Tuesday, September 8, 2009

why I am girly

My mother had a miscarriage before she had me.

Back then, physicians prescribed Diethylstilbestrol (DES) to prevent miscarriages in women who had had previous miscarriages.

Did my mother take DES? She is deceased, so I will never know. But, if she did take DES, then that may explain why I am the way I am.

DES can cause feminization of the male fetus and some studies suggest that otherwise-male children exposed to DES before birth may be more likely to be transsexual women than otherwise-male children who have not been exposed.

Although I will never know if my mother took DES, there are other indications that she did. For example, I have Gynecomastia and although the causes of common Gynecomastia remain uncertain, it has generally been attributed to an imbalance of sex hormones, that is, too much estrogen.

In addition to Gynecomastia, I am more womanly than the average guy in other ways. For example, my mannerisms and speech patterns have feminine traits and my emotions are more feminine than masculine.

A few years ago, I was doing outreach with three transsexuals at a local college and a student asked how the transsexuals' hormone regimen affected them. All three transsexuals admitted that they became more emotional after they began their hormone regimen, for example, one stated that she never cried at movies before taking hormones, but after taking hormones, she cried at movies all the time. I spoke up that I never took hormones and that I cry at movies all the time!

An overabundance of female hormones may be the cause of my proclivity for the feminine. And as I wrote here on Friday, my parents may have nurtured that proclivity.

Repeating what I wrote on Friday, "Dad was absent in my early life working two jobs to support his wife and kids. Mom cherished her firstborn child (me), coddled and pampered me, and instilled in me many traits that were considered 'feminine.' With Dad absent early-on, Mom was all I had to model myself after and that I did, which just compounded my feminization."

I had two strikes against me (too many female hormones and too little male role modeling) and when my third opportunity to swing came, I just stood there with the bat on my shoulder and was called out (of the male gender) on a called third strike.

I did not bother swinging because I liked myself. I was very satisfied with the results of the first two strikes. I liked the way things were turning out. I did not mind being a girly boy.

Except for some abuse from the macho boys and rejection by their female followers, being a girly boy was a pretty good deal. I could partake in whatever boy or girl pursuits interested me and not have to worry about tarnishing my image.

And when I took up the male pursuit of female impersonation, I found that I excelled at it because I already spoke and acted like a lady, I took to the art of cosmetics like a swan takes to water, and I could nearly fill a size 38B bra without any padding.

And so it goes.

(Wikipedia is the source for the medical information cited above.)


  1. Staci,
    I have long held the belief that my interests in crossdressing could have been influenced prior to my birth. My mother had three miscarriages prior to becoming pregnant with me. I know that she was treated with DES or other estrogen based compounds along with several months of bed rest later in her pregnancy.

    I was born in 1952 and DES/Estrogen treatment during pregnancies for women prone to miscarriage was common from the late 1940s to late 1960s.

    I have a full head of hair (once brown but now gray) with no male pattern baldness. If I did not shave for 3 days hardly anyone would notice since my facial hair only grows under my nose and on part of my chin. The cheeks are pretty smooth. I shave my legs only once a year because I like to not because I need to. I have virtually no hair growth on my arms, legs, back or chest. I also think that I have a somewhat oversized butt. Of course, at over 6' and over 200 lbs my lack of body hair alone does not make me an easy passer since my other physical traits are quite masculine.

    I see myself as a 'plain vanilla crossdresser/femulator' with no interest in taking hormones but I cried at my wedding and am prone to tears of joy in emotional settings. When the going gets tough I am also the guy you want in your foxhole.

    Great post.


  2. Pat --- The one thing that contradicts my theory about DES feminization is my full body hair suit!

  3. Staci, my mother took DES as well as many other drugs when she was pregant with me. I have often wondered if that had anything to do with me being the way I am. I do believe I am a 47xxy mosaic, as I have discussed on my own blog in the past. I have yet to have that verified but all of the symptoms are there including those that you mention in this post, among others.

    While DES may have something to do with those who are intersex, it does not explain all of the young CD's and TS's out there who were born after the days of DES. In our own group, there are many below the age of 35 or so.

    It wasn't long ago that I lived not to far from you. I am now on the West Coast. Too bad. I would love to meet and discuss the points you bring up in this post some time.

    Calie xxx

  4. Don`t worry , I think girly boys are beautiful , angelic even ! I mean hell I`ve been confused for a gay a number of times due to my slightly feminine features and mannerisms most likely picked up from my mother . I also cry a lot , am easily tickled and burst out laughing seemingly randomly .