By Norah Blucher
I’m sure this phrase is a right familiar one to most here, but I’m not here to discuss jewelry today. No loves, I’m referring to skiing, and the trail rating system on ski hills, where one or two black diamonds denotes the more difficult trails or terrain one might traverse on their way down. And while I have an affinity for diamonds that many a girl shares, the black ones actually have a more significant meaning to me.
You see, I skied a bit as a child, but only went once or twice as an adult many years ago. That was until I suddenly found myself divorced and immersed in a toxic work situation from which I needed an escape more than I knew. So when a mate of mine asked if I wanted to go skiing, I agreed and found a new sense of freedom very much akin to what I feel going out en femme. Yet I always believed the two to be mutually exclusive, thinking the idea of skiing as female a rather preposterous one and often choosing if I would spend the weekend en femme or on the ski slope.
That was until one day in a moment when I must have been swept up in a state of pure madness, I decided to combine both worlds. Yes, yours truly set out to ski en femme!
It Started with a Jacket
Not too long ago I wrote about a ski trip with a sister of mine where we met as our male selves. It was smashing for sure, but left me thinking more than ever about being a female skier. On the way home from that trip, I even found a women’s ski parka, which got me wondering if I could really do this. Shopping aficionado I am, I began to explore this more, and was pleasantly surprised with what I found.
I’ve long noted what fabulous options are out there in the world of women’s ski attire. The sky’s the limit when it comes to colors and styles. What pleasantly surprised me however were the sales. Male ski attire changes seemingly little year-to-year. End of season sales occur for sure, with somewhat modest results.
I started things off with a pair of light aqua/seafoam pants to test the waters a bit and thought I could get away with the rest of my male kit (gloves, helmet, etc.) to start. That was the plan, at least.
When the pants arrived, I tried them on with shapewear, was rather impressed and saw before me the image of a rather stylish female ready for winter, at which point I went a bit nuts.
Before I knew it, coordinating gloves, backpack and neck warmer were on the way and I was driving around looking for a new helmet. Needing something to wear under everything, some new female woolies were needed and not to be forgotten was something to put on afterward as well, as no fashionable female skier should be expected to après in her damp ski attire from her day on the slopes.
Many female skiers have styles and colors not much different than blokes and in full winter kit, it is actually hard to tell a male from a female at a distance. Now spandex race-type suits, cheetah or zebra print onesies, or hot pink styles can all be had for sure, but these are not exactly me either. Hot ski bunny was not something I was out to attempt.
In the end, I opted for something decidedly female, but comfortable and respectable for a woman my age. I had the black jacket, aqua pants, white helmet and a black floral set of matching gloves, neck tube and backpack. All loose enough to allow freedom of movement, but still give me a distinctly female shape.
When all was said and done, I had a very complete set of kit, only maintaining my boots, skis and poles from my male kit. These can absolutely be obtained in female versions in very girly colors, but many, many women have ones that look identical to males’ and all of mine is in very neutral black tones, so I saw no reason to get crazier than I already did.
Foundations
Simultaneous to my spending spree on ski attire was the nagging question of shapewear and makeup to answer. Shapewear proved to be quite easy, while makeup was decidedly more challenging.
For shapewear, I opted for my normal bra and silicone breast forms. I’d thoughts of experimenting with sports bras and still may, but find they flatten you out a bit, whereas I am trying to accentuate what is barely there, LOL. I also utilized one of my everyday pairs of spandex type shorts with pockets for bum and hip pads and found it easy to move in and give me the shape I needed
What I did expunge from my usual attire was the waist cincher. I was out to actually ski for real, not just waltz around and look pretty and still needed to move and breathe. With a few winter layers, I found that everything looked good enough without it and my middle was hidden well enough.
Makeup involved more radical changes. As a domestic femulator, I always opted for whaever washed off easiest. When I got out, I started utilizing more waterproof varieties, but still found they would rub off if I was not careful and now I was looking to head out in cold wet conditions, take goggles on and off, etc., and wondered how this would all work out.
