Monday, April 30, 2018

A Fan Letter

Paul goes by the name of Paula and sends me infrequent fan letters. His/her most recent missive follows.
I am aware as much as anyone the nature of the fantasyland that crossdressers inhabit but one thing has always bewildered me; EVERY story of 'passing' involves women, never men. I gave up believing these stories years ago particularly when they included a picture which nearly always demonstrate that the ability to 'pass' is extremely limited. One has to accept that 'Fictionmania' is not the only place for fantasy. Can you recommend a supplier of these mirrors which enable one to believe that this so often unattractive male is is transmuted into a beautiful sexy woman. There must be one hell of a lot sold judging by the pictures you post.
I have other "fans" who send similar letters and comments. They claim to be femulators and are very judgmental of their femulating sisters.

Early on, these writers bothered me with their vitriol, but then it occurred to me that they were probably just jealous. When they compare the image of the man in a dress that they see in their mirror with what they see in this blog, their jealousy turns to rage and it ends up in my in-box.

And so it goes.

By the way, Paula, I have had many passing encounters with males. They clearly treated me as a woman by calling me "Ma'am" or "Miss," holding doors open for me, flirting with me and even propositioning me. They have also spoken to me in a condescending or oversimplified fashion (as if was a bimbo) and called me a "dyke," "lipstick lesbian" and "Amazon," which are affirming in a negative sort of way.

And so it goes again.        

Source: Moda Operandi
Wearing Moda Operandi (Source: Moda Operandi)

Nastja Sherer
Nastja Sherer and friend (Source: flickr)


  1. Paula and others who think like her fail to understand that successful femulation is as at least as much about the psychological as the visual.

    Certainly we should dress appropriately and make an effort over the details of our appearance, however that is just the starting point.

    Before each of us ventures out the door for the first time, we have to win a mental battle with our internal fears. Once outside we start to fight a second battle; this one is to relax and behave normally, rather than as if we have a guilty secret to hide from prying eyes. Quickly our confidence starts to grow. Soon we find ourselves thinking “I must buy some more mascara”, rather than “Is it safe to go in to that store.”

    With that confidence, we can start to experience life as women.


    1. When you cross that bridge, it is a wonderful thing.

  2. Cue up some lyrics from Neil Young.
    "Don't let it bring you down,
    It's only castles burning,
    Just find someone whose turning
    and you will come around."

    Anything worth achieving is worth the effort but little is achieved without putting in the blood, sweat and tears necessary to reach that goal. You have succeeded on many levels and at many tasks during your life. It is always a combination of applying the work and the effort to move things. Little worth accomplishing comes easy or without effort.
    I admire not only what you have achieved but I recognize the sacrifices and efforts you have made to get there.
    Just tune out the distractions.

  3. As an actor, the first lesson I learned was "Believe in who you are presenting". If you can believe you are Elisa Doolittle, then the audience will have little trouble believing it.

    This also holds true with Femulating. It is equal portions of looking the part and BEING the part. As you have stated many times here, there and MANY kinds of women. If you believe you are the woman you present as, your "audience" will follow along. Not 100% of the time, but more often than not. And for those other times you simply have to accept it and continue being you - no matter what they may say or do.

    1. I always looked the part... it required a lot more effort to be the part.

  4. As one gazes into the mythical mirror..... Perhaps a read of the following link.... I am constantly examining my own subconscious mind for what REALLY motivates me and 'this thing'...
    Psychoanalyst Jaques Lacan: "We project our sense of self upon 'the other' ". It seems that sometimes, the 'self' is also 'the other'...
    Respectfully, Velma Dinkley

  5. AnonymousMay 01, 2018

    Very few T girls pass all the time
    All they can do is dress so that they blend in with non Tgirls and dissappear amongst them

    1. Very true and I feel sorry for those T-girls who don't pass all the time. LOL!