Monday, March 19, 2018

A Full Femme Friday

Friday was a full day out en femme. My primary objective for the day was to go to my alma mater, the University of Connecticut, to attend the True Colors Conference and conduct a workshop titled "Cross-Living: Out Among the Civilians." There were also other planned stops during the day.

Getting going was a problem. My 15-year-old blind dog started barking while I was doing my makeup, so I had to stop what I was doing, put her on a leash and take her outside in case she had to do business with the great outdoors. This occurred four times and as a result, I left the house about 30 minutes later than I intended. Once on the road, I encountered a five-mile backup on the Interstate due to a truck fire, so I lost another 30 minutes.

By the way, I wore a houndstooth sheath dress from Dress Barn, black opaque tights from Hue, black bag and black patent high heel pumps from Payless, a black scarf and white and gold watch from Avon and silver hoop earrings from Napier. I also wore a white fake fur jacket from Fashion Bug.

My first stop was the Christmas Tree Shop to exchange a purchase that was broken out of the box. It was actually my sister's purchase and she planned to make the 80-mile roundtrip to exchange her broken purchase. Since the store was on my way to UConn, I offered to make the exchange for her and so I did.

It was uneventful. I had to deal with a woman staffing the customer service desk and a man who fetched the replacement from the stockroom. No one reacted negatively to me and other customers paid me no mind. The only concern I had was loading and unloading a 20-pound box between my car and a shopping carriage without breaking a nail!

I arrived at UConn, parked my car and walked two blocks to the Student Union, which was the epicenter of the conference. The weather was similar to the past few True Colors Conferences — temperature hovering around the freezing point with a steady brisk wind that made it feel a lot colder and caused me worry that my wig might take flight!

After checking in to obtain my workshop paperwork and ID badge, I immediately began encountering old friends and acquaintances (Arlene, Diana, Holly, Lee Ann, Maryann, Robin and another Robin).

I also ran into Bob, who is someone I see at most ham radio conventions I attend. Even though he is openly gay, I did not expect to see him at True Colors Conference and he was just as surprised to see me. He was staffing the booth for a church that supports LGBTQ folks. We talked about his church and my involvement with the conference. As we parted ways, I said, "See you at Hamvention in two months!"

My workshop was at 1:15 PM in another building. Since it was lunch time, my assigned room would be empty, so I decided to go there to get my act together in peace and quiet. I had requested a room with a computer and large display to view photos of me out among the civilians. Turned out that the room had a huge display — approximately 6 x 8 feet, but I forgot my USB flash drive of photos. However, I was able to use the computer to access the Internet and use my blog and flickr account for the visual portion of my workshop.

I had a small, but attentive audience. No one walked out on me and there were pertinent questions and comments.

I emphasized that whether you think you pass or not, just get out there and experience the real world as a woman because in this day and age (especially in our neck of the woods), most civilians won't notice you and even if they do, they probably won't care.

Then I went on to tell them about my positive experiences out among the civilians, especially those times that I seemed to be accepted as a woman by other women. That triggered a comment from one of the students, who said that initially she thought I was a cisgender female! Her comment made my day, but it kind of blew the premise of my workshop out of the water.

And so it goes.

Source: Madeleine
Wearing Madeleine (Source: Madeleine)

Helmut Zierl
Helmut Zierl (center) femulating in the 1997 German television series Ein Mann steht seine Frau (A Man Stands His Wife).


  1. I’m so glad I took your advice, Stana, and starting getting out in the clothes I love so much. Even though I prefer to present as a male in pretty clothes without any makeup or wig(picture Corporal Klinger from MASH), I have had nothing but positive experiences. I was out last Wednesday in a lovely skirt, blouse, black stockings and heels. I went to the grocery store and two clothing stores including my favorite dress shop Talbots! I tried on outfit after outfit and felt welcome and respected. It was a wonderful day.

  2. Dear Stana - love your outfit, very professional