Monday, June 29, 2015

Passing My Age

I wrote this piece over 10 years ago for my old blog. It is amazing how little has changed!

She's got legs; she knows how to use them*

Personally, I think that my legs are ok, but other people have convinced me that they are more so. My mother often said I had beautiful legs (and that I "should have been a girl with legs like yours"). My wife and other genetic women have admitted that I have nicer legs then they do. Other members of my support group (you know who you are) have complimented me on my legs, too.

I am tall, so my legs are long; maybe their length causes an optical illusion making them look better than they really are. I don't know, but I am not going to argue with success. If other people are happy with my legs, then I am happy with them, too.

So, I ask myself, "Since my legs are such a great asset, why not show them off?" I usually respond by wearing skirts and dresses with short hemlines (sometimes scandalously short hemlines) and high heels that are 2, 3, or 4 inches high.

Adding 4-inch heels to my 5-foot, 14-inch stature, I standout in a crowd topping out at an Amazonian 6 and 1/2 feet! When I am out in that crowd, some people may think I am an Amazon; other people may think I am a man in drag.

One rule of thumb for passing is that you should dress your age, i.e., if you are an XX-year-old crossdresser, you should dress like an XX-year-old genetic woman. At my age (XX equals 40-something-plus) that means long skirts and lower heels or worse. By "worse" I am referring to the fact that these days genetic women dress like genetic men! Trousers and slacks, not skirts and dresses, is the norm especially among women my age.

Last month, I dined with four other T-girls at City Steam in downtown Hartford. The place was full of 20 and 30-somethings, men and women alike. Do you know how many people I saw in the restaurant wearing a skirt or a dress? Two: one of the T-girls I was dining with and me! I did not see one genetic woman in a skirt or dress. The temperature was hovering around 0 degrees that evening, so that had something to do with the dearth of hemlines among the distaff side of the crowd. Yet, you would think that there would be a few skirts around the knees of some genetic women, but there were none.

If I wanted to pass that night, I should have worn slacks, not the short black skirt that I did wear. And if I really wanted to pass that night, I should have worn flats instead of high-heeled boots, socks instead of pantyhose, a plaid shirt instead of an animal-print top, boxers instead of a panty girdle, a t-shirt instead of a bra. Also, I should have nixed the make up and left my pocketbook, wig, and jewelry at home. Then, I would have passed easily, but as a man.

In my opinion, passing is overrated. If I have to make a choice between dressing to pass or dressing to thrill, I will choose dressing to thrill every time. Sometimes, I dress to pass, but that is no fun. For starters, when I dress to pass, I usually am not very happy with the clothing I wear. To make matters worse, when I dress to pass, I constantly worry about passing. I cannot enjoy myself out en femme. It is a real drag!

On the other hand, when I dress to thrill, I am very happy with the way I look and I can be myself because I do not worry about passing. What is interesting is that sometimes when I am dressed to thrill, I pass!

Here is my favorite passing-when-I-wasn't-trying story. Years ago, I did office girl drag for Halloween at work. I ran my pantyhose early in the day, so during lunch, I went to CVS to buy another pair. I did not want to cause a commotion, so when I entered the store, I went straight to the first employee I saw and explained my predicament, i.e., I had run my pantyhose and needed another pair for my Halloween costume. The woman I spoke to responded with, "The pantyhose are in the last aisle, ma'am." And so it goes.

So when I go out en femme, I am likely to dress to thrill and show off my legs rather than dress to pass. If I do pass, then that is just an extra thrill.

* You all probably recognize that line from ZZ Top's hit recording Legs. I wonder if you remember a brief T-moment in the video for that song. In the video, leggy girls, who are dressed over-the-top, are shopping in a boutique outfitting for another girl who is more conservatively dressed. The T-moment occurs when one of the leggy girls grabs a dress from a guy who is holding the garment up to himself to see how he looks in that dress.

Source: ideel
Wearing Tart

Josh Kenney
Actor Josh Kenney femulates on stage in Fabulous!
The Queen of the New Musical Comedies


  1. AnonymousJune 29, 2015

    I will never dress to pass! I will always present dressed as a classic styled mature woman with fashion sense and with a bit of statement.

    I love bolder older ladies, be they eclectic or Hollywood or upper urban crust. My styles mix what I think are the best from young and old. I might wear skinny jeans and heels but they will be with a tunic top not a crop top. Paying attention to what you have on rather then putting something on is key. And when I'm presenting, I do it always with the attitude that I am a lady not a man. I'm always treated that way. What they say after I leave is what they will say, I just hope that if conversation includes the word man, it also hope it includes the words put together well, had taste and was courageous enough to be himself. 99% of dressing as a woman is attitude. It's a shame some of the attitude has left a lot of the ways everyday women dress. What was the song from "hello dolly"? There is no Monday in your Sunday clothes!

  2. AnonymousJune 29, 2015

    I was coming out of the Post Office a while back and noticed my wife in the car staring intently at me. I was wearing an ankle length button up skirt but only had it buttoned down to just over my knees. That way as I walked, my legs would flash in and out of the skirt. Anyway, back to my wife staring at me to the point where I thought something was wrong. When I opened the drivers side door and slid into the seat she looked at me and said, "Lady, you have got some SEXY legs!" Ever since she's called me Sexy Legs as one of her terms of endearment.

  3. Sally StoneJune 29, 2015

    Stana, you are my hero for stating publicly that it's okay for us girls to dress to thrill instead of trying to blend in. Like you, I love wearing skirts and high heels. It's a sexy look that garners attention, but I'm not afraid to admit that dressing in such a way is pleasing as well as empowering. What's the fun in dressing down anyway? Personally, I want to stand out and life is too short to waste a "girl" day trying to be invisible.

  4. I sometimes quip that I have two innate talents. I tan well and I eat well. The eating well is an ongoing problem with my femulating but my legs and the rest of me still tends to tan well and my wife has often commented about how nice they look. Recently she quipped that she knows that I almost always wear pantyhose but that with my nice tanned legs the hose is not needed.

  5. I totally agree with your article. I am a tall girl as well but I always look forward to the challenge of looking good and paying attention to detail to have a great look. As i've gotten older I care less about passing and more about the thrill of it....And as you say they very often will come together. I think most of that is because of the added benefit of self confidence and let's go out girls, look our best and have fun..!!!