Wednesday, January 23, 2019

No Surprise

Above Average
Commenting on my Thursday post, Meg wrote, "I wonder when you'll stop being surprised that you're treated as the woman you are."

Julie and Tina left concurring comments. I can imagine Cher saying, "Get over it" as she slaps me in the face.

For most of my life, I did not present as a woman among civilians. When I began stepping out as a woman, I questioned any attention I received — usually assuming the worst, that is, a civilian figured out that I was not what I appeared to be.

There is probably some truth in that assumption because early on, my presentation may have been lacking. But as I fine-tuned my presentation, I received feedback in my encounters with civilians that indicated that I was fooling some of the people some of the time.

Thirty years later, I think my presentation is better than average and when I am out, I assume that everyone accepts me as a woman. So I am no longer surprised when I am treated as a woman.

However, when I write about my days and nights out as a woman, I often mention the positive treatment I receive in order to encourage my readers that they too can go out and be accepted as the women they truly are.

And so it goes.

Source: Pinterest
I'd wear this outfit (Source: Pinterest)

El Brendel
El Brendel femulates in the 1935 film Okay Jose.


  1. You certainly do present as a 'damn fine', well dressed woman. As a 6'-0", 210lb gurl, I have received compliments on clothing, hair and eyeglasses while shopping. I have been accosted in stores by women for a fashion consult' while shopping. It is quite the 'rush'.
    I do like the pinterest photo and would buy/wear same, with maybe a boot with a higher top.
    I especially like the 'dog chain strap' on the bag. I shop for similar bags with such a chain, and more recently have found (online) replacement cross body length 'chain straps' (gold, silver, black) for purses at reasonable prices. I have realized such a strap would be a great tool if one had to 'adopt a defensive posture'. Velma

    1. I own one bag with a chain strap. It is very nice looking, but the interior of the bag is not very roomy. The bag in the Pinterest photo looks about three times roomier than the one I own.

    2. There is another way..... my mother liked the chain straps... and she (OK, I) simply got some chain and put it on. Some large hardware stores like Home Depot or Lowes have a surprising variety of chains to cut to order. So if a bag strap broke, and you want chain, you can buy some and add it - and the bag will be whatever size you had.

  2. Stana -

    I think you've touched on something important - confidence in yourself and your presentation. If you look at me, one could say under his/her breath that she looks like a two legged whale on land. (I don't think of myself that way, I just chose to be excessively harsh for this discussion.) Yet, I have found that confidence in my presentation allows others to see me as a well put together lady who happens to be large in all dimensions.

    You have been a model for me, not because I could ever do your style, but because you (and others) have inspired me to have my own style. The fact that you go out and about, attending functions as Stana is important, as this demonstrates that most of us can be accepted as females if we exhibit our femininity reasonably well. No one is perfect in this regard, cisgender females have similar uncertainties about their feminine presentation - and they are born with the "right equipment in the right places."

    When I look at pictures of the models you post, they inspire me about what I might be able to do with my own style. But they also make me envious of the figure that I could never achieve without a very strict diet, then with augmentation in all the right places. This is reality creeping in - and that's a good thing.

    Like you, I am no longer surprised to be seen as a lady when I'm out. I hope that more of your readers can get up the courage, go out the door, and enjoy interacting with people as the women they are inside....

    1. I hope people read your comment, Marian. It is so good, I might use it as a standalone post.

  3. Well said, Marian. I have always said that self confidence is the greatest tool a lady can have. As an actor, I learned long ago that if YOU believe the character you are presenting, others will, too.