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Getting Your Girl On

The Feminine Shift: How Changing Gender Norms Are Transforming Men

Over the past decade, Western culture has undergone one of the most rapid transformations in gender expression since the social revolutions of the 1960s. What once existed at the margins—men exploring feminine clothing, aesthetics, and behavior—has moved steadily toward the center of mainstream culture. While still far from universal, the trend is unmistakable: today’s generation of men is significantly more open to embracing femininity than any generation before it.

The Rise of Everyday Androgyny

From nail polish to pearl necklaces to soft silhouettes, elements of traditionally feminine style have proliferated across social media, streetwear, and even corporate offices. What was once seen as transgressive has become fashion-forward. Gen Z men, especially, routinely post photos wearing eyeliner, crop tops, skirts, or jewelry without any intent to identify as women. For many, these choices are simply aesthetic preferences rather than political statements.

Fashion houses have taken note. Major brands now release genderless collections featuring skirts, sheer fabrics, flowing blouses, and pastel palettes—all marketed directly to male consumers. Retail data shows steady growth in men purchasing women’s sizes for fit, comfort, or style.

Crossdressing Moves From Subculture to Trend

Crossdressing, historically sequestered to private experimentation or nightlife subcultures, has begun to enter a more visible, normalized space. Influencers openly show their male-to-feminine styling routines, sharing wig tutorials, dress try-ons, and feminine makeup looks to millions of followers. Many present crossdressing not as identity exploration, but as a form of creative self-expression and play.

This shift has been accelerated by the collapse of rigid gender categories in general. When society loosens its grip on “men do this” and “women do that,” trying on clothing from any gender becomes no more radical than experimenting with a new hairstyle.

Why This Is Happening

Several cultural currents are driving the feminization trend:

Eroding Stigma: Younger generations overwhelmingly reject the idea that masculinity must be narrowly defined.

Digital Influence: Social platforms amplify niche aesthetics, allowing feminine-presenting men to find community and visibility.

Economic and workplace changes: As emotional intelligence, communication skills, and aesthetics become more valued, traits historically coded as feminine gain prestige.

Fashion’s expanding boundaries: Designers are eager to explore fluid, softer silhouettes for new markets.

Together, these forces create a perfect environment for men to adopt feminine traits without fear of cultural punishment.

A Near Future of Feminine Masculinity

Looking forward, many cultural observers speculate that the trend won’t just continue—it will accelerate.

A plausible near-future scenario sees men routinely wearing dresses, skirts, high heels, sheer tops, or leggings as everyday fashion. Stylish handbags could become as common among men as backpacks. Makeup—already creeping into mainstream male grooming—may become a standard part of professional polish.

Behaviorally, norms may shift as well: softer body language, more expressive communication, and aesthetics-first presentation may become the masculine norm rather than the exception.

This does not mean men will “become women,” nor that masculinity will disappear. Rather, the masculine identity itself is expanding outward, absorbing traditionally feminine traits and transforming them into something new. In effect, the future may hold a generation of men who dress and act in ways once associated primarily with women—but who are still fully, confidently men.

The Implications

If this trajectory holds, the cultural landscape of gender could look dramatically different within a single generation. Clothing stores may abandon men’s and women’s sections entirely. Workplaces may encourage more expressive dress for all genders. And children may grow up with such fluid norms that the idea of gendered clothing feels obsolete.

Whether welcomed, questioned, or resisted, the shift is unmistakable: the border between masculine and feminine presentation is dissolving. And as that wall crumbles, men are stepping—sometimes tentatively, sometimes boldly—into a world of fashion, aesthetics, and behavior that once belonged almost exclusively to women.

What emerges may be a future where gender expression is not about crossing boundaries, but about eliminating them altogether.

Wearing Shein

Suggested by Anon, Tim Conway femulates on an episode of television’s The Carol Burnett Show. Click here to view this femulation on YouTube.

When Husbands Come Home… as Women

A Quiet Revolution in America’s Living Rooms

For generations, Americans have been told to prepare for retirement by focusing on finances, healthcare, and hobbies. But across the country, an unexpected cultural shift has begun reshaping what “life after work” looks like—one driven not by doctors or financial planners, but by wives.

They’re encouraging—and in many cases insisting—that their husbands step into retirement not just with a new attitude, but a new gender presentation.

Welcome to the Retirement Feminization Movement, a trend that sociologists say emerged gradually over the past decade as women became dominant earners, household managers, and cultural decision-makers. What began as a handful of couples experimenting with gender role fluidity has become a widespread lifestyle transformation.

And the men? Many are discovering that retirement as women—at least in clothing, grooming, and daily social identity—feels more liberating, restful, and even joyful than they ever expected.

A Trend with Surprising Roots

According to the National Center for Relationship Studies, nearly 22% of American couples where the wife is the primary earner now report that the husband has adopted some form of feminine presentation at home. About half of those couples say the shift becomes more pronounced as retirement approaches.

