Getting Your Hair Done

Is a man going to a hair salon instead of a barber shop another sign of the feminization of men? It depends on what he asks for when he sits down. A little off the ears? Probably just a haircut. A shampoo and set, with a few minutes under the dryer to catch up on the fashion magazines? Now we’re getting somewhere.

I’ve been on both sides of the salon mirror. In 2017, I went to my usual salon en femme, and the owner had no idea who I was. When I finally told her my name, she said, “Oh my God!” I was tickled that someone who knew my hair so well could look right at me and see a woman she’d never met.

Of course, most men who go to a salon simply want a haircut they like. But there’s a little freedom in being asked, “What would you like to do with your hair?” and realizing you can give an answer other than “the usual.” Maybe you want some layers. Maybe you’ve wondered what a little color would do. Maybe you just like having somebody shampoo your hair and would rather spend those five minutes enjoying it than explaining why.

If there’s any feminization in that, I’d say it’s in the way men are borrowing a pleasure long associated with women. The salon gives you time to look through a magazine, study a style you like and admit that, yes, you’ve given some thought to how you want to look when you walk out the door. That can feel like a small luxury, especially if you grew up thinking a haircut was an errand to get over with.

And for some of us, there’s more to it. A man might show his stylist a photo of a woman with a cut he likes and hear, “That would work with your hair.” Imagine how good it would feel to hear that if you’d been carrying the photo around for weeks, working up the nerve to ask.

I like to imagine that’s how it starts for the fellow in the waiting area, leafing through a fashion magazine. He came in for a trim. Then he spotted a pageboy he liked. By the time his stylist called his name, he’d already folded down the corner of the page.

One thing does lead to another.

Graham Norton femulating on the London stage in La Cage aux Folles.