Friday, September 25, 2015

Out Among the Civilians

Dear Stana,

When femulating out among the civilians, what are important things to keep in mind?


Hi Jan,

When I started femulating in public, I was afraid that people would recognize me as a crossdresser. As a result, I looked and acted as if I had something to hide; I walked with my head down, looked away quickly if I saw someone looking at me, and I avoided encounters with teenagers, with males, with anybody!

People who noticed, might wonder why I was acting as if I had something to hide and when they looked closer, they might figure out why ― because I was a guy crossdressing in public.

I was outing myself!

Once I figured out the error of my ways, I was determined not to out myself again. Since then, I have followed three rules that have helped me achieve that goal:

1.  Act as if you belong, so walk tall and strut your stuff.

2.  Don't look away furtively if other people look at you. Do the opposite: look back at them and disarm them with a smile.

3.  You are a beautiful woman and you should be happy about it, so smile, smile, smile.

Best Wishes,


Do you need advice concerning femulation or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at

Source: ShopBop
Wearing Alice + Olivia.

Gender Switch Day
Student femulators embracing Gender Switch Day.


  1. They never did anything interesting, like "gender switch day" back when I was in school. There weren't even Halloween Costume Days. The kids nowadays are so lucky!


    1. Same at my school. The only chance to crossdress in my school was to do something in the annual musical. One year, the basketball team did a number in bad drag. Another time, two guys did Tiny Tim and Miss Vicki - the guy doing Vicki appeared in a wedding gown and actually looked convincing.

  2. "Act as if you belong." Truer words were never spoken Stana when it comes to being out among civilians. I learned early on that self confidence was the absolute best way to move around in public without issue. Even when you are 5 feet 14 inches tall like I am, having confidence and exuding a sense that you belong always gets the job done.


    1. I'm 5'14" too and since I developed confidence, height does not stop me from going out.

  3. Stana, All the ladies want to know if you were in the military or if you grew up under a military influence? Usually the people that I know who say a term like out among the civilians have some sort of a military influence or military background. Thanks and you go gurl, on behalf of the ladies, Stacey Anne Smith.

    1. I was not in the military nor did I have some sort of military influence.

  4. Confidence breeds confidence. I, like you experienced all you relate. Now I act as if I own the place, the situation, the moment. It took me a long time to be where I am.

    To dress like I do, full on "retro", seamed stockings, a hat and these days a walking umbrella takes, not just confidence but courage.

    It comes but only with practise.

    1. Courage is part of it, but I never think about being courageous. I just think about being myself.

  5. I wish we had days like that growing up too.