More Men in Dresses

NYC En Femme

By Missy

Up until a few weeks ago, the only times I had been out in the wider world as Missy were 1.) Halloween parties (always the easiest outlet for presenting en femme) and 2.) special “themed days” or events at the school where I teach including the past two proms, as some of Stana's readers are aware. My school is an overall accepting and supportive environment where I can usually be whatever version of me feels right.

This past winter, however, a very good friend invited me to attend his upcoming wedding, which was to take place in April in New York City, as Missy, if I wanted to. I had chaperoned the prom with this friend for many years (and he was essentially my “date” for the past two), and his fiancee is equally comfortable around me as Missy (and has even loaned me a couple of her outfits!), so there was no question about being supported if I wanted to take what certainly felt like a big step.

Attending a wedding en femme was a “bucket list-level” opportunity, right?! But after giving it some thought, I declined the offer because my wife would be attending the wedding with me and although she is tolerant of my exploits as Missy, this would have been a huge ask. Plus, despite my friend suggesting it, I couldn’t help but think Missy’s attendance could have been a potential distraction.

The wedding couple completely understood that decision, but then added that there would be some pre-wedding events in NYC the day before the ceremony, one of which was (wait for it ...) a drag brunch! What better place for Missy to make an appearance?! So after having read so many positive out-and-about stories on Femulate, Kandi's Land and other sites for years, and talking it over with my wife (who would not be attending any of these events), I decided that yes, Missy would indeed venture from suburban Connecticut into the big city for the drag brunch and the family/friends gathering afterwards. (*gulp!*)

The first order of business was obviously picking out what to wear. With the help of the bride-to-be, my wife and another friend, we decided the “draggiest” outfit I had was this sparkly jumpsuit from H&M (proudly purchased for $3 at a garage sale last summer).

Found coordinating jewelry, had the right heels and was feeling more positive as the date drew nearer and then, a couple of weeks before the event, my friend dropped the bomb that the drag brunch was CANCELED!! 

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! There aren't enough exclamation points to do justice to what had just happened! I felt bad for my friends, of course, because they had planned a fun event for about 40 individuals that had to be scrapped. But they also felt bad for me because they knew I was looking forward to my first truly major outing as Missy. Wanting to still have an enjoyable “Plan B,” they replaced the drag brunch with a gospel brunch at the Blue Note Jazz Club in Harlem.

Then came the moment of truth. I was still planning to attend the event, but as Missy? A drag brunch seemed like a pretty safe haven. A gospel brunch? I honestly wasn’t sure. I waffled for a few days (Yes, that was a brunchy reference) and talked it over with my wife. Ultimately, we decided that my “pink fog” was already pretty thick, so Missy was still going to New York! (*gulp" again)

Once that was settled, this meant a different outfit! Actually, I decided on two outfits, one for the gospel brunch and another for the gathering in the hotel afterward. Surely a wardrobe change was warranted if I was going to make this experience as memorable as possible! I wore a Boho-style dress to the jazz club and a denim-ish dress to the later gathering.

There was no way I was going to ride the train solo as Missy, so I traveled in “standard mode,” met the couple-to-be at their hotel room beforehand, made the transition into Missy and then a group of about 20 of us walked to the subway. As the saying goes, there is safety in numbers, and I felt relieved and comfortable being part of the larger pre-wedding posse. I chatted with the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom most of the way to the jazz club and there were no issues whatsoever regarding my presentation as Missy on the streets of NYC or on the subway. In fact, I received numerous compliments from strangers on the subway about my dress (and on my fingernails and toenails, which also made me feel good!). 

At the hotel gathering later that afternoon, after changing clothes and fixing my makeup, I felt even more comfortable, had normal conversations with both friends and strangers, was told I looked “ravishing!” by a former student and just enjoyed my brief but memorable time mingling as Missy. My wife and I traveled down to NYC the next day to attend the wedding and everything felt right in both parts of my world. [:-)]

Listen, readers, I know I didn’t completely pass, but I honestly didn’t expect to. This was more about simply letting out that part of me anyway, and doing what felt right. As we have read countless times on these websites, being confident is the most important thing and people are more accepting than we give them credit for. (In the dark of the jazz club, though, I'm confident I passed a bit more easily because I had to “introduce” myself to a couple that I have known for close to 20 years, who did not recognize me at all)

If/when the opportunity presents itself, I will feel less hesitant to take a journey as Missy. I get daily positive vibes from many of you on Stana’s site (Stana! Norah! J.J.! Too many others to name!), so thank you for your ongoing words of wisdom.

