if she will like it 100% either because she signed up for a boyfriend (or as close to that as I'am which isn't much anymore)not a girlfriend.
    Would you say you are happy with your path or would you have done things a little differently because you think you may have had the chance to be much happier? I want to live as I know i was supposed to but i don't know if i want to risk loosing everyone in my life. but is it right to live for the people in your life and not for yourself?

    sorry if this all doesn't make much sense.


  2. Hi Nikki --- You make perfect sense.

    I like to think that I would be happier if I had chosen a different path, but who knows... there are no guarantees.

    I am committed to my wife of 30 years. She married a guy and knew nothing about the woman that I found in my male body, which by the way, I did not find until after we had been married awhile.

    I made a commitment to my wife back then and I am not turning my back on it. So I am a guy for my wife and a woman for me whenever I can.

    If I knew what I know today, I would have never married and would be living as a woman 24/7.

    I hope that helps.

  3. I love that dress in the picture from todays post. Any additional information about it???
    Thanks and love your blog.

  4. Hello Stana,
    From reading your story I'd say that you have the best of two worlds, love your blog.

    Happy heeling

  5. Thanks Stana. I'm going to go tomorrow and check it out.
    Where did you find the Archie comic?
    All the best,

  6. Kandi --- The Archie image came from deviantART.

  7. when I was a child, one of the things I was most afraid of was being called a sissy. Children can be cruel and I wanted to be liked. So I consciously buried whatever effeminate characteristics I had--and modeled my behavior after the other boys. It took years to realize what I had done-and why-but I've finally come to a place where not only do I wish I'd never listened, I delight in cultivating my femininity. I'm proud to be a sissy.

  8. If checked, I suspect many many cds were bullied in their schooldays.