Mall No More

The mall was one of my favorite places to go en femme.

Even if I was not planning to buy anything — a rare occurrence! — I loved to mince through the mall with my heels clicking and my derriere wiggling, browsing the racks with the other ladies. They seemed to have no issue with a 6-foot-2 lady in 3-inch heels joining them, arms full of clothing to try on in the dressing room.

By the way, to protect myself in case anyone had a problem with my presence, I always asked a saleslady where the dressing room was so I could try on my finds even though I usually could have found it with my eyes closed, having used that facility in some stores countless times.

They always directed me to the ladies’ dressing room, so if anyone complained, I could say, “But, officer, she told me to use the ladies’ dressing room!”

Yes, I fit in pretty well. The handful of odd looks I received were far outnumbered by the countless salespeople and customers, both female and male, who interacted with me as just another middle-aged lady shopping until she dropped.

Which reminds me…

Back when some stores required you to show a photo ID, usually a driver’s license, when using a credit card, more than once the cashier looked at my license and asked, “Is this your husband’s driver’s license?”

Those were the days!

Sadly, my favorite mall is now a dead mall. There are no stores there that I want to visit and, worse, there are no people to watch me mince by!

And so it goes.

Wearing Stylewe

Clay Adkins femulating in the 1999 film Forever Fabulous.