Thursday, January 18, 2024

It was terrifying!

“It was terrifying!” were the words of a novice femulator after she used a woman’s changing room to try on clothes for the first time. 

Been there, done that. It should be a pleasant experience not a terrifying experience, but just like anything else, practice makes perfect and after a few visits to the changing room, you won’t think twice about it. However, here are some tips I use to make sure that the experience is pleasant. 

👠 If a store associate is available when going to the changing room to try on your finds, play dumb and ask where the changing rooms are located (even if you know). I do this whenever possible for insurance purposes, that is, if somebody complains about a dude in the lady’s changing room, the dude can say that’s where the store associate told me to go.

👠 Take as many outfits as possible to try on when you go to the changing room. Some stores limit the number you can take in, some don’t, but in any case, go for the max in order to minimize the number of times you have to change your street clothes.

👠 Shop at smaller women’s clothing stores rather than big department stores. You won’t get a lot of hands-on assistance in large department stores, however, you usually will get assistance in smaller women’s clothing stores. For example, when you are ready to try on your finds, an associate will “start” a changing room for you (your very own queendom) and sometimes they will even put a sign on the door reserving that room for you with your femme name emblazoned on the sign. And if something is the wrong size, the associate will fetch another size to try on saving you the trouble of getting back into your street clothes to do the fetching yourself.

👠 In smaller stores, savvy associates will size you up and recommend clothing for you to try on. This has happened to me more than once and I ended up trying clothing on that looked great on me, but I would have never given a second look if the sales associate had not made the suggestion.

👠 Speaking of street clothes, wear an outfit that you can strip off and put back on easily. I own a sweater dress that has a full-length zipper in front, which is perfect for quick undressing/dressing. Jumpsuits also work well, but skirt suits don’t.

👠 The associates want to sell, so if they compliment you on what you try on, take the compliment with a grain of salt. If you go shopping with a friend, your friend’s compliments may not be any more valuable than the store associate’s because your friend may not want to hurt your feelings. So here is a way I get an independent appraisal of what I am trying on… I step out of the dressing room on the pretense of viewing myself in the full-length mirrors usually hung throughout the store. My goal is for another customer to see me while I am doing this. If they gush over what I am wearing, it is a bingo! Whenever I have done this, other customers always check me out while I am checking me out and if they like what they see, they let me know.

👠 For a quick self-appraisal, take a selfie or have an associate take your photo. The difference between what you “see” in a mirror and what you “see” in a photo is surprising ― trust the photo, not the mirror.

Shopping for women’s clothing is almost as much fun as wearing women’s clothing! So, you go girls and have some fun!

Source: Rue La La
Wearing Gracia

Alex Newell
Alex Newell femulating in an episode of television’s Glee.


  1. You're so right about the self appraisal. Even in male mode there is a great difference between what my mind sees and what others see. It can be scary. As to shopping and using a female dressing room the internet is great for researching whether or not a national or regional branded store has an affirmative policy for cross-dressers or transwomen. Decades ago, when it was best to still fly under the radar there were two stores in my area that had small signs under the hours of operation that cross-dressers were welcome and, if desired, could make an after hours appointment. One store went as far as having a local television station showcase the store.

  2. Ha! I never thought I'd quote my Dad here. One of his aphorisms was, "You never know just how you look, until you get your picture took". True that. The same is true for your own voice. When you hear a recording of your voice it's very different than how you think it normally sounds.

    1. So true! Sometimes I leave a message for myself on the landline phone and, yes, the voice sounds nothing like I imagine.

  3. I can relate to the "it was terrifying!" but am able to say I faced my fears and survived! I'm a pantyhose afficianado (ok...addict) and several years ago I saw a few pair of patterned hose in the local Nordstrom that I absolutely had to have. Normally, if questioned when buying hose, I play it off as the dutiful husband buying them for his wife. But something that time made me realize the ruse was not going to work (as if it ever does), so I took a deep breath and told the saleswoman I was purchasing them for myself. We had an all-too-brief conversation about the popularity of the patterns I selected, and I left the store with a spring in my step:)