Thursday, January 11, 2024

Achieve a Passing Level

By Tami Knight

Here are suggestions to help take your presentation to the passing level. If you are intent on enjoying passing well, these matter. I learned them all long ago and have improved my look greatly over time. 


See a cosmetic dermatologist for facial skin improvement, Retin-A, Botox, fillers, collagen building and facial hair removal. Women are all over these products and you should be as well. Little adjustments can make a big difference and there are so many ways to improve.  

Consider a female doctor who specializes in cosmetic work. Your doctor has certainly seen males before seeking a softer, youthful feminine appearance. So be candid. You can build a good relationship and see real progress by sticking with this.  

Over many years I have developed a close friendship with mine. She really enjoys improving and maintaining my look. We share many interests and often meet for a glass of wine and or dinner. Better skin, smaller pores, fewer wrinkles, less brown spots and softer facial contours mean less makeup. Less makeup is a game changer!

Get on the regular email updates from Dr. Brandith Irwin’s Skin Tour. I have learned so much from Dr. Brandith Irwin. With continual advancements in the cosmetic dermatological world, you have to keep up in order to know what products to ask for, where to go and what products or procedures to avoid.  

Don't be afraid to shop around for the best doctor for you. Yes, some, but not all procedures are expensive. So is beauty!


Lash extensions are amazing and you can wear a little or a lot. You won’t need eye liner or mascara anymore and your eyes will pop! Learn about the lengths of lashes available and degree of curl so you get the look you want. You can do a little and wear them full time or go nuts with a full set for that vacation. There is a glue softener for easy removal when you wish.  

I find these addicting and so do most of my friends who have them. The process is so easy, gentle and relaxing! Again, shop around for the best technician who can give you a look you will love. Start slow adding lashes just a bit longer than your own and build them up over time. 

Another alternative to achieving great eyes that I like is eyelash tinting, which is easy and quick. Combine this with an eyelash lift for a nice curl to your natural lashes that lasts a couple months. Again, you can lose the mascara!


Mine grow like weeds. To trim, I first brush down, hold them and snip away. Then I brush them upwards and trim again. Pull those strays.  

A natural brow line is what women go for today so don’t think you have to pluck them pencil thin. Just maintain them and reduce their length, shaping slightly as is appropriate for your face shape.  

Again, there are good wax technicians out there who will help you achieve a feminine or androgynous shape that will take you anywhere. Make certain that your brows match your hair color as well and your salon can color them in minutes.


Lose weight. Nothing can be more meaningful than getting thinner. Can you shoot for size 6, 8 or 10? If so, you are doing well. (I wear size 6-8 or woman’s medium.) 

There is the Golden Ratio (1:1.6) that suits our universal aesthetic sense. Google this ratio and take note! Your shoulders need to be very close to the same width as your hips and your waist in ratio with your hips. One can look passable in larger sizes with the right ratios.  

Getting slim and trim makes taking something off the rack and seeing it fit such a joy. So, start and do yoga. You need to move effortlessly and improve your posture. I often get compliments on mine. A straight back with our shoulders back walking and sitting is the ideal. Never slouch! I have gone to yoga class as Tami for years. The room is small, lighting is low and we do slow movement and hold poses. Simply wonderful once you get in the habit.

By putting all this together, over time, you may even hear a “Yes, Ma'am” when you least expect it.

Source: Cynthia Rowley
Wearing Cynthia Rowley

Julie Slowisnski
Julie Slowinski


  1. Slowinski!

  2. Julie Slowinski describes herself as a part-time princess and aspiring burlesque dancer in Chicago. A long-time contributor to Kandi's Land, but haven't heard anything from her in several years. Randi

  3. Rachel McNeillJanuary 11, 2024

    Having met many femulators who are new to public presentation, I believe the most important part of being more credible and comfortable with our feminine selves, is attitude.

    Men in our society are especially self-conscious about appearances. I don’t mean that they are vain. To the contrary, they generally don’t want to stand out in any way, to melt into the crowd. That would explain the sea of blue jeans and t-shirts out there.

    In male mode, I have no doubt or hesitation about wearing a blue pincord or seersucker suit in the summer with a straw skimmer. One seldom sees such a look outside a newsreel from the 1920s or 30s. I don’t care. i LIKE the look and wear it unashamedly during hot and sultry DC summers.

    The key to being the best feminine version of ourselves is to project self confidence. That comes with time spent as our female personas.

    I do agree with the idea of developing a relationship with a good dermatology practice. I spend a lot of time in the sun, as I am a runner. Dermatologists have lots of treatments that can help with aging skin, sun pigmentation, and loss of collagen. The best treatment is prevention: wear a good quality sun screen whenever you go outside.

    One other treatment that helps, especially in the winter is a professional manicure (with or without polish) but definitely with a paraffin dip to moisturize skin. I’ve noticed that genetic women seldom have badly cracked and dry hands in the winter. If you can’t afford that, use a good quality moisturizer regularly.

  4. Ms. Slowinski certainly has perfected these feminization secrets...and many more!

  5. I myself NEVER wear any kind of coat and tie outfit in the summer and NEVER a seersucker outfit. My goto apparel is a dress, and a sleeveless or short sleeve dress in the summer..
    I wear my dresses with confidence as I go about my business as John.
    I live in the DFW, Texas area where summers are brutal where highs exceed 38 deg. C/100 deg. F for months on end.
    I agree that it is important to use a moisturizer on the hands. I also apply moisturizer to my face and arms.

  6. It's difficult for me to have a lot of self-confidence when I am six foot and 200 pounds without heels. In male mode I am 42-38-40 which is just as good a figure as a lot of women I see. I can wear an empire dress that further hides the fact I do not have a Barbie figure, but that six foot height and bulk attracts attention.