Monday, April 3, 2017

To Come Out or Not

Meg of Call Me Meg fame wrote:
I know you're out a bit at work; you probably don't know how far out because you don't know who has been talking (gossiping) with whom. Also, I suspect you know more "out at work" T-people than most.
I have never read of someone coming out at work (or otherwise) and having someone else at the office or group pull them aside and say something like "I wish I had the nerve to come out here" or to compare notes or in any way say "me too."
Have you? Or is this like the elusive womanless events, where it exists only for other people?
Good question, Meg!

No one at my 9 to 5 job ever came out to me.

I am not out at work except to a handful of people. I am sure that others might suspect I am trans, but unless they heard it from me or from those who are in the know, they don't know for sure. As a result, they are likely to be hesitant to out themselves to me because they don't know if I am transgender or just a Halloween crossdresser.

On the other hand, in the ham radio world, I am very out there and present as a woman. In that world, I lost count how many civilians have come out to me as trans, both in person and by email... probably two to three dozen in all. They know I am a sister, so they are less/not hesitant to let the cat out of the bag.

And so it goes.

Source: Vogue
Wearing Diane von Furstenberg.

Source: Pinterest
Bride and groom.


  1. Stana, it's time that Stana goes to your 9 to 5 job.

  2. At the final place where I worked prior to retirement they had an onsite health & safety section and a doctor. I was struggling to keep the lid on the box and so one day I went across there to see if they could offer me any palliative treatment in confidence.
    To my great surprise, the doc told me that there was a MtF post-op on-site but I had no idea who she was. (well there were something like 1500 people who worked there)
    I had 5 sessions with a psycho-therapist but unfortunately it didn't do much to relieve the pressure in my head.

  3. Oddly enough I was thinking of Meg. My thought was that she hit a sweet spot with her new bride and has found a nice level of acceptance.
    Her question is good. I suspect that most at work know and have a comfort level with Stan and, at best, wonder about the occasional appearance by Stana. Even it today's relaxing climate most of us still feel the need to guard our privacy for our own sakes and the sakes of our family and friends.

  4. AnonymousMay 06, 2017

    Discrimination may be against the law but believe me, it can be practiced and is. I now live full time and totally as a woman. There were times in the past I have lived as a woman full time. During these times I was able to work as a woman so that I could be as a woman 24/7 and totally full time. One job was as a cocktail waitress in a gay drag nightclub in West Hollywood, CA.
    Another was as a secretary for a wealthy businessman that was married. As a woman I gave him what his wife at home would not. I was not much of a secretary (just basic skills) but I worked in a room and had my own desk with several other women that thought I was a real GG. If they didn't and had suspicions they never did display it. One thing that some figured out was that I was the boss' 'personal piece' because my secretarial skills were lacking. I became a 'kept woman' and he paid my bills.
    I did several stints as a prostitute. I did this just so that I could continue to live as a woman and have an income to pay my bills.
    What these jobs had in common was that I lived full time as a woman and got ready for work as a woman. So by doing that I lived full time as a woman, which was what I wanted.
    The story of my feminine side is a long one because it started when I was an adolescent and I am now a mature woman in my 60s, so this has been a life long thing for me. I would now be labeled as a transwoman but I consider myself as a woman. Like many I was probably born in the wrong body. I should have been born a female had breasts and a vagina instead of the male parts I was born with.
    Now after retiring from working as a male I am living totally as a woman. I tossed all my male clothing and items and now only wear clothing made for a woman to wear and buy things that a woman would buy. I am now legally married and have a husband and I am the wife and woman in the marriage. Through HRT I did develop my own breasts. My current bra size is a 38C. Everyday now I wake up and put on panties and a bra and apply my makeup. The I select the dress and heels I am going to wear that day. I luv my life as it is now.