Monday, November 16, 2020

Coping with the COVID-19

By Carollyn Olson

Coping with the COVID-19 virus has been a struggle for those around the world including many of my crossdressing friends.

Even though some states and counties are re-opening in various stages, virtually, due to the pandemic, the world had stopped for many months. For me and my girl friends, there are no more nights on the town, dinner at lovely restaurants, movies, social activities... they have all drawn to a halt. What is a girl to do?

For me, the hiatus, except for a couple of semi-dress-up sessions at home, gave me a chance to reflect on my 40 years of crossdressing and to clear out my wardrobe of items I no longer wear.

I smiled, laughed and cried with joy when looking back on the many times I have dressed as a woman since 1980. I thought of all the wonderful times out and-about on my own or with friends, dinners at well-know establishments, out on the town with the girls and attending the local gala every year. 

I have been blessed to have always been accepted in public and never to have been hassled. I’ve made friends with genetic females, sales associates in major department stores and a couple of bartenders, too. 

I never expected life when dressed as a woman would be so good.

Going through my wardrobe was difficult. There are so many memories mixed in with too many clothing items and pairs of heels. How and when did I compile so many dresses, tops, skirts, etc.? Like my dear friend Tawni, when she went through her collection recently, every “unneeded” item was hard to give away. However, when the boxes were packed and loaded in the car for delivery to the local battered women’s shelter, I had a feeling of joy as I knew my clothes would be helpful to a lady in need. 

Tawni had even a rougher time as I did departing with a small part of her wardrobe during the lockdown in her home town. 

“I first decided to clean the closet!” she told me recently. 

“Dumb me!! That led me to see that I had spread my stuff out throughout the house hidden away here and there like a pack rat or a dog with a bone who buries it and can’t remember where it was. So I cleaned and organized my primary closet and discovered blouses were hidden amongst my drab clothes, shoes hidden everywhere. Shoes, blouses, dresses, skirts, makeup, wigs, foundation support garments. Ee gads! So much stuff!

“I became completely overwhelmed and felt so foolish at some of what I have,” Tawni continued. “A boa jumpsuit? Sheer bodysuit? Goth black velvet dress way to small for me! I broke down in tears that I can’t fit into some of this any longer and that I am getting older. So dividing into Keep and Not to Keep piles was very emotional for me – much more so than with any of my drab clothing.

“I am a wild, mad, rich girl with way too many and much of everything?!? I sorted and sorted and in the end, I could not let go of any of the stockings, pantyhose, corsets, shoes, skirts or blouses. I actually wanted to wear them in that instant and on the spot.

“After a difficult soul-searching and mind-searching day, I only have a very, very small pile of items to let go. I guess I am going to have to live forever and age backwards!”

The following is what some of my other lovely sisters did to cope with COVID-19.

Heidi used her isolation to post a number of educational and fun videos on YouTube while raiding her spouses’ closet. Click here to view her videos.

Teri Lynn wrote, “Well, I miss the monthly local group meetings and had just planned to go to bi-monthly meetings. It would have been double the fun. I also miss going out in Teri-mode to shop for clothes as I don't buy what I can’t try on. Going out and wearing a mask defeats the purpose of makeup to look nice? So if I have to wear a mask, I'm not going out.”

Stephanie said, “I stocked up on good books, enjoyed the company of housemates (for me, it’s my wife and three 20-something daughters), supported local restaurants with take-out food, didn't get too caught up on the non-essential things (including dressing opportunities) and living in a small town, there’s less temptation to go out and fewer people when you do!”

Silke (who lives en femme about 20/7, not 24/7) wrote, “The first thing that came to my mind is a wider opportunity to dress since I have been confined to my home office for work. I now wear more women's clothes than ever before and do so daily! Unless one has to attend a video conference and appear visually, no one cares what clothing one is wearing on the job at home. For example, my wife is a freelancer and while I am engaged in her business, I usually wear women’s clothes so her ‘personal secretary’ is ready when called. I wonder if it will make a difference for a crossdresser, who returns to usual office work after the pandemic – might she (he) stick to wearing women's clothing?

“We were under a limited lockdown, which means that walks outside are permitted, but only a few people are out and about. When my spouse and I were out and about recently, I wore pumps, tan nylons, women’s leggings, unisex sweatshirt and a tightly cut women’s jacket. Handbag, of course! Plus my long natural curls! The very few people that crossed our paths could care less what I was wearing and of which gender I am. And if they do – oh well, then let ‘em!”

Lucy said, “Every time I tell people all the projects I am getting done and how I have been making the best of a really bad situation, people get upset with me. Like I’m somehow enjoying this crisis and having too much fun?

“I live on a small forested farm in the country and I have been working for 33 years. Since I am finally retired and because of the virus, I am getting huge projects done that my spouse and I have wanted to do for 33 years! Everything from cleaning out and organizing all of Lucy’s closets and drawers, to learning how to use a sewing machine, to converting a spare bedroom into a huge walk-in closet for my wife, completely rebuilding our central vacuum cleaner and house water softener, cutting down trees and pruning bushes. I also learned how to use a box grader attachment for my tractor to level out all the gravel roads that have become severely rutted over the years due to gophers and water run off. So, yes, it is exhausting to even think about all the things I have already done and have yet to do. But it is so gratifying! I am coping with COVID by immersing myself in big projects that I otherwise would never have had the time.”

“I have to admit, one of the big reasons I retired at age 62 was that I had a really close friend, who was younger than I, who got pancreatic cancer out of nowhere and died three months later. This had a big effect on me. I really had no plans to retire, but my friend’s story really brought home to me that no one lives forever. One can’t predict how long you have and no one on their deathbed says, ‘I only wish I had worked more.’ So I thought long and hard and decided that I needed to retire, while my spouse and I are still reasonably healthy and active, so we could actually do the things we want to do. My wife encouraged me to retire despite being at the top of my career, at least in terms of earning potential. So I did. Now, I’m not going to waste a minute of whatever time I have left.”

The loss of thousands upon thousands of people worldwide to the virus has been devastating and the continued emphasis to “stay safe” and to follow the rules established by local authorities is a must. If you are required to wear a face mask, please do so. By protecting yourself and others, and with regular prayer, we can beat this terrible invisible disease.

Wearing New York & Company
Wearing New York & Company

Christian De Sica (center) and Massimo Boldi (right) party with other femulators in the 1992 Italian film Anni 90.

Christian De Sica (center) and Massimo Boldi (right) party with other femulators in the 1992 Italian film Anni 90.

You can view the femulation on YouTube.


  1. "...dividing into Keep and Not to Keep piles was very emotional for me..."

    Yes, very much that. As much as certain bloke clothes have memories associated with them, those recollections are no way near as strong or as dear to me. But, and as you say, there are times when you have to let go. I think it's easier when an item could help another person feel good.

  2. Carollyn Olson is so pretty