Monday, February 3, 2014


Saturday morning, I stopped by my sister's apartment to drop off her Avon order and found her going through a box of stuff from my mother's apartment. (Mom died years ago, but only recently has my sister begun going through Mom's stuff.)

"Here --- this is yours," my sister said to me and handed me a stuffed manilla envelope.

"What is it?" I asked.

I opened the envelope and withdrew its contents: five old dress patterns for styles from the mid- to late-1960s.

"What do you mean these are mine?" I asked.

"Mommy bought them to make dresses for you," she explained.


"She even made one dress for you --- this one," she said, as she pointed to one of the patterns I held in my hands.

"She was going to give it to you as a birthday gift. But then she changed her mind because she didn't want to embarrass you."

(Note that although my sister and I are very close, she does not support me much on the trans front.)

"So, she knew," I replied.

"Dad knew, too, and he talked her out of giving the dress to you."

I always suspected that my parents knew and now my suspicions were confirmed.

"Wow! What happened to the dress?" I asked.

"I have no idea," my sister replied, "Let's change the subject."

I don't know what was the next subject because my mind was still on the dress my mother made for me and how my life might have been different if I had only confided in her.

Source: Female Mimics

Femulator in street style circa 1964.

Source: ShopBop

Wearing Phillip Lim.


  1. WOW! ..What a revelation for you. ..'bout like when I learned my father had panties and bras in his drawer. ..learned well after he died.

  2. Once my brothers and I had all started school my mother went back to work doing piece work sewing in a dress factory to help support our family. The dresses that she sewed were sold at upscale stores such as Lord & Taylor's, B. Altmans and also Macy's. She was paid for each dress that she sewed and was allowed to purchase any dresses that she sewed for the cost of the material. I had several female cousins and my mother would bring home dresses that she had sewed at work for my cousins. I was jealous but kept my feelings under wraps.

    If these were patterns that your mother had purchased with an eye towards sewing one or more for you, then I would suggest that you consider finding yourself a friendly seamstress and ask her if she can make you a dress from one of those old patterns. I think that you would find it a fair and honorable tribute to your mother and her love and understanding of you. It would provide you with a subtle but loving recollection of your parents, especially your mother. Plus, at least for me, I love the dress styles from that era.


    1. Pat (and Stana),

      Great suggestion to have one of the dresses made for you from the patterns. It would be a tremendous tribute to your mother and definitely a wonderful reminder of your parents.

      Not sure how well your sister would like it, though!


  3. Dear Stana,

    Although it's unfortunate that you never knew until now that both parents realized your very strong feminine inclinations and desires, I imagine finding out now pointed two rather positive things (in my opinion):

    1. your Mother knew you and understood you so well, and the making of a dress for you showed she accepted your femininity, and still loved you very much;

    2. even though your Father talked your Mother out of giving you that very special birthday present, it's good he never chided you (or worse) for being a feminine son (of course, I'm assuming this, but if that were true, it seems he was a pretty good and understanding Father).

    I hope you felt good after your sister's revelation. It was good of her to share the facts with you, especially since she is not supportive on the trans front. It was kind of her to tell you about your parents' knowledge of your strong feminine side. A less kind sister would have not ever given you the manila envelope and told you of your parents' insightful knowledge of you.

    Thank You for sharing this very personal story with us.



  4. It might have changed your relationship with both parents, maybe not for the better with your father. Things, it seems, happen for a reason. At least you know... that's important.

  5. What might of been. Call doc brown and ask him to fire up the DeLorean. I m glad your sister didn't tell you that your mom sewed the dress and gave to her instead.of course on the bright side it would have been there to try on just remember it s NEVER too late, but you re running out of time I know you ll figure something out

    By the way I went to my first job interview EVER in girl mode, it s for outside sales
    The interview went great, I feel very confident, but I m keeping my fingers crossed none the less wish me luck. I m hoping to start trend!

  6. Stana:

    You have been given a gift that is absolutely priceless, that you will cherish the rest of your life. The gift is a revelation that validates you more than any of us could. I am in awe of the depth of your mother's love for you and of your father's love shown by his forbearance. For a man of his generation to not attempt to change you is huge. You are loved more than you ever know.


  7. Parents know their kids, and this goes for EVERYTHING! Better late than never, at least you know NOW a bit about your parents you never knew.

    Good for you, Stana! Great post!

  8. Thanks to the great spell caster know as Dr.Ekpiku, for bringing back my man who has left me for the past 5months. But now i have be able to have my man through the help of Dr.Ekpiku, again all thanks to you and your Oracle Dr.Ekpiku. People out there having this same problem i have before, should please contact Dr. Ekpiku on for i know him will help you, just like him did for me