Tuesday, April 2, 2019

Sit to Pee

Ms. Stana,

How do you act when you use the ladies' restroom when you are femulating? What do you do to use the toilet when you are in a dress or skirt?

Ms. Stacey Anne Smith, Ms.Trixie and Ms. Brooke want to know!

🚽 🚽 🚽

Hi Ladies,

Your mileage may vary depending on where you live, but here in Connecticut, the courts say to use the restroom that matches your gender presentation. So Stana uses the ladies' room and Stan uses the men's room.

Under such a policy, I feel completely safe using the ladies' rooms in Connecticut. I don't give it a second thought.

Actually, I use the ladies' room wherever I find myself ― New York, Ohio, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania ― in locales that do not have Connecticut's diverse restroom policy. There is no way I am going to enter the men's room dressed to the nines in a skirt and heels! So I take a deep breath, gird my loins and use the ladies' room.

The average civilian does not examine every person they encounter to try to determine if they are trans or not. Unless the transperson presents in a way that will alert a civilian that something is amiss (or not a Miss), the transperson will blend into the background of the civilian's daily routine.

The same thing occurs when a civilian uses a restroom. They assume that all the ladies in the ladies' room are cisgender females. In fact, a non-cisgender female in the ladies' room is so foreign to civilians that it takes some doing to make them think otherwise. So if they see a tall woman in the ladies' room, they are likely to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Some girls recommend getting in and out of the ladies' room as fast as possible, but in my opinion, a woman using the ladies' room in a hurried and perhaps furtive manner may raise a few eyebrows. When I use the ladies' room, I always put my best high-heeled foot forward. I walk into the ladies' room as if I belong, do my business, wash my hands, primp in the mirror and exit when I am done. All the while, I try not to bring attention to myself by acting inappropriately.

My appearance in the ladies' room occasionally attracts attention in a positive way when another women compliments me on my appearance or asks me where I bought my shoes or whatever and I find myself engaging in a conversation with a lady in the ladies' room. How affirming is that?

Actually, I dread using the ladies' room for its intended purpose. Usually, the stalls are too tight for an Amazonian like me and it is difficult to get half undressed in that confined space, which is essentially what you have to do in order to do what you have to do; raise your dress or lower your slacks, lower your pantyhose, lower your panties and if you are wearing a girdle, you have to deal with that, too.

And after you do your business and wipe yourself, you have to get dressed in that confined space. That's why I closely check myself out in the mirror after exiting the stall to make sure everything is where it is supposed to be.

And while you are in the stall, don't put your bag on the floor ― yuck! Hang it on the hook that is usually mounted on the inside of the stall door.

And most importantly, remember to sit to pee!

Source: Nine West
Wearing Nine West (Source: Nine West)

Buster Keaton
Buster Keaton (in dark wig and dark dress) and other actors femulating in the 1930 film Doughboys.


  1. Also, ladies, don't be surprised if other women talk to you! Expect it. Sometimes, I take the initiative and compliment another woman on her outfit, or opine on whatever common event we're at (play, museum, etc).

  2. Hi Stana,

    Thanks so much for this! You’ve hit on something that concerns all of us who are Out and About. I second all of your suggestions. I’ve used the ladies’ room for years (even at Interstate rest stops in NC!) with nary a problem, and all of us should follow your advice. At first I found it daunting, but now it is just second nature. I would add two things – always sit so you can hear the tinkle, and always wipe yourself – just as other women do.

    This brings up a point. Growing up, I always sat on the toilet – it just felt right and was less messy; not until later did I learn guys are supposed to stand. I still sit down whenever I can. I wonder how many others do the same?

  3. I agree with you 100%. In every way, blend in - and don't over think it!
    I remember my first trip to a public ladies' loo. We were at a casino (myself and 2 female friends). Early in the evening, I had shared with Sarah that I had never been to the Ladies Necessary. So when the time came and she mentioned she needed to hit the loo, and Linda agreed, I hesitated for a second - just long enough for Sarah to grab my arm and lead me into the Holy of Holies. And - - - nothing happened! No alarms went off, no one called Security, we all just entered our stalls, attended to business, and that was that! (But I will agree that it took me a LOT longer to get everything back in place than it took them!)(giggle)

    1. I do hope you three did follow MANDATORY 'girl rules' by ALL THREE standing SIMULTANEOUSLY, and walking to the loo SINGLE FILE; after the completion of 'business', you return to the seating area, to sit at a DIFFERENT TABLE, as if you had just arrived. ;-)

    2. LOL - were you there with us???

    3. Unfortunately, no. But I have been to like, a MILLION dance clubs, chasing women IN GUY MODE! a)approach a table of eligible single women. b)ask the 'girl of your dreams' to dance. c)observe the clique make eye contact between each other. d) any one woman at the table who offers 'the stink eye', means the woman you asked, must say 'NO'. As retaliation, I would then ask each and every one at the table, if each would like to dance. 'NO', 'NO', 'NO', 'NO', ect... THEN the ladies head to the loo.... To 'reset' the game.....

  4. About putting your bag on the hook.....The New Jersey Turnpike had a rash of thefts of someone reaching over the door and grabbing the purse's. The Turnpike Authority removed all the door hooks. The thieves then went and re-installed the hooks.

  5. In a gay bar it's fun to stand and pee -- after all, I am a man in a dress. But in the ladies room I just walk in like I'm supposed to be there, do my "business", check myself in the mirror, maybe refresh my lipstick and leave. There are plenty of tall women and if we're presenting as women people "see" what they expect to see. And we sit to pee because we don't want the other ladies to hear our stream hitting the water from 3 feet away, or not see the front of our shoes when we're in there!

    I really do look like a man in a dress, but I conduct myself as if I were a woman tending to her business. Women do look in the mirror and make friendly eye contact. Imagine how surprised I was the first time a woman complimented my dress and told me she wished her hair were as pretty as mine (I wear my hair long and don't use wigs). As usual I was self-deprecating and was told I looked better than I gave myself credit for. In my mind, I danced out of the ladies room and was on a cloud the rest of that evening.

  6. The picture of Buster Keaton reminds me what a great actor/comedian Keaton was. I bring this up because there's a new restoration of Keaton's masterpiece, "The General" coming to theaters (it's in Baltimore May 11). It's one of the great American films of all time.Keep an eye out for it and try to see this treasure of a movie. You'll be glad you did.

    1. Thanks for the heads up. I love Keaton and hadn't heard of this new restoration!

  7. I look enough like a woman, even in men's clothes, that I get strange looks when I go to the men's restroom. I have even in situations where men, upon seeing me leave the men's restroom, bolt for the women's restroom. I have to announce in my masculine bass voice, "This is the men's room", and point to the sign on the door. I have seen a woman follow me into the men's restroom and upon seeing the row of urinals, she said, "oops".
    And no, I have not been in women's restrooms unless they are "one holers" (single toilets).

  8. I recommend you 'start small'. My first foray into 'womans loo land', after much internal deliberation , was the single occupancy unit at the TACO BELL.
    I chose a quiet Sunday afternoon, with a restaurant with a nearly empty parking lot. After 'mission accomplished'(!); I checked myself in the mirror- hair, lipstick, outfit and left. Upon the exit, a staff member taking a break outside the restaurant, wished me a 'good day'. Whatta a rush!
    Just act like 'you own it'. Velma, 6'-3" in boots, age 65, here in NC.

  9. Is there a way to know what is the restroom policy for other state (Nevada, California...)?

    1. These links may help:



    2. Thanks a lot! ;)