I am a life-long TV, so I feel able to comment.
My advice to nearly all those who contribute to your blog is simple:
Throw away the cameras and look long and hard in the mirror. Look at the women around you; you should blush with embarrassment. Cover your shoulders and knees and get rid of those “long luscious locks.” Very few women over 40 look good with long hair. None of you (and me) really look anything like women and that is a tragedy.
By the way, I have no photos of me. The last that were taken were 30 years ago for an article in The Times. No! It was 40 years ago – time flies.
Stop being delusional. A mirror does not lie except at a fairground.
Look at the professional femulators and actors. Even they with all the advantages – professional makeup, expensive wigs, etc., are rarely convincing and face the reality of a cruel life.
We’ve all been dealt a lousy hand!
My response...
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. That is especially true if you are a male-to-female transperson.
We have a lot going against us. Compared to the quintessential woman, we do not compare favorably. We are too tall, too heavy, too wide, too hairy. Our voices are too deep, our faces too masculine, and our bodies too unshapely. We are just too too.
So should we all hide in the closet because we don’t resemble the quintessential woman?
Just like my trans sisters, there are cisgender women who don’t resemble the quintessential woman. Nonetheless, we are all women and we try to make the best with what we have.
And by the way, the mirror does lie. I always look fab when I look at my femme self in the mirror; to see what I really look like, I take a selfie to return to planet Earth.
And so it goes.
(Danger, danger, Will Robinon, this post is a summer rerun.)
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| Wearing Leau |
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| Walter Goggins femulating on television’s Sons of Anarchy. |
Dear Angry TV, we may not all present as well all the time but when we do , we feel feminine inside. I need to try a longer wig but my skirts stay Stana Short Hugs Brenda, BTW it is normal to be frustrated and angry sometimesbut do try a selfie….you may be surprised
ReplyDeleteHi Stana,
ReplyDeleteI need to take exception about the length of hair women over 40 are now wearing. Just last week, my wife and I were talking and I asked her if older women are now wearing their hair longer? She confirmed my observation telling me that COVID caused delays in getting their hair cut which, of course, leads to longer hair and many have kept their hair long!
You look fine with shorter hair. In my case, I use longer hair to hide my large 16-inch neck which, unfortunately, is not common among women. Given my lack of enough feminine clues, I don't need this masculine one adding to the overall effect.
I, as a man, have skin that looks younger than the typical 73 year old cis-woman.
ReplyDeleteI have a big head with a 17 inch neck, so my hair length is beyond shoulder length to give an illusion of a smaller head and neck.
It's a lost cause for me to sound like a woman as I am a bass vocalist. However, it helps to have a bust (DD cup size) and a prominent butt, which helps to offset the masculine impression of my voice.
John
I do have to agree the vast majority of TVs suffer from male physical traits: height, broad shoulders, etc. The "eye sees what the mind wants to see." That's even in male mode. My comfort zone is presenting as a woman within my home. I have no desire to mix with fellow humans in stores. If I go out, it is usually for a drive with an evening stroll with the except of Halloween when I did venture into stores. But even then I was thirty pounds lighter, and a little more than my now six foot height. On another site or perusing the internet I do see pictures of TVs who are convincing. They are convincing because they are on the shorter and smaller size of males, and, most importantly they, like most women, are not trying to be "drop dead gorgeous." I suspect I have passed many of those TVs who blend because the trained male eye passes them by. Even in my home, when accomplishing domestic chores, I avoid the full length mirror and definitely avoid any chance of a close up. Yep, take a selfie and you'll get a truer image. The camera's eye does not lie.
ReplyDeleteWalton Goggins looked so hot on Son's of Anarchy.
ReplyDelete"Very few women over 40 look good with long hair."
ReplyDeleteThat statement could not be more wrong.
-Christina
I don't think your assessment of how most femulators really look is inaccurate, but I think people should do what makes them feel good and hopefully not torment or embarrass their loved ones. I've lived a mostly closeted femulating life. My wife does not wish to see me crossdressed. I agree that it wasn't part of our understanding when I was lucky enough to get her to marry me. While she knows I dress up, it's not pushed into her life.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wish things were different. On the occasions that I see males who very successfully femulate, I feel a longing to have that ability, but I don't. Still I'm happy being a husband, dad, and grandad.
Hi Stana!
ReplyDeleteI think this person has rather missed the whole undercurrent of Femulate. Many of us know we do not pass in all situations and are self conscious about that to varying degrees. To believe we are passing to all at all times is foolish and few of us claim we do.
The message I have always gotten here, and preached myself is that presentation and confidence are the most important things.
I go out and about in the world and present as the best woman I can, and if someone reads me, big bloody whoop. So I’m a trans girl, oh well. Most treat me as a lady, and when not so, I don’t note myself being treated any worse than those around me.
Yes I am often read to be a trans girl, but guess what….. I am a trans girl and largely feel accepted as that.
Norah
I am liking my long hair - falls way below my shoulders and makes a great pony tail. I don't see as many short "bobs" in the wild these days. In many ways longer hair is easier to manage; brush it out and go.
ReplyDeleteStop being delusional. Never - "Live your life to its full".
One of my secret joys is to cause conniptions in the maladjusted. Sounds like someone grew bitter with age and I shall show plenty of leg this weekend — because they still look delightful at 53.
ReplyDelete