Dr. Mara Ellingsworth, a sociologist at the University of Wisconsin, calls it “role realignment guided by marital pragmatism.”

“Wives have spent decades balancing career, emotional labor, and domestic expectations,” says Ellingsworth.

“As they reach midlife, many find it relieving—and empowering—to redefine the partnership. Feminizing the husband symbolizes a resetting of domestic roles, expectations, and status.”

Anthropologists compare it to older cultural patterns in which grandmothers directed the household hierarchy. But in modern America, the reins are being taken up by professional women—engineers, executives, teachers, surgeons—who are simply ready to lead at home the same way they lead at work.

Meet the Couples at the Forefront

Eleanor and Frank, both 68, from Portland

Frank spent 40 years in manufacturing management. On his last day of work, Eleanor greeted him not with a cake, but with a wardrobe.

“I told him, ‘Your stress years are behind you. Now I want you to experience the comfort and social grace women have cultivated for generations.’”

She guided him through learning skincare, choosing outfits, and adopting a softer communication style. Frank—who now goes by Frances at home—says the transformation has been grounding.

“I feel calmer, lighter. I never realized how much masculinity felt like armor I didn’t want to carry anymore.”

Denise and Howard, 54 and 57, from Atlanta

Howard’s transition began even earlier, when Denise observed how lost he looked after stepping back from work.

“He needed structure, and frankly, I wanted a companion who shared my routines—shopping, brunch, book clubs,” Denise says with a laugh.

Now Howard presents fully as female in social settings, joining Denise at her women’s networking events and garden club.

“My friends adore her,” Denise beams. “It’s like having a best girlfriend who also takes care of the house.”

Why Wives Are Leading the Shift

Experts cite three dominant motivations among women driving the movement:

1. Emotional Relief and Equality

Women long burdened with relational labor appreciate husbands adopting behaviors historically coded as feminine—empathy, gentleness, attentiveness.

2. Domestic Harmony

Couples report fewer arguments and clearer roles when the gender hierarchy inverts.

3. Expression of Female Authority

In many marriages, wives simply feel more confident, competent, and socially dominant by midlife. Redesigning the husband’s presentation expresses that authority in a surprisingly harmonious way.

How Husbands Are Adjusting

Reaction among men varies from enthusiastic to hesitant, but social scientists note that the vast majority eventually adapt comfortably. Workshops in major cities—labeled “Graceful Aging for Men” or “The Soft Life Transition”—teach retired men:

• makeup basics
• feminine etiquette
• wardrobes for daily wear
• voice softening techniques
• emotional expression and collaborative communication

Demand has surged so heavily that some sessions have multiyear waitlists.

The Future of Retirement?

While critics argue the movement pressures men into performing femininity, supporters counter that retirement has always been a time of reinvention. This shift simply reflects modern realities: women are leading, and many husbands are at peace letting them.

Ellingsworth predicts, “By 2040, the feminized husband may be a standard cultural archetype—no more surprising than the golf-loving retiree.”

For many women, it’s a natural evolution. For many men, it’s a revelation.

And for countless couples entering their final decades together, it’s proving to be the most unexpected relationship transformation of their lives—a softer, gentler, more balanced way to grow old side by side.

Danger, Will Robinson! This story is fiction!

Wearing Ann Taylor

Sawyer Smith and Megan Masako Haley

Stuff 98: Wigging Out!

By J.J. Atwell

Wig Shopping

I’ve written about buying a wig in the past and strongly recommending that you go to an actual wig store rather than buying online, most recently in Stuff #91. 

Today, I wanted to relate some actual experience. I’ve been thinking about a new wig for a while, but just didn’t get around to it. You may recall that one of JJ’s New Years’ resolutions was to get a new wig. A fortunate confluence of events resulted in a trip to a wig store about two hours away. 

One of the regular members of the local support group, Cathy, has become a good friend. She had a good experience with this particular wig store and we had talked about going there a few times. Well it happened that Cathy and I had a free Saturday recently and we decided to make the drive and see if I could find a wig I liked. 

On the Road

Cathy arrived at my house and we both got into girl mode. We left my house a bit before 11 AM on a Saturday for the nearly two-hour drive. As soon as we walked into the shop, the owner greeted Cathy warmly and myself equally so. Before the visit, I had thought a bit about what I wanted to try, but decided it was best to just see what struck me. So the three of us wandered around the showroom discussing things like length, color and style. The owner also covered the difference between synthetic and human hair wigs. 

Try On

There were a few wigs that immediately grabbed my attention and with that as a starting point, the owner showed me a few other options. Ultimately, we went to the try-on mirror (discretely located in the back of the shop) to see how they looked on my head. As you know, I firmly believe that picking out the right wig for you is something that needs to be done in person. 

Here is a great example of why you need to see the wig on your head. We started with five different wigs that looked good on a mannequin head, but a couple were immediate no’s as soon as they went on my head. They just didn’t look right. Fortunately, some of the other choices looked pretty good and I knew we were getting close. 

