Monday, April 3, 2017

To Come Out or Not

Meg of Call Me Meg fame wrote:
I know you're out a bit at work; you probably don't know how far out because you don't know who has been talking (gossiping) with whom. Also, I suspect you know more "out at work" T-people than most.
I have never read of someone coming out at work (or otherwise) and having someone else at the office or group pull them aside and say something like "I wish I had the nerve to come out here" or to compare notes or in any way say "me too."
Have you? Or is this like the elusive womanless events, where it exists only for other people?
Good question, Meg!

No one at my 9 to 5 job ever came out to me.

I am not out at work except to a handful of people. I am sure that others might suspect I am trans, but unless they heard it from me or from those who are in the know, they don't know for sure. As a result, they are likely to be hesitant to out themselves to me because they don't know if I am transgender or just a Halloween crossdresser.

On the other hand, in the ham radio world, I am very out there and present as a woman. In that world, I lost count how many civilians have come out to me as trans, both in person and by email... probably two to three dozen in all. They know I am a sister, so they are less/not hesitant to let the cat out of the bag.

And so it goes.

Source: Vogue
Wearing Diane von Furstenberg.

Source: Pinterest
Bride and groom.


  1. Stana, it's time that Stana goes to your 9 to 5 job.

  2. At the final place where I worked prior to retirement they had an onsite health & safety section and a doctor. I was struggling to keep the lid on the box and so one day I went across there to see if they could offer me any palliative treatment in confidence.
    To my great surprise, the doc told me that there was a MtF post-op on-site but I had no idea who she was. (well there were something like 1500 people who worked there)
    I had 5 sessions with a psycho-therapist but unfortunately it didn't do much to relieve the pressure in my head.

  3. Oddly enough I was thinking of Meg. My thought was that she hit a sweet spot with her new bride and has found a nice level of acceptance.
    Her question is good. I suspect that most at work know and have a comfort level with Stan and, at best, wonder about the occasional appearance by Stana. Even it today's relaxing climate most of us still feel the need to guard our privacy for our own sakes and the sakes of our family and friends.