Thanks for taking the time to read. Stay tuned for the upcoming story from Missy's Prom, 2025!

Wearing Boston Proper

Anson Williams and Ron Howard femulating on television’s Happy Days.

I'll Be Back Real Soon Now

Thank you all for your condolences, kind words and well wishes. I am getting my stuff together and should be back on track in a day or two. In the meantime, I leave you with a little bit of humor that says a lot about me.

I'll Be Back

Due to the death of a close family friend, blog posts will be intermittent for a while.

A “Normal Man” at Home Depot

“Be a Normal Man” is the subject of a spam e-mail I received this morning. So, following the advice of that e-mail, I went to Home Depot to do some shopping like a “normal man.”

To my astonishment, there were more women shopping at Home Depot than men. The majority of the Home Depot sales associates were women, too. 

I felt out of place, just like when I go shopping for girly things in a girly store while dressed as a boy. It felt like every woman in Home Depot was watching me to see what girly product I would fondle. I could read their minds, “What is HE going to do with that Torx screwdriver?”

I was so paranoid that I used the automated self-check-out instead of going to one of the cashiers (who were all women) to avoid the smirks and knowing looks that I was bound to receive while making my girly purchase.

Next time I shop at Home Depot, I will be sure to wear a dress, wig, makeup and heels so I won't feel out of place.

Wearing Alice + Olivia

Agoney femulates Mónica Naranjo on Spanish television’s Tu cara me suena (Your Face Sounds Familiar). Click here to view this femulation on YouTube. 

Payless Revisited

The recent discussions here about high heels and Payless moved me to see how many pairs of Payless shoes I own. I knew I had a lot, but was surprised to discover that I owned 47 Payless pairs!

When I was still gainfully employed, I had a Payless store nearby my workplace that I could haunt in boy mode during my lunch hours. Whenever I did so, I swapped my socks for a pair of knee-highs before I visited the store so if I tried on women's shoes, I would get a better idea how they fit.

On my first Payless visits, I would buy a pair of shoes, take them to my car and try them on to see if they would fit. I was not concerned that the Payless staff knew that I was buying the shoes for myself. I was more concerned about freaking out another customer seeing a guy trying on gal shoes.

Trying on 4-inch stilettos in my Subaru got old fast, so after I became familiar with the Payless staff, I asked if there was a better way. The saleswoman I spoke with suggested I use their back room to try on shoes and that’s what I did for awhile. 

But eventually I said “damn the customers” and I began trying on shoes out in the open. I seldom ran into another customer while trying on heels because I was shoe shopping in the lonely aisle that had women’s sizes 10s, 11s, 12s and 13s.

One day off from work, I visited the store en femme and the saleswoman happened to be one I dealt with in boy mode many times. The way she greeted me on the way in was not the way she greeted me in boy mode, so I assumed she was clueless about who I was.

After finding shoes to purchase, I took my finds up to the register and she still acted like I was just another random female customer. I had to say something, so I said, “Remember me?” 

She looked at me more closely and then the Oh-My-Gods began. She said she was clueless and would not have recognized me if I had not spoken up. She also added that I passed with flying colors.

And so it goes!

Wearing 1.State

RuPaul Charles femulating in The Brady Bunch Movie.

Hamvention Revisited

Another Hamvention has come and gone without me. After attending regularly for 40 years, I have been scarce lately due to the pandemic and my wife’s health. And I do miss going – so much so that I pulled up my old blog posts about my previous attendance and reminisced.

Let’s reminisce about my Hamvention visit in 2014. 

Going to Hamvention is not a vacation in the sense that I relax. Staffing a booth requires being up and running at the booth when the show opens. So just as if I was going to a day job, I get up at 5 AM to shave, shower, and dress and then add 30 to 45 minutes to do my makeup

On Hamvention Friday, I wore one of my new dresses from Fashion to Figure... a figure-hugging black and white sheath. Accessories included black thigh-highs from Berkshire, black patent "Janine" pumps from Payless, jewelry from Avon and Fashion Bug and a black bag from Payless. I also brought along a pair of mid-heel black "Daylight" wedges from Payless in case the 3-inch Janine pumps wore out their welcome (Wow! Three out of four of those stores are now out of business.)

On Saturday, I wore my navy blue white polka dot dress from Avon with basically the same accessories as Friday except I wore a pearl necklace and white watch instead of a silver necklace and black watch.

