Friday, January 13, 2023

Nobody Cares What You Wear

The comments received in response to Wednesday’s post, “I Love What You’re Wearing, ‘Sir,’” indicates that there is more tolerance for more feminine coloring and style for a man to wear these days.

I am still old school in a lot of ways and believe that if you wear something feminine, you are taking a chance, so don’t be surprised if someone calls you on it. (Yet my experiences wearing feminine items does not support my beliefs, so go figure.)

Anyway it seems that no one is calling anyone on anything, which is a good thing with regards to the situation that girls like us find ourselves. But that throws a monkey wrench into our beliefs that we are passing. Passing may actually be a matter of nobody caring.

If that’s the case, we can dress to our feminine heart’s content out among the civilians and get away with it. I wouldn’t recommend wearing an evening gown to go shopping at Walmart, but a denim miniskirt and crop top will probably work. Although if you go the Walmart evening gown route, you can always say that you were on your way to the opera and decided to pick up a few things.

While on the subject of blending and not blending in, you may recall a few years ago when I had a free dinner date courtesy of Prudential Financial. Stanley was invited and she attended dressed appropriately for a woman her age.

At the banquet hall, each attendee was assigned to a specific table and each table had a Prudential representative seated with the guests. The rep introduced himself and was available to field questions, if any. It was all very laid-back and there was no high pressure sales.

A week later, I received a call on my iPhone. I did not recognize the number, so I did not answer it. I received a second call from the same number a week later and another on Friday.

Over the weekend, I finally noticed that there were two voicemails left after the last two calls. I listened to the voicemails and they were from the Prudential rep seated at our table offering his financial services if I was interested.

He did mention in passing that either I was a no-show at the dinner or I ended up sitting at the wrong table!


There were three couples and two solos (me and a guy) seated at our table. Perhaps the rep thought I was with the wife or girlfriend of the solo guy even though we were not seated together. I also assume he was looking for a male Stanley at his table, not the lady Stanley, who was present.

I guess I blend in better than I thought. 

Source: Boston Proper
Wearing Boston Proper

Bathing beauty Brandi


  1. People may not be calling out someone as a cross dresser because of the attire a man is wearing, but I agree it is more of "Who cares? The proof of the pudding is whether the perceived cross dresser is going to be asked to the neighborhood BBQ or a dinner next door. The lack of a willingness to associate with a person is more indicative as to whether there is genuine acceptance. There is a large segment of society who do not associate with a cross dresser or a gay couple because it is perceived somebody else is going to question that person's manhood: "Is he one of them?" I worked in a professional office for over thirty years and never wore a white shirt past my hiring interview. I wore colorful shirts with expressive ties. The shirts ranged from pinks and lavenders; light and dark blues; light and dark greens, solids and prints, etc. I always had to chuckle when I see the big shots in Washington D.C. lined up like penguins in dark blue suits, white shirts and red ties. I don't believe anyone associated my preferences in attire as an indication of anything. It probably helped that I was in a position of authority.

    In my mind the picture shown yesterday not only depicted feminine like attire, but also body mannerism. He is breaking social mannerism as well as socially accepted attire. Personally, I am one for the entire deal; society & heels, dresses, all the proper undergarments, wig, etc. Wearing a feminine shoe or woman's pants by itself does nothing for me.

    1. Rachel McNeillJanuary 14, 2023

      When in boy-mode in the office for 20+ years at a very traditional organization in DC, I always pushed the envelope--backwards--stylistically. What I wore would have been fine in DC, say, in 1930.

      I wore blue pincord, white saddle shoes and a skimmer in the summer, routinely wore tan and olive poplin with yellow or pink shirts. Most men sweltered through July and August days in wool flannel in grey and navy blue.

      In the winter, I had a 75 year old Chesterfield that I inherited from my wife's late uncle. It looked fabulous.

      When femulating, I'm actually more inclined to wear what a genetic woman of my own age would wear, albeit to dress up a bit more. I guess part of that is that I had 60+ years to develop a man's sense of style, and am a bit less confident of what my style is when presenting as female.

  2. I'm about two months into my changed work experience where I've been encouraged to dress as I wish. Coworkers have been much more supportive than I'd ever imagined. Customers, to my face, haven't been critical but I've heard through others that some have made comments. In the two months, I've worn skirts or dresses for all but three days when coworkers convinced me to wear my jeans and a nice top. I've been out and about almost exclusively in full Heather mode.

  3. Does bathing beauty Brandi have hairy armpits? Is it just me?

    1. It appears that you're correct.
      The Femulator is probably inspired by the Youtube famous Sarah Jane aka "WonderHussy" who proudly and loudly doesn't kow-tow to the pit hair shamers.

    2. If bathing suit time it’s shave time too. I keep my legs,pits and pubes shaved all year. Even in Chicago.