A bit of research, however, revealed a lot of information out there on ski makeup. I’m far from the first girl to hit the slopes in full makeup. I even discovered one former female Olympian skier who always competed in full makeup, even though her team mates and opponents teased her for it and was now developing her own line of ski cosmetics.
Not much changed with my look in the end except that I had a complete set of highly waterproof everything! Long wear 32-hour foundation, crème eyeshadow and I decided the felt tip liquid eye liner I usually used for evening wear was going to be the most tenacious I could get, being that it takes a bit to wash off when I actually want it off.
The real game changer was the discovery of fixing spray. I was told about it from one of my sisters and heard it mentioned on the ski forums as well. I purchased some from MAC and was highly impressed with it.
Think of fixing spray or setting spray as hair spray for makeup. You put everything on, then mist your face with the spray and it keeps everything in place. I experimented at home and found that it did its job well and held everything rather firmly in place. With summer approaching, I was glad to have found it to keep things from melting like an ice cream cone in the summer sun as well.
The final decision was to choose a wig. I found the shorter one left me with fewer styling options and leaving it down would quickly cause tangles with helmets, goggles, hoods, etc. My long wig actually worked fabulously when done up in an off-center side plait or pony tail and would add a decidedly feminine touch to everything, while keeping everything neat and tangle free.
Still a Bit in the Dark for Sure
Despite all I had purchased and learned, I still felt a right bit in the dark though. While the internet is wonderfully ripe with information on T-Girls, CDing, etc., there was a decided dearth of information on any of this while skiing. Swim costumes, beachwear, ball gowns, driving, flying, you name it, there is info out there on it... but not skiing. Seems skiing en femme has not been discussed much and I only found one forum with someone who says they did it with no other information, and a brief YouTube video with a girl who did it seemingly more to try it with a latex mask than anything. I must say the unknown of it all was a bit scary.
Nevertheless, I had come this far, and was not going to stop now. It was something I had to try, and if I wanted to try it. There had to be others out there as well, so maybe I could pave the way for someone else and have an exciting time in the process. As I looked at my schedule to see when I could ski next, I picked a date and decided that would be the day and anxiously awaited its arrival.
Getting Out!
When the big day arrived my first challenge, however, was not even on the ski slope, but just getting out of the house. If you recall, I share a driveway with my neighbors, and have never left my house en femme. While I very often return home en femme, it is in darkness.
With skiing, I’m not on a work trip and places to stay can be costly if one can even be found, as sometimes they are booked solid. I needed a way to do this from home.
I decided upon leaving home half dressed. I did my makeup, put on shapewear and woolies, then donned a male jacket with a hood and pants. With the addition of sunglasses, someone would have to be right close to me to notice a clearer complexion and rosy cheeks. It actually worked fabulously. The drive to the ski hill was a few hours from my house and about 20 minutes from home I pulled into an abandoned shopping center, donned my ski pants and vest, put on my wig, applied my lipstick and was off!
Arriving at the ski lodge, I parked, gathered my skis and other kit and headed in. I’m not sure why, but I was a bit nervous on this, I guess because of the unknown. I’d conquered waltzing into a mall, restaurant or hotel in a skirt and heels months ago, but this was all new! Would this be taken as a joke, would anyone notice. I wondered a lot of things as I headed in.
In the end, no one seemed to notice at all. I went in, found an empty table, changed my boots, doned my jacket and helmet, transferred some things to my back pack and stowed my ski bag. All I had to do now was get out there!
What Next?
And just as I anxiously awaited my femme ski debut, you too will have to wait to hear about it! LOL. The limits of your suspense will be determined by Stana, but I promise you it will be worth the wait for sure.
Until then, questions or comments are welcome below, or you can email me at nblucher at-sign proton dot me.
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| Wearing Ann Taylor |
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| Jean Carmet femulating in the 1987 French film Miss Mona. |
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