On both days, I left my room and walked down the hall to the hotel restaurant at approximately 7 AM (my room was on the first floor just off the lobby). I found an empty table and had a banana, yogurt, and coffee while I people-watched the people who watched me when I entered the restaurant.

Nothing grabs the attention of a room like the sound of high heels entering the room. Everyone (even the women) stop what they are doing to see who is the source of that oh-so feminine sound and in this case, it happened to be me. The same thing happened in the convention hall – the sound of high heels acts like a siren to alert everyone to the presence of a siren.

I was one of the few people at the show in heels. Other women who staff booths wear sensible shoes unless they are “booth babes” and I don’t recall seeing any “booth babes” at the show this year, so I might have been the only one in heels. By the way, I wore the heels all day. They were very comfortable and I never had to fall back to my wedges.

After breakfast, I returned to my room to freshen up and then returned to the lobby to meet up with the fellow who I would carpool with Friday and Saturday (he drove during the day and I drove at night). We arrived at the convention hall at about 8 AM and got ready for the throngs that would appear when the hall opened to the public at 9 AM.

I still run into old friends and acquaintances at Hamvention who are not aware of Stana and there were four instances of this occurrence over the weekend that were interesting. In all four cases, I had known the fellows for at least 10 to 15 years and in one case, it was over 40 years.

Three of the four guys acted as if nothing was different. They were just as friendly as they had been in the past and chatted with me like old friends chat when they have not seen each other in awhile. The three made no mention of my change. It is possible that they were already aware of my change before encountering me in person, but nonetheless, they seemed to have no problem with it.

The fourth fellow was a little different. He was just as friendly and chatty as the other three, but he was genuinely excited about my transformation and specifically wanted to know the source of my shapely legs (blame my Mother).

Most of my old friends and acquaintances have acted in a similar manner. They accepted me as a friend before the change and now they found that same friend after the change (maybe a little more attractive than before the change), but the same friend nonetheless.

Strangers are a different matter and most of the people I encountered over the weekend were strangers. Strangers are not aware of my past. When they see me they see someone presenting as a tall woman, so they assume that I am a tall woman until I give them evidence that is contrary to that presentation. For example, a couple of times I inadvertently slipped into my normal male voice and I realized what had happened when I noticed strangers  noticing the discrepancy between my voice and the rest of my presentation.

Standing in the booth, I had a smile pasted on my face most of the time. Many men and almost all the women who came my way returned the smile with some even adding a “Hi” or “Hello.” And two women even came over to say, “I love your dress!”

I love that!

Wearing Ann Taylor

Terry Sweeney femulating Nancy Reagan on Saturday Night Live.

Stuff 72: No Stuff

By J.J. Atwell

…or maybe short stuff

Due to a heavy travel schedule I didn’t have much time to write about Stuff. So I’m dashing off this one to fill in a gap while I work on more Stuff. Perfectly clear? No? 

OK, more info. I write Stuff installments in groups of three as I get inspiration. I send those off to Stana, who publishes them weekly as she sees fit. But by a quirk of the calendar, I’ve had to do a lot of traveling and didn’t get enough time or inspiration to get my usual submission to Stana before leaving for my next trip. So what you get is this quick, short Stuff this week.

Resolutions

In Stuff #54, which Stana published on January 13, 2025, I listed my New Year’s resolutions and promised to report back on my progress. For reference they were:

1. Lose 12 pounds

2. Get my ears pierced

3. Try going blonde

4. Experiment with larger boobs

My achievements so far are fairly dismal. All I’ve been able to accomplish is #2, getting my ears pierced. But even that isn’t quite done as the healing period has a few more weeks to go. Once that is over, I’ll be able to switch out earrings and wear some dangly ones in girl mode. I can hardly wait. In the meantime, I’m considering what to wear in guy mode. Thinking small “diamonds” or perhaps just gold studs. Boring.

As far as #1 goes, I’m failing miserably. Well, I haven’t actually gained any weight, but I’m basically at the same weight that I started the year at. I also haven’t accomplished #3, going blonde. That’s just a matter of scheduling a visit to a wig store (that topic will resurface in a future Stuff) along with my “wig advisors.” Coordinating schedules is the stumbling block. 

For #4, bigger boobs, I’m purposely delaying that. Several readers rightly pointed out that I should wait until I complete resolution #1 so that I can see how they would look on a slimmer body. Thanks for all who gave me that advice!