The whole time I had the owner take pictures of the wig front, back and sides so I could compare better. Cathy was offering her input as well. Ultimately, it came down to two very similar wigs. Finally, I took a deep breath and picked one that I liked best.

At that point I asked about the price and was pleasantly surprised that it was less than what I was prepared to spend. Total was just about $300 for the wig and the owner gave me a free wig brush. I wore the new wig out of the store with the old one in the box. Yes, the picture at the top of this page is my new look. 

Going Out

After buying the wig Cathy and I were hungry. It happens that shop is in the general area where another one of our club members and her SO live so, we contacted them to see if they were free and had and suggestions for restaurants. Ultimately, we agreed to meet at a place handy to both them and us. 

The restaurant was very busy and I was feeling self-conscious walking through on the way to our table. Once seated, I looked around and thought that one or two people might have been paying extra attention to us. But nothing bad happened and we had a very enjoyable meal. After eating, we drove back to my house where Cathy changed back into guy mode and headed home. I spent a bit more time in JJ mode just enjoying the new look. A really fun day!

I’ll Be Back

There will be more Stuff. As always comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff, so if there is something you would like to read about please let me know!

Wearing Maje

Dieter Borsche femulating in the West German film Fanfaren der Ehe.

Long Weekend For Dressing

 

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to all my faithful readers. I am so grateful that you take the time to read my daily missives and joyful that what I write has helped some of you in some way! 

I also want to thank the ladies who wrote articles for the blog during the past year: Brenda, Emily, Franziska, Jane, Jeanette, JJ, Missy, Monika, Norah, Paula, Penny and Tami... thank you all.

And finally, here is a big thank-you to Rhonda for her recent generous contribution to my Coffee Break! I really appreciate it, Rhonda! Thank-you!

Wearing Shein

This is a screen capture of a short video on YouTube where a brother dresses in his sister’s clothing.  I just love the suit he is wearing!

Click here to view this video in YouTube.

Pantomime

By Penelope “Penny” Patience

A 2024 performance of pantomimed Cinderella in Durham, England

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, we all know what a pantomime is, don’t we? Ah, our friends from the other side of the Pond are looking unsure. Well, for those who don’t know, a pantomime is a comedic musical theatrical performance with audience participation, usually loosely based on a fairy story or folk tale, which is traditionally performed in Britain during the Christmas season.

There are a series of conventions, which are an essential part of pantomime. The first and most important one is crossdressing. The male lead will be played by a young or shapely actress in a “breeches role” and there will be one or more female parts played by mature men as “dames.” For example, in Jack and the Beanstalk, Jack will be played by an actress and his mother by an older man. Similarly, in Cinderella, an actress will play Prince Charming, while two large men will play the Ugly Sisters.

With crossdressing being an essential aspect of the genre, you won’t be surprised to know that there are always lots of opportunities for double entendres. So, while small children are lapping up the fairy story, their parents and grandparents will be laughing at mild innuendos, which go over the heads of the tots.

A second convention is audience participation. This comes in various forms. The audience may be encouraged to join in singing a song with cast members. Or one of the villains may ask a rhetorical question of the audience and get into an argument with them. 

For example, an Ugly Sister might announce, “I will be the belle of the ball.”

The audience will respond, “Oh, no you won’t.”

The Ugly Sister will reply, “Oh, yes I will.”

“Oh, no you won’t.”

“Will!”

“Won’t!”

Another staple is “He’s behind you / She’s behind you.” Cinderella might be addressing the audience, when her Evil Stepmother appears behind her. The audience will shout: “She’s behind you” or “Look behind you.” Cinders looks over her right shoulder, while her stepmother is standing behind her on the left. The stepmother then moves to Cinders right shoulder and Cinders looks to her left and announces, “There’s nobody there.” The audience insists, “She’s behind you.” Only then does she look again, realize the threat and rush from the stage.

These conventions are so well known in Britain that, for example, MPs have used the “He’s behind you” gag a number of times in the House of Commons.

Pantomime animals are another staple of the genre, especially a horse or cow with one actor playing the front of the animal and another the rear end. The slapstick potential of an animal played by two actors is obvious.

In the pantomime Dick Whittington, poor Dick sets out for London to make his fortune accompanied by his cat, who, of course, is played by another actress. It is quite likely that Dick’s costume will include thigh-length boots and hot pants. And you can be sure that the scriptwriters will make full use of the potential for double entendres inherent in the name Dick.

Surprisingly, there is a core of truth in the story for in the Middle Ages there really was a Dick Whittington who was a cat lover and rose to become the Lord Mayor of London.

Another convention is that villainous characters will enter and leave the stage from stage left, while good characters will do so from stage right. Believe it or not, this goes all the way back to medieval passion plays when Hell was conceived as being off-stage left, and Heaven off stage right.

If you’ve never been to a pantomime, you really should go this year. “Oh, no I shouldn’t.” “Oh, yes you should.”

Wearing Ann Taylor

Paul O'Grady AKA Lily Savage pantomiming the Evil Queen in Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs on the British stage.