All In

October is nearly half over and I have not broached the H subject – until now. H, as in Halloween, is a day near and dear to the heart of femulators throughout Girly World

Early on, I used Halloween as an excuse to shop for my lady wardrobe. (Didn't you?)

“I'm going to a Halloween party dressed as a woman, so I need a...” (fill in the blank with whatever I needed at the time: wig, bra, girdle, dress, high heels, makeup, purse, etc., etc., etc.)

I used that excuse a lot when I was still closeted. I dunno if I fooled any of the store staff with my Halloween story. Not many guys are going to spend $100 or more on a wig for one night, so something else must be going on.

My first girdle purchase (actually an all-in-one) was memorable. I was working in Kingston, New York, and visited an old-school lingerie shop in boy mode to get fitted for an all-in-one.

I found the store in the Yellow Pages and I checked it out one evening after work. It was located in downtown Kingston, not in a strip mall or shopping plaza, and it looked tiny and inconspicuous… the antithesis of Victoria’s Secret.

For days, I thought about the store and finally gathered up the courage to visit it during a lunch hour. I drove to the store, parked on the street and sat in my car waiting for minimum pedestrian traffic to avoid anyone seeing me entering the store. When all was clear, I exited my car and entered the store as quickly as possible.

A middle-aged lady greeted me. She probably had seen it all, so when I mentioned I needed some foundation garments for my Halloween costume, I don't know if she believed me. And when I suggested that I might need an “all-in-one,” that probably tipped my hand immediately – how many guys knew what’s an "all-in-one?"

Nevertheless, she was very helpful and after measuring me up, she handed me two heavy-duty all-in-ones to try on and said, “Take these to the dressing room, try them on and call me so I can see if they fit properly.”

I did not expect such a hands-on sale, but was glad to have it. I went to the dressing room, quickly stripped down to my briefs and zipped myself into the first all-in-one, but it did nothing for me. However, the second one did wonders and I summoned the proprietor to examine me wearing the second all-in-one.

“Wow, that was quick,” she remarked. I assumed that her other male customers were not as fast as I when trying on their “first” foundation garment.

She checked me out and gushed about my girlish figure. I tipped my hand again when my face turned beet red in embarrassment. I could not pay for my purchase fast enough and get out Dodge.

By the way, I loved that all-in-one. It was constructed with spring-like metal stays and it gave me a figure like no other. It was my go-to foundation garment for years. I wish I could find one like it today!

Wearing ShopBop

Martin Weiß in the 2004 German film Agnes and His Brothers.