Friday, May 2, 2008


I was thinking about this specific Q&A exchange at outreach on Wednesday:
…very pretty student sitting next to me said, "How do you react when guys are attracted to you?"

My answer was simple, i.e., that I never noticed any guys being attracted to me.

The student was incredulous and said, "You make such a pretty woman, so guys must be attracted to you."

I said that she might be right, but I never noticed probably because I did not want to attract guys, so I paid little attention to them.

After thinking about it, I did recall some instances when guys have been attracted to me. In each instance, the guy and I have been in vehicles; he in a car or truck and me in my car.

This makes sense because while I am in my car, it is unlikely that an observer can gauge my height. All they see is a woman's face, hairdo, and maybe hands with long painted nails grasping the steering wheel. They don't see a woman, who is 6'2" tall, so my height does not give away my birth gender while I am in my car.

On the other hand, I may look like a woman walking out and about, but my size will clue in many observers that I may not be what I seem.

Guys see me in a car and assume I am a woman, so they check me out at traffic lights or when they pass me by on the highways. On more than one occasion, I have noticed a guy in a vehicle ahead of me checking me out in his rear view mirror, and a few times, after initially spotting me in his rear view, the guy drives very slowly… to do what? Check me out some more, see if I will react, see if I will wave him over so we can get to know each other better… I dunno.

One time, I was the first car at a traffic light around 10 PM on a Saturday night. A guy solo in a vehicle approached from the crossroad on my right and made a left hand turn onto the street I was on. As his car crossed in front of me, our eyes met and he must have thought it was love at first sight because he immediately made a U-turn and pulled up next to me in the empty lane on my driver's side.

I could see him out of the corner of my eye waiting for me to respond, but I ignored him and prayed he did not follow me when the light turned green. He did not and I breathed a sign of relief.


  1. Hi Staci,
    Yes, I can see where you would attract a man's attention. Since you are Femulating you also have to be able to respond to such incidents.
    No eye contact is a good way of not encouraging would be suitors. And eye contact and a smile may be misunderstood as an invitation for some men. After all, they are hunters and you just very well might find yourself to be their next prey.
    It's wonderful to be able to express yourself by Femulating but it does come with a cost and male attention is one of them. It just comes with the territory. Just continue being careful.

  2. Staci,
    I'm surprised at you! While I'm with you, and don't actively seek their attention, in a sense it *IS* their national pastime. And in a way it's a very nice validation that they approve of the way you look and carry yourself! And I do remember one time I was walking across the parking lot to get into my car while two or three guys were watching me, and I impulsively swayed my hips a tad more... such a hussy!



  3. Deja - Good advice... I have to remember to be careful at all times.

    Linda - I just recalled other incidents that were very validating. Both occurred at Southern Connecticut State University while I was doing outreach. To make a bunch of long stories short, male students, professors, and other university staff reacted VERY positively to me while I was walking on campus and not sitting in my car.

  4. That seems pretty scary that people who don't know you would try to stop you and talk to you like that.

  5. But you know, I know a several girls who would really be upset if they walked into a room and everyone did not notice them. They absolutely love the attention! I'm no where near that way, but I don't think that any of us would want to be so plain that we are never noticed by anybody either.

  6. AnonymousMay 03, 2008

    Oh! There goes Staci being womanly in public again! (sigh... jealous!) :-)