Friday, September 9, 2022

The Iceberg

I am fascinated by the number of crossdressers on the Internet. It seems that everyone is crossdressing – kids, teens, young adults, the middle-aged and senior males are all crossdressing and documenting their feminine side with photos posted all over the Internet.

However, the tens of thousands of crossdressers on the Internet does not translate to the numbers of crossdressers out among the civilians. If the numbers correlated, you would be running into crossdressers everywhere, but the sightings of crossdressers in public are rare (which does not take into account those crossdressers who pass and as a result, fail to be counted in the crossdresser census). 

One can assume that most of the crossdressers on the Internet are closeted and don’t mix it up with the civilians.

And one can also assume that the various estimates of the crossdressing population are low. You can’t count them if you can’t see them, although there are plenty to see on the Internet.

My guess is that there are a lot more crossdressers out there than most people believe. The Internet might just be the tip of the iceberg. 

After all, most males want to crossdress (don’t they?) and the mainstreaming of crossdressing today gives reluctant crossdressers the courage to do so. The majority may stay in the closet – so far back in the closet that they will never post photos anywhere. And those that do post photos are in the minority, but the numbers of that minority are huge as evidenced by the Internet, so can you imagine the numbers below the waterline of the iceberg!

Wearing Venus

Paul Dano
Paul Dano femulating in the 2020 film The Extra Man


  1. I agree with your iceberg theory in general. However, in my 70 years on the planet and 33+ plus years as a non-out, yet out-and-about in public crossdresser (I was blessed with a wonderful wife); I have found crossdressers in general, to be both narcissistic and exhibitionistic in their behavior. Thus I have nearly 1000 photos posted on Flickr and a hand full on other sites.
    Nobody will ever get to the true numbers of crossdressers. Nobody, or until crossdressing becomes no different than what tie I shall wear.
    Angel Amore

  2. I agree. I have little doubt that it's only a tiny number of us who are visible in public, a much bigger number online and a larger number still who leave no trace. Whether most men want to crossdress is debatable, but I reckon the numbers who think about it are huge. Sue x

  3. I have always said...they walk among us. They meaning me or we. Just that most don’t know I’m a theyπŸ‘πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜‚

  4. I am fascinated by that group photo! Oohlala, so many beautiful ladies! What is that from?

    Ciao! Elise

  5. The cross-dressers sub reditt has over 235,000 subscribers, this is mostly a younger late teens to 20's. What's interesting is the taboo seems to be lifting. Many are out to friends even more out to their girlfriends. The other thing I notice is these cross-dressers are really good at what they do, very pretty and passable. Paula-G

  6. As someone that grew up before the internet and felt alone in their crossdressing, it is amazing to see how much more widespread this phenomenon is than what I initially thought.

    Those that come of age these days have it much better in that regard.

  7. I am in Pittsburgh and am seeing more and more CD/TG people on the street enjoying a normal life. Most are younger but some are not. I suspect that there are many older TG’s like myself that are not visible and that there are many of us. I use the term TG because most of the ones I know and talk to consider themselves, as I do, to be women or at the least a gender somewhere in between but more feminine than anything. I personally walk in fem on quiet residential City streets. I enjoy that time being a “public” woman.

  8. A few things…
    I agree that there are a lot of crossdressers out there and I believe many of them do not go out in public.
    Second when we were working to pass the non-discrimination law for Connecticut we made sure that it covers everyone including crossdressers. CT law PA 11-5 says,
    (21) "Gender identity or expression" means a person's gender-related identity, appearance or behavior, whether or not that gender-related identity, appearance or behavior is different from that traditionally associated with the person's physiology or assigned sex at birth, which gender-related identity can be shown by providing evidence including, but not limited to, medical history, care or treatment of the gender-related identity, consistent and uniform assertion of the gender-related identity or any other evidence that the gender-related identity is sincerely held, part of a person's core identity or not being asserted for an improper purpose.
    Notice “... a person's gender-related identity, appearance or behavior, whether or not that gender-related identity, appearance or behavior…” that it does not say that you have to had transition or have medical intervention. It was written that way so as to cover everyone.
    Lastly the attendance of support groups are dwindling. I know of two other support groups that might not reopen after COVID, Connecticut Outreach Society almost didn’t have enough members to open for the first meeting Saturday we need at least 5 people to open and we managed to get 6 who said they will attend the first meeting tomorrow.

  9. I just celebrated my 3/4 century mark. Yes, I am closeted with a wife of the same era, who is not appreciative of my desire to wear women's attire. It's a rare occurrence to spot another lady in public, and, that's because her presentation is not passable. I think for an older cross dressing man there is not overwhelming acceptance. Tolerance? Maybe. A lot depends where you live.whether there is an opportunity to get out of the car for an evening stroll. That's my existence; an evening stroll, alone. My community is on-line. Even on the forum on which I post, if I go back to a decade ago's postings and try to track some of the ladies forward, the vast majority have disappeared. Hopefully, they have found some way to express themselves among live humans.

  10. I blame this culture of toxic masculinity for this continued sense that a person born male should not have the desire to adorn oneself in traditionally feminine attire. We celebrate that fact that today’s male is more involved in child care and other traditionally feminine nurturing household tasks. But being ladylike, if only because it pleases me to look feminine, is somehow as preposterous as pretending to ovulate, menstruate, gestate or lactate. Getting out in public amongst the civilians, some of whom will be proud of themselves that they KNOW what’s under that skirt, is necessary to change these perceptions. In my middle age, I genuinely do not care what people think. I go out all fall and winter en femme, and in the spring and summer I present as genderqueer —yes, “ a man in a dress”. There is no reason I shouldn’t be able to enjoy the airy grace of a beautiful skirt fluttering around my body. Just as you don’t need to be male to be a figure of authority anymore, you don’t need to be female to feel beautiful, graceful and pretty.