Where Am I Traveling?

Like Stana, I’m also a Ham (AKA Amateur Radio Operator) and there is a huge convention every year near Dayton, Ohio. By the time you read this Stuff, I’ll be on my way back home, but right now I’m penning this the night before I leave. 

I know Stana isn’t going to be there this year, but I’ve heard from some other readers who are also Hams and plan on meeting them while there (I’ll be in drab mode).

I’ll Be Back

Yes I’ll be finding more Stuff to write about. I welcome comments and suggestions here on Stana’s page or by email at Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Wearing Boston Proper

Matteo Cetinski femulating Jelena Rozga on Croatian television’s Your Face Sounds Familiar.
Click here to view this femulation on YouTube.

Clothes Still Make the Man

Saturday Afternoon at the Movies

Get Off My Back!

I have hair everywhere! Hair removal is my biggest hurdle when I prepare to crossdress. For my legs, arms and chest, I use Nair. It works fast and usually one application does the trick.

Your mileage may vary, but Nair does not irritate my skin or cause a rash as long as I steer clear of the genital area when I do my legs and my armpits when I do my arms.

My chest is another story. Surprisingly, my breasts are OK with Nair, but occasionally my upper chest turns red after using Nair. For that reason, I keep a bottle of witch hazel handy. If my chest begins to flare up, I use a washcloth to apply witch hazel to the troubled area and that usually cools things down.

Normally, I don’t wear clothing that exposes my back, so I don't bother removing the hair there. It is impossible to reach all my back hair with a razor or with Nair. I could get it waxed, but that is a little expensive for this frugal gal. So to avoid back hair removal, I avoid clothing that reveals my back.

However, a dress I planned to wear to a Christmas party exposed the upper half of my back and chest, so I had to deal with my hairy problem.

The first time I was faced with this problem, I thought, why not try Nair. If it works on my legs, arms and chest, it should work on my back, too.

To test my idea, one morning I dabbed a little bit of Nair on a corner of my natural mohair sweater, waited the requisite four minutes, then took a shower. After exiting the shower, I saw something I had not seen in nearly 40 years: a spot of bare skin on my back! And it was not turning red.

Evidently, Nair would do the trick for my back hair, but how could I apply it to the far-reaches of my back. I doubted that I could do a thorough job applying it manually and I could not find a volunteer to apply the Nair on me, so I put on my thinking wig cap to find a solution.

A day or two later, I thought that a small paintbrush might do the trick. Nair has the same consistency as paint and a paintbrush’s handle would give me a little extra reach to get to those out of the way places on my back. Then I thought a paint pad would work, too.

I headed to the hardware department of my favorite boutique (Walmart) to look for a paint pad. Walmart had a good selection. For my application, I chose a 2-inch wide pad with a wooden handle that cost under $1

I was ready and when the big day finally arrived, I poured some Nair into a small disposable Styrofoam bowl. In order to get a feeling for how the foam pad would work, I did my legs first. I immediately discovered that the Nair went on faster and with better coverage with the paint pad than when I applied it by hand. In fact, it went on so fast that I did my arms and chest before tackling my back. 

Since I would be working in the blind, I decided to attack my back from different directions to try and achieve full coverage. So I applied it by reaching over my left and right shoulders and around my left and right sides.

After four minutes were up, I entered the shower and used a washcloth to remove the Naired hair (the force of the shower is not adequate enough to remove the hair). To remove the Naired back hair, I wrapped the washcloth around the head of a long-handled shower brush (I learned the hard way not to use a shower brush solo to remove Naired hair. The bristles of the brush can irritate the skin that has been sensitized by the Nair).

I exited the shower and looked in the mirror to discover that I had missed a spot on my lower back. That was no surprise as that was the hardest spot to reach. So, I applied some more Nair to that area and completed the job.

In conclusion, I discovered that the paint pad not only allowed me to remove the hair on my back, but it was also a more efficient way of applying Nair in general. Using the paint pad was a lot faster and neater than doing it manually and I also used a lot less Nair. Typically, I use one and one-half bottles of Nair to do my legs and arms (I don't always do my chest). Using the paint pad, I did my legs, arms, chest and back and only used slightly more than one bottle of Nair. As a result, a paint pad is now a permanent part of my beauty tool collection.

Wearing Shein

Karl Davies and Patrick Walshe McBride femulating on British television’s Shakespeare & Hathaway: Private Investigators.